To feel a bit let down by friends?

[FrogCatchcer]

Not sure if I'm BU or not...

Basically we've moving house in two weeks and having to renovate our derelict new one before we move in. DH is away with work for 3 weeks and I'm at home with our 3 DC for the Summer hols while trying to manage the renovation.

I am really at my wits end, so stressed that I feel ill. My DC's friends parents who I'm also friends with all know how hard I'm finding it but haven't offered to have any of them round for a playdate to take the pressure off a bit. I'm feeling resentful as I have their DC quite often. In fact it seems I've heard from them less now they know I might need help...

AIBU?

YANBU - but have you actually asked them??

Not every person would think to offer.

You are only assuming. Why don't you ask?

Yes you're right maybe I should. I'm a bit embarrassed to, I don't mind at all when I'm asked but always feel a bit awkward asking in return!

4 of ds's friends owed us a 'playdate' (vile expression) so I texted them and asked when they would like to have him.

Bit cheeky but it worked!

Just phone and lay it on- say .. Oh this house is a mess, so much to do blah blah blah. Are you able to take Dc for an afternoon so I can crack on. Any day that suits you?

The worst that can happen is that you get a 'no'.

Yabu, they can't read your mind.

If I know a friend has a stressful and busy time ahead I would contact them less too, I'd wait for them to contact me because I wouldn't want to disturb them.

Just ask, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Well if they have asked you in the past don't feel cheeky about asking them in return.

If you are going to ask - go straight to the point and point out exactly what it is you need doing.

I got a message from a friend last year saying she was moving. I offered to help. Her response was oh, well, everything needs doing and I need all the help I can get.
Knowing she has kids I offered to babysit - I have 3 kids of my own and wouldn't be able to help pack without my kids getting in the way, but she already had a sitter covered. Again I asked what could I do to help, again, the answer was everything and anything.

I gave up.

people are not mind readers and they have their own thing going on you should ask them maybe they just dont think to offer

yanbu to need a hand though

Ask them!

ASK THEM!!! They're not flipping psychic, they probably think you've got everything in hand already!

Gah! Yes you're all right, should ask, the thought makes me squirm though, not sure why..

I know exactly where you are coming from.

Members of my family moved home at the start of the year, and I had their DC almost daily for two weeks whilst they packed/decorated/moved etc. I moved a couple of months ago and there wasn't a single offer to help with either my kids, or the physical decorating/moving etc.

I was really upset by it all, but probably should have just asked for them to pitch in!