WIBU to contact old friend via work?

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I was really close to a girl in the year below me in sixth form (I was in my final year, she in her first). I took a gap year and then was very surprised but delighted when she popped up at my uni after a last minute decision to attend, so we were both freshers, albeit in different halls. We had different friendship groups and lived separately but it was brilliant to have her there. I knew her friends and she knew mine.

In the final year at uni, she had a few tragedies ? she was fine academically but emotionally all over the place. I spent time trying to arrange her graduation, cape etc, but she wasn?t up to it and didn?t attend. After uni her family moved and I didn?t know how to get hold of her (this is 15 years ago in the days before widespread mobile usage and facebook, we were reliant on landlines etc!).

So we lost contact and I assumed she was off somewhere being successful, as she?s very talented. Weirdly enough, although I?ve thought of her from time to time over the years, I only googled her yesterday and found her firm where she now works. WIBU to drop her a line? I was worried it might bring back memories of the troubles she had in her final year at uni and/or be intrusive since it?s work.

I don't think that's unreasonable at all. People do it all the time and if she doesn't want to follow up age diesn't have to.

Also 15 years is a long time. And assuming you were a good and supportive friend then I can't see why she would have negative associations attached to you.

Go for it

I'd do it. Make it brief with private contact details just in case her work is strict about personal emails etc

She doesn't have to
bloody phone

I don't see why not?

Could you contact her via Facebook?

I suppose I feel a bit shy about it as she's one of those rare people who is not reliant on friends, or virtually anything - I used to get told that I was her achilles heel!

I'll do it, I'll contact her co and ask if my email can be passed on

Oh, I wouldn't phone. Too out of the blue and on the spot.

I'd go for it. My DH did the same and is now back in touch with a very good, old friend. At the end of the day if she does't want contact she can ignore you.

She's not on Facebook, that wouldn't suit her personality. Swedish thanks, I would never phone; there's not a phone number anyway, just link to first port of call email enquiries. I'll just ask if I can get in contact with her, with my full name, and see if that's ok and if she responds. I wouldn't say that it's in a personal capacity.

We had quite an intense friendship when we were daft teens and early twenties but that is a long time ago now! I would love to know how she is now though.

Do it. I've recently got back in touch with an old friend after about 12 years.

Is she on LinkedIn? You can message via that and it will email her to let her know she has a message?

maddening no don't think she's on linklin, can't imagine her liking anything like that. She's really quite self-composed, extremely bright and insular, she always has been.

We had quite an intense friendship in that at the last year at school and also at uni we used to occasionally fall asleep cuddling each other (this is not latent lesbianism, btw). But we always trusted each other a lot. I couldn't help her that much at uni though when she had some horrid tragedies, though I did try. She's extremely successful now though she's not a 'networker'. I have already dropped her a line! So it would be nice if she responds, if not, I know that she's getting on with life :)

I would write to her. Pen and paper to her work address not email as it's personal.

MrsLouis I have already just sent a brief email. And I did also to a friend from primary school who for some reason ended up going to uni with us both and was in her halls. I introduced them initially then they fell out. I don't know why I just haven't contacted them before, it has been a long time?! It was very different geographical situations despite it sounding like we were all next door.

Uni/sixth form/primary school were quite far apart in the UK. I don't have her address anymore anyway. I honestly don't know why I left it this late. I'll update if I reconnect with anyone. MrsLouis do you have experience of this?

Oh balls, she left the firm 2 years ago. They responded at first that no, sorry, they don't have contact details. I balked and asked if she was still there (I was worried praps she didn't want contact) and then they provided details of when she left. She was working abroad btw.

op you sound so sweet and I am sure they would love to hear from you. Although she no longer works for that company I hope you do manage to get in touch with her some how! Do let us know if you have any luck :)