Rather than finding strange particles or new planets ... to think that top sciencists

[ReallyTired]

... should concentrate... on the really difficult questions like ...

Why is like socks always repel?

The quantum process by which lone red sock appears in the white wash turning dh best shirt pink?

Where do missing socks go? (Other than red socks that appear in the middle of the white wash...)

Surely these gifted scientists can find the answer to such questions rather than smashing up quarks or creating virtual particles?

I know the answer to the last one.

They mutate into metal coat hangers and breed in wardrobes.

Also the teaspoons! Where do teaspoons go?!

could they invent a fabric which stays white and doesn't turn grey over time?

were do all the crumbs come from which are left on the counter tops? DH and the DC's swear it wasn't them.

they must be with all the forks...

I think your teaspoons are in my kitchen. I'm sure mine breed!

breed teenagers that are naturist tidy and voluntarily empty the dishwasher.

girl teens refrain from spending entire evenings snapping themselves on the I pod pulling duck faces!!

Also, where do the cake forks go? No, we are not posh, we just like little forks!!

YANBU

My husband is a scientist and I'm forever telling him that he's barking up the wrong tree. We don't need a process for the industrial recycling of solar panels. We need a process for the industrial manufacturing of calorie free chocolate cake.

O do not want to see naturist teenagers, however tidy.

Bad enough when DD comes in and demonstrates that if you squeeze your spare tyre just so, "it looks just a bum".

Aargh! "just like a bum".

I think your question would be better if you used the word "boffins"

I think I have a mini scientist in my house, he lives behind the toilet cloning empty toilet roll tubes. He may be using all my teaspoons in the process.

A sort of confused mini-Alchemist, Fuzzy? Turning tea spoons into toilet rolls... If only they were made of gold...

Please allow me to direct you to Lim et al (2005) The case of the disappearing teaspoons: a longitudinal cohort study of the displacement of teaspoons in an Australian research institute

Your teaspoons get chucked in the bin by absent minded yoghurt eaters, or is that just my house?

What about "why does everyone insist on using Windoze when it's such shite?"