To think my in-laws' ways are not normal?

[Snoot]

Apparently I am wrong and they are normal in many ways, I just find them odd! A selection from this weekend:

Stewed fruit, served for pudding, is commonly served with weetabix on top if people are still hungry

Scone is pronounced like stone

A footstall is not a puff but a poof-ay

Spag bol sauce contains no garlic, salt, pepper, or noticeable tomatoes but contains kidney beans and is served with ketchup

I could go on!

Now I used to work at a company that was about 75% Greek, and a lot of people there obviously pronounced Nike 'properly', not in the American English way. After a while it seeped into my subconscious and I ended up with a lot of my friends thinking I was a right pretentious tit.

I always thought NI people were God fearing sorts, and yet here they are bumming and blowing all and sundry.

Down with this filth!

We've just had the World Police Fire Games in Belfast. I was at the ice hockey and the MC was asking a Canadian questions to win an ice hockey shirt. One of then was how to pronounced Belvoir Park. When someone told him what how it was, his face was a mixture of .

What is the correct pronunciation for Nike?

Squoosh

That 'bolognaise' isn't and sounds disgusting.

Poofe is not pr. puff though. Pouffe, poof and puff have three distinct pronunciations. (Poof - 'oo' sound, poof rhymes with woof, puff - well that depends on hopw you pronounce 'u' but in my 'standard English' it's p-uh-ff).

Adiddas.

oh dear, it's spelt pouffe though isn't it.

And Doublebois in Cornwall is...Dubbleboys :(

Belvoir Castle's pronunciation makes me want to hire a cannon and shoot cannonballs at it. Or at least daub graffiti on the drawbridge.

Don't get me started on 'haitch'

squoosh correct Greek pronunciation is 'nee-keh' (she was the Goddess of Sex). Most people who aren't Greek pronounce it 'Nigh-Kee'

I did not know she was the Goddess of Sex, the filthy minx.

I pronounce it the incorrect way.

I know about all these things from reading Jilly Cooper with Freddie Jones wife mispronouncing everything to the amusement of the poshos.

I could handle myself at a polo match now, me.

Seems my Greek teacher was wrong, Nike was the Goddess of Victory. I've been labouring under that misapprehension telling everyone that for years...

Goddess of Sex?

Bwahahahaha!!!!!

I reckon your Greek teacher was having a laugh at your expense!

And the greeks I worked with said 'NIH-geh', emphasis on the first syllable. And the 'g' is sort of halfway between a hard g and a k.

If you really want to get pretentious, you can pronounce Oreos as 'Or-AY-ohs, rolling your 'r's nicely.

My name is Smegs and I am a pretentious twat...

Bollocks. I just said Nike out loud and realised I got the emphasis the wrong way round.

Emphasis on the second syllable. Sorry

Oh Smeg, the shame. Go stand in a corner and whip thine self.

A brand of sportswear named after the Goddess of sex-genius!

coco we have a hotpress too. And a clothes horse. And the thing you put the car in? The garage? That's a 'garridge' not a 'ga-raj'. Also, its a roofspace, not an attic. I'm sure there are more...

I was nodding to all of those till you got to 'roofspace'. Have never heard anyone describe their attic as a roofspace.

I say scone like stone

squoosh attic sounds terribly posh to me

Attic is posh, isn't it? Implying room to walk around in? I've never heard of calling it headspace! It's always been a lift to me.

I want to read some Jilly Cooper now, do you think it's available on kindle?

Loft!!! Not lift! Although that sounds more fun

Roofspace? Are you an estate agent?

Whipping myself now, mistress squoosh.

God. If someone is boasting I say they bummed and blowed .
It's like I'm hearing it for the first time.

Spat out my coffee!!!