Family Birthdays - aarghhh!!!

[IvaNighSpare]

I'm really quite miffed and need help calming down.
My brother celebrates a milestone birthday this week, however my family and I are going on holiday over this date as it was the only time DH could get leave from work. DBro has been really arsey about this and telling us how offended he is at our 'snub'.
To add insult to injury his PFB son also celebrates a birthday during this time, and our plan was to go and see them when we got back and give them their presents, in person, a few days late.
I've just had a snotty text from DBro saying it was "a bit off not getting (PFB) a present before you go, frankly".
We leave tomorrow and haven't had the time to go buying presents, let alone delivering them. We were hoping to spend some time on our hols finding something a bit different and well thought out to bring back.
Now I'm just trawling Amazon to avoid the aggro.
AIBU in thinking that DBro is being a selfish arse??

Well do that then - bung him a few quid 7 tell him to buy something for PFB from you!

Your brother sounds like a brat. Ofcourse you are going to take a holiday if it's the only time your DH can go. I'd remind him of all the times he has missed your DC's birthdays.

YANBU

Ridiculous behaviour surrounding expectations over birthdays and what is deemed to be "acceptable behaviour" is one of the many reasons I sadly no longer see my brother.

at times mumsnet can be very strange. a while back i posted about my brother ignoring my son's 18th birthday - and all my other kids birthdays - and was told something along the lines of that it was entitled to expect presents and/or cards and that many didn't bother anyway.

advice now seems to have changed entirely and you'r been told off, despite the fact that you are actually providing presents, just not on the day.

Yanbu

Your brother is an arse.

ironically, since our last interaction, Dbro doesn't know that I've busted a gut to ensure all presents now arrive on their birthdays (unnecessary postage and wrapping fees accrued) not when we get back as expected.
I'd love to think that he would feel humbled and a little bit ashamed by his demands but I suspect he'll just feel he won!!!
I know that this is just enabling his behaviour and fuelling his overblown sense of self entitlement but I refuse to let my nephew be used as a pawn in this twisted agenda (I'm pretty convinced the child won't give two hoots about a late present unless Daddy makes an issue of it).

words may need to be said later but for now at least the moral victory is mine.

I think you are both bu.

yeah you probably have a point Emily.
I just re-read my last post and I did come across a bit sanctimonious

Your brother is being an arse. A present a few days late is not going to kill anyone.

But demanding and stamping ones feet about a present is being unreasonable especially as he has history for not getting your children cards/gifts.

Personally I would have gone along with the orignal plan and got something from holiday.

Next time your brother is late with your childrens cards/gifts, you can claim the moral highground by reminding him of what an unreasonable prat he was with his demands.

such an oddly emotive and polarising subject. I didn't realise there would be such a diversity of opinion.
Thank you to all though x

Your brother needs to grow up a bit re. his birthday. He may have a point about the present for PFB. I would have made sure that I had sorted something before I had gone away BUT surely he will have loads of pressies on the actual day and getting more pressies after your actual birthday is always exciting when you are a kid.

OP

send them some