To be annoyed at mother in law leaving tablets out on kitchen table... and other things?!

[Jemster]

My mother in law has been staying for 5 nights, going home tomorrow. She doesn't come often as we have no spare room so she goes in ds's room and he sleeps in the sofa. That in itself is not ideal but we manage.

Thing is she does such annoying things I find it really hard to relax when she's here. She is restless and will never sit down and relax, she is always pottering around. She tidies up constantly but puts everything away in wrong place so I can't find anything. The other day I found the plastic chopping board in the oven, which I had turned on to pre-heat!!
Dh asked her why and she said well I don't know where things go. She is always cleaning and she makes me feel like my house is not clean enough!

Yesterday she threw half my lunch away as I had to leave the table to sort dd's nappy. I was cross that she hadn't even asked me if I'd finished which I hadn't!

Today was the final straw. I came in with washing to find three medication tablets of different sorts on our kitchen table!! She had gone upstairs and left them. My ds and dd were both playing nearby and could have picked them up or they could have rolled on the floor! I was livid and so upset and scared at what coukd have happened.
DH was cross and told her off but it's just not good enough, that could have been lethal.

I am rubbish with confrontation and don't know what to do but her ways are making me uncomfortable in my own home. What should I do?

Chopping board in the oven sounds weird, is she often forgetful?

To be honest, I would bite my tongue until tomorrow then never have her back.

Suelford ha ha if only! Thankfully it is only one or two times a year although she is due to come to us for xmas this year. I don't want to sound mean but I dread it as there is something weird about her, I mean who with any common sense would put a plastic chopping board in the oven?!!

According to dh she's always been like it so it's not her age.

The other stuff I would grin and bear for a quiet life but tablets left out is a different thing. She needs to be gently reminded that what she did was dangerous and to be more careful. Maybe if you tell her as well as your DH she might listen? Then keep an extra eye on her for the remainder of her visit in case she forgets something else.

Does she have other family or are you all she has?

I think you have to make some allowances as you do get out of the mindset of living with children and she sounds quite set in her ways. Personally I would overlook the bustling about, tidying up wrongly and even the chucking out your lunch (although I would be cross too!)

Having said that, you cannot have your children at risk. I would just keep a very close eye on her for the rest of her stay, let the dust settle and, if necessary, quietly set some ground rules for next time.

NannyOgg she has a daughter who she goes to stay with more often than us as they have a big house. We take it in turns to have her at xmas. I am worried about this year as she now sleeps in ds's room which is not what I want on xmas eve when santa normally comes to his room! Also I want him to have that space to play with his toys.
I hate not being able to relax in my own home at xmas.
I wonder what other people do who don't have a spare room?

My MIL did exactly the same thing and unfortunately I actually found my 2 year old daughter chewing it. I was absolutely furious to say the least. Luckily it was a vitamin tablet and not one of her other medications but the implication of what could have happened was terrifying. I gave her a roasting and told her that I'd she couldn't be responsible with them then she would need to keep them in the kitchen top cupboard where I could keep an eye on them.

A silly thing to do but so serious if its a dangerous medication.

My MIL is the same and I am always quite anxious when we visit. She's always keen to take the children out, but seems to have no awareness of safety. I moved the iron (switched on) off the FLOOR 3 times when we were last there (baby DS was 10 months and very mobile). Tablets are often in reach on the kitchen counters etc. She offered nut-allergic DD a peanut butter bagel last time. Fortunately BiL heard her!

So I'm hyper-vigilant. We visit maybe 3x per year, plus a holiday together (next week), and they visit us once or twice.

Regarding no spare room, we either use the living room and give visitors ours, or encourage use of nearby B&Bs...