to want to make dh be more sympathetic

[PrincessScrumpy]

I had a missed call from Dh at 5.07pm but no message so thought he was calling to say he's on his way (hour long drive so not unusual for him to call) but at 6pm I get another call - he's leaving in 5 minutes. I was really grumpy with him as I was expecting him in in 10 minutes but it'll be after 7pm so I will be putting 3dc (dtd 23mo and 5yo dd) to bed on my own.
It's not the fact he's late it's the fact he didn't tell me. He knows I'm ill (just a cold but feel crap) and had to drag myself to the supermarket for a big shop with all 3dc. He often works late on a Tuesday but it's his last week before moving to a new job and he didn't text (like usual) so I'd assumed he was on time.
I really don't think he appreciates that after a long day with dc I start clock watching and wishing him home as soon as 6pm comes round - I've explained this but he thinks iabu. Probably am, to exhausted to think straight.

YABU to be annoyed with your DH for not telling you. He tried to tell you by phoning you.

YANBU to be tired and a bit grumpy though.

Online shop and text messages.

I totally understand. There is nothing worse than waiting for your other half to get in, suddenly to discover that they're running an hour late and yet again you're doing the bedtime routine. I think a lot of it is linked to the fact that you couldn't just pop out for an hour at will without the DC in tow, yet he knows you're at home and so has the 'luxury' of staying late. I know it's work, but this kind of scenario often makes me think DH would have to leave on time if we both worked and took it in turns to do nursery collections.

Hopefully him starting a new job will mean a change of routine for you all. Can you have an appointed day that he comes home early? My DH works late Tuesday but tries to get in by 5pm on a Wednesday. And he also doesn't tell me now when he's planning to be home early on other days as invariably he wouldn't be and I'd not be happy when he did turn up.

I think yab(a bit)u. I guess he doesn't stay late because it is a bundle of laughs but because he has work he has to finish. It must be annoying for him not to see his dc before they go to bed. I really get the clock watching thing but it isn't his fault he is late.

When I was working I always left work on time as I had to get to nursery on time. He knows as soon as he gets home I'm going to bed (feeling that poo) and part of me thinks he phones knowing I wouldn't answer as I was shopping for food with dc as he usually texts and gets free text messages so why call? Just so he can say he tried.

Yabu but perfectly understandable. Hate it when oh tells me he will be home x then phones to say he will be late around the time he is due in - makes me feel so cross for some reason.

Online shopping is great.
I think Ocado are the best.

YANBU - why didn't he leave you a message or send a text if you didn't answer?

YABU but I totally understand why and I have been just as U in the past over DH doing the same thing.

I called him lots of bad names under my breath was cross earlier this week because I was expecting him home from work around 6:30pm after he assured me he wouldn't be as late as the night before (I've torn a ligament in my knee so really need some help dealing with dc's bath and bedtime). At 6:45 I called to see where he was, worrying that the trains were running late or something and got a text in response saying "Sorry, am in a meeting at the moment". I made lots of faces like this , called him many bad names and moments later he strolled through the front door! Turns out his phone was in his pocket and he'd lent on it while I was calling, setting off the auto-text thingy.

Even though he hadn't actually done anything wrong and was home in time to help with bedtime, it still took me half an hour to calm down.

YANBU, my DH does this too and it is MADDENING. Calling me when you are already late to say you haven't even left yet? Aaaaaaaggggggghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YANBU, it's so frustrating to expect someone home at say, 6, and then finding out at five to 6 that they'll be another hour or so!