or too reasonable...

[serengetty]

My best friend of 10 years quite often has wobbles over her life/family, due to stress, but she loves them all to death and always gets over it quickly.
Her husband had a brief fling over 20 years ago, with her best friend, and she has forgiven but cannot forget the pain it caused.
In short, she was being a bit funny with me and eventually told me it was because she is neurotic that he will have another affair with one of her friends, and because I recently bought a puppy in a breed her husband likes, she worries it will be me! I assured her I very much like her husband and her as friends, we socialise a lot together, I'd never thought of him in that way, I never have! I told her I understand her insecurity. and reassured her, but since then I've wound myself up thinking it was disrespectful to me, my partner, and her husband to think such things, and now I feel a little uncomfortable that I didn't stick up for myself more!
Or should I just forget the whole thing and put it down to temporary madness on her part......

sorry you said you were her 'best friend' and her dh had an affair with her 'best friend' so just assuming of course it wasn't you.

anyway your friend is bound to be insecure of course but I suspect she thinks her dh either fancies you or is straying again and she's trying to share her feelings with you.

if it was me I think I would back off a little from them both, especially seeing them as a couple maybe just see her alone, and watch yourself around him.

are you in a relationship op? maybe if not its time for you to take a bit of time for yourself.

you sound a lovely friend by the way.

I think you should put it down to your friend just being worried.
I also think your friend is crying out for reassurance that it won't happen again. She is vulnerable, and she needs a good friend to talk to. She sounds to be struggling with the after effects of the affair. Maybe suggest she try counselling (either alone or couples).
She also needs to talk to her husband. He caused this upset, he needs to be the one to reassure her he will never do it again.

Try not to be offended, she is clearly worried about her future with her husband.

Yes, I'm standing back. And no it wasn't me. And yes, I'm in a relationship and getting married!

She is getting counseling, and he is very upset to have caused all the pain to her. She knows it's irrational, and I understand that. Sometimes I just feel my 'Good nature' is rather taken for granted and I should get more miffed by the things people say to me.

Temporary madness. She's expressing distrust in him, with you as a possible object of his attention - just because you're someone they both know and have a puppy(!) - not suggesting you have thought about him that way, would do, or would act on it with anyone. So it's not a slight on you, she's being a bit crazy and wants reassurance.

She needs to decide if she wants to live the rest of her life feeling like this, it seldom goes away, once the trust has been broken.

It is hugely disrespectful to include you in such behaviour but entirely understandable,

very sad and what ever she decides she will have to live with great unhappiness,

Does she know just because she accepted his behaviour in the past she can reject it all now? or does she feel she has to live with it.