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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask for help and advice on this situation

33 replies

needadvice23 · 11/08/2013 21:29

I?ve namechanged because I need to protect anonymity.

I went to see my brother (who is 19) in his house for the first time in the 3 months he?s lived there and I?m so scared for him after what I?ve seen and what he has told me. He lives in a shared house with 2 girls who are around 22-25, he doesn?t actually know their exact ages. They?re both members of a gang and and a range of people connected to this gang are regularly in the house. They?ve set times when he is allowed in the kitchen to make food and when he is allowed in the bathroom, he is not allowed to be in there outside of this allotted times, and he is not allowed in the sitting room at anytime whatsoever.

Each bedroom has an individual locked door (thankfully) and my brother keeps his door locked at all times and frankly he is absolutely petrified of them (the main reason it was my first visit was that he had told me that under no circumstance was dd to be brought to the home). One of them hammered on his door when I was there and he nearly jumped out of his skin and the picture of fear on his face was shocking as he went to answer the door.

Both of them have threatened him with violence saying that if he doesn?t do what they say then they would happily beat and strangle him or get someone to give him the prison shower treatment. He has complained to the landlord but he does not seem to care one iota as ?inter-tenant relations are none of his concern as long as the rent is paid? and he cannot move because he is locked into a contract and he is reliant on housing benefit so getting housing is difficult anyway (he only has a job in a bar which offers very few hours).

I?m so scared on his behalf, I can?t take him in as I don?t have another room and it would probably make a mess of my housing arrangements , our dad has passed away and our mum threw him out at the behest of her soon to be new husband who hates him (and my mum says she?s happy to be free of the burden he placed on her). I feel like reporting the situation to the police but he is most insistent that I shouldn?t do this (I?m tempted to anyway). Although I?m so scared for him and really need advice on what I/he should do because up until today he?d hidden this all from me.

OP posts:
CaptainSweatPants · 11/08/2013 21:31

Why can't he sleep on your sofa?

YouTheCat · 11/08/2013 21:31

Could he ask the landlord if he has any other properties he could move into?

Original poster
needadvice23 · 11/08/2013 21:35

He can't live with me because it will affect my hb as he would be another adult in the household.

OP posts:
murasaki · 11/08/2013 21:40

Wondering, if only as I've seen it done, if they are making crack in the kitchen which is why he's not allowed in at set times.

Sounds horrible for him, I'd take him in at least as a visitor for a couple of weeks while he tries to sort something else out. How long is the contract?

AgentZigzag · 11/08/2013 21:42

I don't think it'd be right to go over his head and report it to the police, it'd be a betrayal of his trust, but you could help him find somewhere else, even temporarily,to live.

It sounds terrifying, why does he keep going back?

Someone I'm sure will be along to say what kinds of places there are to help out in a crisis with housing, like Shelter? (not sure whether that's in their remit).

I don't think the council could say anything about him kipping down if you made sure it was only for a couple of days, that's not him moving in is it?

murasaki · 11/08/2013 21:42

BY which I mean not that I have anything to do with that stuff, but a friend of mine got into some financial difficulties and allowed a couple of her dodgy mates (doesn't see them since moving, hurrah) in to use her kitchen in exchange for cash while I was there...

AgentZigzag · 11/08/2013 21:43

Would anybody enforce a contract where the tenant is being threatened and controlled like this?

They're hardly going to like that being banded about drawing attention to them.

RhondaJean · 11/08/2013 21:43

Have you checked about the effect on your housing benefit if he is getting HB himself?

Original poster
needadvice23 · 11/08/2013 21:45

Murasaki- Its a 9 month contract

AgentZigzag- He doesn't go back he lives there

OP posts:
VelvetSpoon · 11/08/2013 21:48

I'd let him stay on your sofa for a couple of weeks til he can find somewhere safer than his current lodgings. He needs to give notice to his landlord immediately and see if he can get released from any tenancy agreement. Shelter may be able to help with this.

He runs the risk otherwise of getting involved in some sort of turf war between gangs, or even arrested by the police if the house is being used for drug prep/ dealing.

I'm sure if its made clear that he's only staying with you temporarily due to threats of violence etc, your HB won't be affected.

AgentZigzag · 11/08/2013 21:50

I mean he must go out to the shops/pub/chippy whatever youngsters do these days I'd just want to keep on walking and never go back, just wondered what'd kept him there for 3 months.

Even if he feels pressured because of the threats, going back just gets him more.

I think (although I might feel different in the situation) I'd rather sleep on the streets than go back to such an oppressive atmosphere.

murasaki · 11/08/2013 21:51

SO 6 months to go. That's a fair amount to lose, but not at the risk of his safety.

I'd let him on the sofa for a fortnight, it shouldn't affect your HB if he's a visitor not living there, and the consequences of him staying where he is could be awful.

SO sorry, it sounds awful all round.

Kormachameleon · 11/08/2013 21:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Graceparkhill · 11/08/2013 21:54

There may be a housing charity which could help your brother . Could you give me a rough idea of where he stays and I will do some research ?

nannynewo · 11/08/2013 21:55

I know you say it may effect your HB but please for his own safety just let him sleep on your sofa until he gets himself sorted. Poor guy and I am so glad he has told you and it shows he can trust you. I really hope you all get it sorted. Flowers

Original poster
needadvice23 · 11/08/2013 21:56

The tenancy came about because my mum and her new partner told him when he turned 19 that as an adult he had 3 weeks to find another house as they no longer wanted him in their house.

OP posts:
Original poster
needadvice23 · 11/08/2013 21:59

He/we live in Manchester

OP posts:
Runningchick123 · 11/08/2013 22:01

The housing benefit on both your and your brothers part is insignificant in comparison to his safety. Imagine how awful you would feel if something serious happened to him, knowing that you could have prevented it by taking him in.
There is no doubt that he should sleep on your sofa for the next six months if necessary.

zoobaby · 11/08/2013 22:04

Help him get out and then make sure he doesn't move into another place with a similar set-up. He's much better off in a more conventional share house type scenario than these AWFUL single room rentals. Landlords of those types of places don't always have the best reputation or practices so they might be willing to let him go with loss of maybe 1 month rent.

Graceparkhill · 11/08/2013 22:04

Rightio - I will see what I can come up with!

foslady · 11/08/2013 22:05

Is your brother on income support or income based JSA? Look at this link, you might not be affected

www.manchester.gov.uk/info/500180/housing_benefit/4285/non-dependants-people_living_with_you_who_affect_your_housing_benefit_and_council_tax_benefit/3

zoobaby · 11/08/2013 22:07

I always found gumtree helpful during my sharehouse days. Please go with him to view potential new places.

Graceparkhill · 11/08/2013 22:10

www.mustardtree.org.uk/need-help/ and www.barnabus-manchester.org.uk/what_we_do.html
And www.streetsmart.org.uk/charities.php?iAreaID=17

Would all be good sources of confidential advice and support and hopefully accommodation. If he were my brother I would get him out first thing tomorrow. Walk away quietly and don't look back.

Original poster
needadvice23 · 11/08/2013 22:10

He's not on either as he has a job albeit on a zero hours contract

OP posts:
dreamingbohemian · 11/08/2013 22:11

He's under 25 and if he's not working more than 16 hours/week then your deduction may be minimal.

I would get advice from Shelter but I'd be inclined to say your brother should just stop paying rent. The landlord won't want a light shined on what's going on.

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