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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get irritated at cheeky friend?

36 replies

MrsMc82 · 12/08/2013 12:49

Grrrrrrr friend just text to see if I have membership to a local touristy place - she knows I do - and if so can she use it - no hi, no "know it's cheeky to as but...." no thanks - am I being unreasonable to think as got a bloody cheek!?

OP posts:
Morgause · 12/08/2013 12:50

YANBU. Cheeky mare.

OHforDUCKScake · 12/08/2013 12:52

Im not sure what the big deal is really. Id happily lend out a membership card to a friend if I wasnt using it.

QueenofKelsingra · 12/08/2013 12:54

as a one off I would lend it no problem. I wouldn't lend it to someone over and over again as they should buy a membership if they want to go to the attraction regularly.

Elsiequadrille · 12/08/2013 12:54

I'm not sure. Why is it a cheek to ask if she may borrow your membership card? Is she a good friend?

Faith48 · 12/08/2013 12:56

I would have no problem with lending my membership card but to ask straight out and not even say 'hi' or 'thanks' that is rude in my opinion.

kinkyfuckery · 12/08/2013 12:56

If you're not using it, why shouldn't she borrow it?

If it came to a point where she was using it as much as you, you wouldn't be unreasonable to ask her to contribute towards the renewal charge.

DamnBamboo · 12/08/2013 12:57

If it was a good friend, I would happily loan them my card

ShatnersBassoon · 12/08/2013 12:57

Does she ask to borrow it often? If not, I would lend it.

Is it within the rules of the attraction for other people to use the membership? If it is and I wasn't risking my membership being cancelled, I would lend it.

Doilooklikeatourist · 12/08/2013 12:58

I thought membership to touristy places were non transferable ?

WorraLiberty · 12/08/2013 12:59

Why would a friend begin a text with "It's cheeky to ask but..."?

I don't think it's cheeky at all.

5Foot5 · 12/08/2013 13:02

Well I think it is cheeky. Isn't it basically fraud?

fuzzpig · 12/08/2013 13:03

It is cheeky if you've spent lots of money on said membership.

LoveWine · 12/08/2013 13:07

I'm glad I don't have many friend like you to be honest.

Wuxiapian · 12/08/2013 13:09

YANBU, Mrs.

She could at least have some manners.

KellyElly · 12/08/2013 13:11

If it was a good friend I wouldn't give it a second thought and would lend it to her.

Mimishimi · 12/08/2013 13:11

Hmmm. The membership cards I recently had to a touristy place said that another person can't use them and they have photos on the back of it which the person at the ticket booth checks. Tell your friend that it's only valid if you are there?

fuzzpig · 12/08/2013 13:15

Not quite a touristy thing but I know those unlimited cinema cards (my teen/adult DSCs all have one) have photos on the back presumably to avoid this sort of thing. I don't know if tourist memberships have similar though

SlightlyItchyBraStrap · 12/08/2013 13:15

YABU. Cheeky or not, it's not worth getting irritated over. Just say, I'm not comfortable lending out my membership as it's non-transferable. If she pursues the matter, then you can get irritated.... And this thread can turn into one of those where everyone pitches their ideas for subsequent texts and does poems etc.

fuzzpig · 12/08/2013 13:16

Aw, but the poems are always so funny :o

HandMini · 12/08/2013 13:33

Yeah, it's cheeky because you have paid for it and it may be that you're taking a small risk if its non transferable. I'd still lend it to her, despite her abrupt text, but only as a one off.

Original poster
MrsMc82 · 12/08/2013 17:35

Ha! Thanks all - have said that she can borrow it - just the lack of manners that irked! Much better to post in aibu than send her a narky text!

The last twice I took her and her dd with me and ds on said membership she went home after about 20 mins, first time declaring it too cold to be outside and the second saying that it was boring for her dd!!!! So that is perhaps why i was particulary irritated - oh and she replied to my text saying she could borrow the card saying "ok I'll pick it up tomorrow morn" still no thanks! grrr!

OP posts:
DiseasesOfTheSheep · 12/08/2013 17:58

I would have lent it to a good friend too, under those circs, but I don't think you're unreasonable to be annoyed at her lack of manners. I also think (assuming you paid for it and loaning it to her saves her entry fees) she should rock up tomorrow to pick it up (or conceivably drop it off home) with something like a bottle of wine / flowers / chocolate, depending on how much it's saved her as a thanks. I don't think she will though Wink

Joiningthegang · 12/08/2013 18:07

Wouldn't bother me - I would be glad to be getting more moneys worth.

TeenAndTween · 12/08/2013 18:45

I think YABU to lend it. You are defrauding the tourist attraction.

This in turn leads to higher entry prices and annual membership, as they work these out based on visitor numbers etc. I know that there is no direct 'loss' to the attraction by your friend getting in for free, but they lose revenue all the same.

Quite shocked at the numbers replying so far who seem to think it is OK (especially when in general mumsnet is quite judgy about unimportant things).

If places with annual membership want you to have 'friends' entry, they include it with the card.

Blondeshavemorefun · 12/08/2013 18:51

i have a membership card for leeds castle (nearish me) and lent to a friend last week

glad that she got some enjoyment out of it and saved her money :)