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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to tell him that if he doesn't like the way i do it than he should see if he

48 replies

oldham70 · 14/08/2013 23:16

Can do better.
I am a sahm with 3dc including a baby. I do virtually all the housework laundry childcare shopping etc.
Obviously the grocery bills have risen alot as we now have an extra baby to feed buy nappies and do laundry for etc etc. Also it doesn't help when you are shopping with dc.
Well dh has had yet another moan because i have spent more money at the supermarket.
Aibu to tell him to do the shop for the next two weeks and see how much things really cost. He does occasionally shop but buys cleaning materials nappies etc so i can't help thinking he hasn't got a clue.

OP posts:

HotSoupDumpling · 15/08/2013 08:37

Oldham, he can't moan unless he can point out exactly what he thinks you should do differently. I've had similar little moans from DP. As far as I'm concerned, it's perfectly natural for him to be concerned, but the receipts are available for him to peruse and if he has an issue with certain items (e.g. if he thinks we shouldn't be buying a certain product etc) or with the shops we go to then he can bring them up specifically.

I have told him clearly that It is totally unhelpful just to say 'we're spending a bit much aren't we', because I shouldn't have to justify every food shop. If he has a constructive comment to make to help us reduce the cost then that would be different.

LEMisdisappointed · 15/08/2013 08:41

Thing is, shopping is getting more expensive anyway. Own brand is the way to go, but do price check as sometimes they have the "brand" on special offer.

BeenieBaby · 15/08/2013 08:42

I think what you spend is reasonable. We spend aroun the same and are 2 adults and 2 dc. But I wouldn't drag kids round te supermarket- that's my idea of torture! Ocado delivery all the way here, and I got the delivery pass so I don't have to worry if I have to do a midweek shop.

DontmindifIdo · 15/08/2013 08:46

I'd definately do on line shopping. You can 'sell' it to him as you've thought about what he's said adn think if you meal plan and only buy what you need rather than go with the DCs and give into pester power. I think our local Sainsburys does free delivery on a couple of nights a week if you spend over £50, worth checking.

then give him the laptop, and you have a list, so he can look at all the options for stuff like "kichen cleaner" and see there's not a mythical one that costs 20p. The trick is to make him put everything he wants on the list too. I'd also suggest a good way to save money is to all eat the same meals rather than him having another meal. (If he wants to eat at a different time, then fine, you can dish some up and he can reheat it.)

Push the meal planning as a way to save money and be more in control. When DH does the on line shop he is surprised how much the total is, but rarely wants to remove anything from the list.

AlwaysWashing · 15/08/2013 08:47

waltzingmatilda I too would love to know how you feed 5 adults on £40????
Not suggesting it's not true but what do you actually eat?

AlwaysWashing · 15/08/2013 08:49

I'm assuming it includes toiletries/cleaning products too as per normal weekly shop?

cozietoesie · 15/08/2013 09:21

My Sainsbury's does free delivery Tues - Thurs if you spend over £100 - easy done if you're buying every two or three weeks. At the moment, they're also doing a deal of free delivery anytime until end August (29th I think) and I remember that when I signed up with them, a few years back, they also gave me about £40-£50 worth of vouchers as an introductory gift.

Sign up in any case if you have one near you and see what arrives in your email by way of presents. Even if you don't buy right away.

ChubbyKitty · 15/08/2013 15:39

The Internet seems to have eaten my reply.

Alibaba I go with my dad in a Sunday, he likes spending the time with me and getting out and about.

But I agree with you. DP is perfectly capable of toddling off on his own. He works there so he's not likely to get lost or scared!

Maybe as an experiment I will send him with a list(feign a migraine) and see what he comes back with. But I will hold no responsibility if he doesn't like what I cook that week!

QueenofallIsee · 15/08/2013 15:43

Less than 40 for 5? I spend 150 + per week for 6 so am in awe

Bunbaker · 15/08/2013 15:49

Why do you go shopping with small children in tow? Why don't you shop online? It is so much easier to check prices. Besides, you can peruse the special offers before you shop instead of trailing round a supermarket.

Those of you who can feed a family of 5 for £40. What do you eat?

captainmummy · 15/08/2013 15:52

Neomaxi - A chicken should always stretch to 2 meals! Roast on sunday, soup on monday . Make stock withthe bones and add thai-red-curry paste, or just veg and noodles, and the stripped chicken meat.
I sometimes even get 3 meals - using the stripped meat in stuffed pancakes and the like.

OP - he works in a supermarket? Shouldn't he know te prices then?

captainmummy · 15/08/2013 15:54

Sorry - not OP! Read chubbykitty's reply and thought it was you.

I spend about £80-90 per week in tescos on 5 of us

ChubbyKitty · 15/08/2013 18:05

Captain he's in the home and leisure section so he sorts the towels and cups. Not really an excuse I know.

FryOneFatManic · 15/08/2013 19:06

I recently had to educate DP on today's food prices, as we've been on his salary alone until I start my new job (Monday, Yay!)

I pointed out that in our area, a bag of potatoes might look the same price, but when he realised that the weight of the bag had gone down from 2.5kg to 1.5 kg while staying at the same price, he finally got what I'd been telling him, that most food prices in general have been shooting up over the last year/18 months.

He did apologise, especially when he noticed our trolley was full of basic staples and wasn't full of useless crap.

FryOneFatManic · 15/08/2013 19:09

captainmummy if you want some variation on what to do with the stripped meat from a chicken, I've often made risotto, which is actually easier than people might believe.

Even when I could afford more and better stuff, I've always attempted to keep food waste to a minimum.

Emilythornesbff · 15/08/2013 19:23

YANBU.
I don't think your bill looks excessive. Have him shop or do an online shop together for a month.
Personally I find tesco a nightmare. Quite pricey (even compared to sainsburys) and all the offers are bulk buy which leads to overstocking/ waste.
Also, shopping with small children is a bit of a struggle.
He's probably just stressed about money. I feel like that every time I go into a supermarket. It's very expensive.

BiscuitDunker · 15/08/2013 19:57

I don't have much of a worry when it comes to rows over food bills with my DH as he always comes with me but when we were seriously skint one week I managed to get enough basic food to feed the 2 of us and dd for a week spending just £27 (plus an extra £3-5 in the week for bread and milk) but I didn't need to buy cleaning products or toiletries,baby formula ect like the OP.

I agree that buying supermarket own brand food is the way to go if you want to lower your food bills,most of it tastes just as good (if not nicer) than the expensive branded stuff,even the own brand laundry and cleaning products do just as good a job as brands like Dettol and Lenor (and some actuall smell nicer I think).

If you don't try the own brand things you'll never know A)How much money you could save and B)If any of it is actually any good,or at least good enough that you'd happily swap brands and buy it instead.

It also helps to shop around now,I've found tesco has become very expensive lately so I've started picking up quite a bit in iceland and asda and I now tend to buy teabags and snacks like crisps and chocolate in the pound shops in town,its the exact same branded stuff but cheaper than supermarkets!

captainmummy · 16/08/2013 08:04

Fryone - Yes a stripped chicken ccan stretch to at least 2 meals - risotto is a good one, also pasta with cream/chicken bits.
I don't agree with those who say Aldi/Lidl is cheaper - i sometimes shop in Lidl and it comes to about £50-60, but they dont stock a lot of the stuff i get in tesco, like Rooibos tea, and there is less choice so I then spend another £20 in waitrose!

Sparrowlegs248 · 16/08/2013 08:45

Am off to Aldi later. Going to try for a weeks shop for £30. We don't need any cleaning stuff.

pianodoodle · 16/08/2013 08:53

DH was working out how much we spend a while ago and said "weekly groceries what's that about £25?"

I just fell about laughing

trinity0097 · 16/08/2013 08:57

A couple of weeks ago the bill was sent in for hubby's car service. I asked him to guess how much, he said £200, I said, how about £370! He is clueless about how much costs!

vintagecakeisstillnice · 16/08/2013 09:03

This ---He who bitches, gets the chore.

TantrumsAndBalloons · 16/08/2013 09:16

personally i think £100 for 5 people is bloody good, my shopping this week came to £187.45 for 5 of us.

YY to online shopping together so he can see exactly how much food costs.

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