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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to HATE all this new fangled, internet baby advice stuff

136 replies

LeBFG · 15/08/2013 16:12

Of the sort:

breastfeeding necklaces (like this) give baby learning opportunities and stop them from getting brain damaged Hmm Hmm

lack of ''tummy time'' is to blame for all sorts of things from cognitive development to ability to read. I mean, really? We are damaging our children for life if they don't spend 10mins a day on their bellies?

And tons of others, including my old favorite, the BLW fad where babies practice their fine motor skills, jaw muscle movement and coordinating swallowing, which is helpful because otherwise they would never get a chance to do these things with purees and finger food.

All of these ^ things are good ideas, so why don't they just stop at that. Why do they have to tack on life-altering, super-duper brain development shit to sell the idea?

OP posts:
TheTurdsOfMisery · 15/08/2013 17:13

They are preying on the insecurities and fears of women - exactly that!

And look, Yoni, with the best will in the world, how many adults with undeveloped wrists do you know? Only my list is fairly short Grin and I bet at least half of them didn't get bloody 'tummy time'.

ToysRLuv · 15/08/2013 17:14

I think in most cases where women are depressed or stressed severely enough for it to have a long term effect on the child, they wouldn't probably be able to breastfeed for very long, thus rendering the necklace pointless.

nickelbabe · 15/08/2013 17:16

I've got a breastfeeding necklace -prettier than that one though.

I have been told that it's just to stop the baby from pulling at my hair and gouging my eyes out, or smacking me across the face.

Never heard of it being a developmental aid! just stops me from being beaten up at feeding time!

nickelbabe · 15/08/2013 17:18

we didn't do tummy time with DD either - every time I put her on her front, which was probably once a week at best, she would cry into the carpet :(
as soon as she was able to hold her own head up, she was fine on her tummy.
so, no tummy time and she still learned to do what tummy time is supposed to make them learn to do.

Portofino · 15/08/2013 17:19

I never even heard of tummy time til I read it on here.

MmeLindor · 15/08/2013 17:19

A friend of mine worried herself sick with the tummytime recommendation cause her daughter wouldn't lie on her tummy so she just left her. The doc told her she was underdeveloped and sent her to physiotherapy when she was about a year old. (This was in Germany where they are very pro-intervention).

The wee girl is now 9yo and is as bright as a button with no sign of any kind of developmental issues.

nickelbabe · 15/08/2013 17:20

actually, funny thing about rolling and tummy time...
DD never rolled onto her back from her front.
she learned how to roll from her back onto her front, then head stuck in carpet, cue crying and distress, roll her back onto back.

I think she started rolling onto her back once she started to move around more generally.

ToysRLuv · 15/08/2013 17:22

BLW was easy, but all the stuff it was marketed with might not actually wash. Certainly not the bit where babies who eat the same things as the rest of the family from the beginning, end up being less fussy children than their peers. While weaning, DS ate EVERYTHING. Now he eats a restricted (albeit healthy) range including only two cooked meals (one of which is a Little Dish ready meal). I suppose he could be even worse, though.

Paradoxically, I think he would have benefited from being given more mushy foods, rather than more solid and separate finger foods, as he now doesn't like mixed up or sloppy foods (apart from the aforementioned Little Dish chicken pie ).. It think as always, the middle road's the best one in just about everything.

KissMeHardy · 15/08/2013 17:23

Oh God - I must be old !! We didn't have: tummy time, BLW, growth spurts, sleep regression etc. etc. in my day. We just got on with it.

It was called "bringing up a baby" !!

Cookethenook · 15/08/2013 17:24

Ohh, i couldn't agree more.

I'm the only second-time parent in an NCT group of first time parents.

I often sit back and listen to various nutty guidelines and pieces of advice they've read about thinking 'it really doesn't make a damn bit of difference.' I have to keep my mouth shut, but i did draw the line (read laugh out loud) at paying £45 to do 3, hour-long sessions of baby massage with all of them, without even being able to do a taster session first! facepalm

They must think i'm a horribly lazy parent!

Cookethenook · 15/08/2013 17:26

Oh, and my lovely 11 week old just happily rolls back onto his back when i've tried 'tummy time'.... not worth the hassle!

ToysRLuv · 15/08/2013 17:27

Or maybe DS was just always destined to have his particular preferences with food and whatever I did/do means next to fuck all. After all, there are many things I don't like despite being given them regularly as a child. Oh well..

AnythingNotEverything · 15/08/2013 17:30

I'm on my second pregnancy with a 13 year old already. He was pretty much pre Internet (or pre fora like MN anyway).

He spent time on his tummy to encourage muscle development, but it wasn't branded tummy time.

He was weaned at 14 weeks (shock horror) because he was a big, hungry baby and guidelines at the time was 16 weeks. All weaning is baby led - you can't force solids on them! I fear the BLW info is the real current plague. The worries some parents face because, God forbid, their child likes to be spoon fed. As if it might break them in some way.

The other nonsense is the cost of everything! I bought a baby gym. Most likely unnecessary, but will hopefully allow me an occasional shower. Some of them were £70+. Seriously? I'd want it to fly for that price.

But most of all, I hate the smugness of people who try to tell me I need all of these things. Am I allowed to slap someone if they suggest a breastfeeding necklace? I may not be able to resist Wink

somewheresomehow · 15/08/2013 17:33

there wasn't any of that stuff when i had my 3 either. and this blw what tosh i dont see how a baby can go from milk to cooked carrots without a bit of mush in between (yes i am an oldie if you must ask :P)

Tee2072 · 15/08/2013 17:36

Guess we'd better shut down MN then. I'll let Justine and Carrie know right away...

MsJupiterJones · 15/08/2013 17:36

This is a horrible thread. I hate all that 'oh we just got on with it' 'my babies all slept on their front and were fine' anecdata bollocks.

I am doing my best to look after my baby with the information currently available. I use the Internet to help me find out more about stuff. I am not empty headed or short of ideas but I like to use the research and resources available to me.

This annoys me far more than a bit of bullshitting on the part of some bf necklace marketing.

MmeLindor · 15/08/2013 17:36

I did BLW but the B stood for Brezel.

I loved it when the DC were old enough to be handed a big chunk of brezel to eat in the pram. (Was in Germany at the time)

What a relief, not having to stop every 3 hours for a feed!

ToysRLuv · 15/08/2013 17:38

somewhere: You start with soft cooked or soft-even-as-raw foods. Raw carrots come much later. DS learmed quickly and it was very easy, and I would still do it with any potential DC2. However, it's not the be all and end all. People should do whatever suits them. I'm lazy, so will do the easiest thing. Also, I often tended to spoon feed things like yoghurts and porridge, anyway, rather than let DS paint his face and the chair with it. Other times I would just let him get on with it, dipping his hand in a yoghurt pot while my horrified DM watched (and then fled saying that she could not bear witness that kind of stuff).

Libertine73 · 15/08/2013 17:39

I for one am glad my babies were born in the internet age. It's all still common sense after all,no one believed all the guff in magazines/telly either, just pick and chose, the net is the same.

Libertine73 · 15/08/2013 17:41

But no, the necklace/ depressed Mother shite can defo go fuck off Grin

ToysRLuv · 15/08/2013 17:42

I think baby advice on the Internet is both bad and good. It's the guilt-tripping and scare tactics that get to me. Often "experts" will exaggerate/generalise their findings/opinions to make a point, and for people to buy their products. That is what I hate about the Internet. Not sure what can be done about that though. First time parents are always going to be anxious and looking for information.

Balaboosta · 15/08/2013 17:44

Junk neuro science. Lot of it about.

pianodoodle · 15/08/2013 17:50

and this blw what tosh i dont see how a baby can go from milk to cooked carrots without a bit of mush in between

I think maybe the tendency is to not start food until 6 months nowadays - that's what I did anyway. They don't need everything pureed then but they do when they're younger.

ToysRLuv · 15/08/2013 17:51

Yes, baby must be 6 months old, be able to sit unaided, and grab food and put into mouth.

TheProsAndConsOfHitchhiking · 15/08/2013 17:51

YANBU! I find all of this malarky most ridiculous!

I have brought up 3 dc and just went with the flow, No silly groups, no daft necklaces, If my dc rolled onto their bellies through the night I did not sit watching them for the next 2 weeks while they slept 'just incase'.
I slept on the sofa for 2 weeks after a c section with my newborn beside me with no accidents at all. I even weaned at 12 weeks with all of them.

They are all still alive and healthy (the advice nowadays I find is very unhealthy to a new mum, talk about pressure!!)

oh and i breastfed all 3 but would not dream of doing it in a swimming pool Wink