To tell my friend (gently) that his dads possessions are not worth any money?

[AlpacaPicnic]

My dear friend lost his dad a year ago. Sad, but not unexpected. His dad lived in a rented flat and the landlord was very understanding about giving us time to clear the possessions, but it did need to be done quite quickly as the flat needed a complete refurb before he found new tenants.

A lot of the things were packed up and are being stored. My friend (df) is paying for this storage.

DF had to pay for the funeral, as his dad had no money or savings at all. He talked at the time about selling the possessions to recoup the money for the funeral - that might sound a bit mercenary but he is on NMW so does not have much money either.

The biggest problem is that his father was, to try and put it delicately, probably living with mental health issues and rarely left his flat. He had a dog and also smoked very heavily. As such, his possessions - mostly books, dvds and old computers - are all very grimy, covered in dog hairs and smell very very strongly of smoke.

I honestly don't think anything is going to sell. My friend seems to think he can sell the books and DVDs at car boot sales to recoup some of the £3000 he paid for the funeral. We went to one car boot and didn't even make back the money that it cost for the pitch. There were people there that were selling pristine, brand new looking hardback books for 50p to £1. Most of the books we had taken were paperbacks, broken spines, yellowed pages and just dirty looking.

He has just found out that the army benevolent fund, or a similar organisation - I'm not sure of the details, are going to reimburse him the money for the funeral because of his fathers military service.
Since the money is no longer the issue, should I, gently, try to tell him that i think he is wasting money, paying for storage for items that will not sell. I don't want to hurt his feelings but I also don't want to give him false hope...

Would the recycling of minerals argument work for him? Old tvs and computers are just blocking valuable resources, books could be pulped for recycled paper...

The smoke is probably the killer argument for the rest. Does your friend smoke?

Good luck.

An acquaintance tried to sell their baby things at the nct sale and was disappointed that not much sold. Her DC are teenagers.....people can tell it has been in the loft a decade plus and they just don't want it.

Actually it's probably that very many more books are published now. Neither authors or resellers make much. (I made 5x as much from my recent eBook than my academic monograph, for example).

That having been said, some villages around me are setting up informal book swaps in unused phone boxes and at stations, and this goes down very well. Dirty or smelly stock wouldn't cut the mustard here either though, I am afraid.

Help him take the bits to charity.

I never, ever buy new books unless I absolutely have to. There are still second hand book lovers out there!

Re giving the unsellable stuff to charity shops, quite a few of the larger organisations will do whole house clearances and have arrangements with recycling companies who will pay to take away knackered clothes, books, and general stuff. I volunteered at an Emmaus charity last year, and the stuff they took that wasn't really up to scratch still made them a little money, and also took it out of landfill, and off of the donators' hands.

It's odd this gap between stuff having 'no value', and the speed with which it goes on Freecycle, or if I leave it in the street. The answer is to find how to connect the things to the people who want them. There is the unfortunate majority that sniffs at secondhand, but there are still millions who will snap up bargains, who dont have a spare £100 for a new posh table. Look at the success of e*ay.

There is a market for a clearance company that will genuinely sell on, or give away, things still with use in them. I was appalled when they ditched a bed that had one of those raise-up motors in - because the cat had scratched the base. OK You can't give away mattresses, but that bed base was still 'alive' for years yet. Ditto the kitchen table, the chairs, the garden tools... and then they go to landfill to add to the problems there.

Pamish, I have sold terrific stuff on EBay and I am usually luckily to make more than £2 - £5. I don't know why - it used to be much more worth my while.

Books in good condition can still sell in some parts of the country. Our charity shops still seem happy to take them (I can easily think of a dozen charity shops with a book section), we have a book bin in the nearest recycling lot, and two specialist Oxfams one for book and one for music and music books. But all the stuff you see in there is clean and in good condition: I am sure they wouldn't want to let the rest of the stock down by placing it next to smelly, dirty stuff.

We have several 'clothes for cash' places near us.

One of them however, takes practically everything from bric a brac to books.

Do you have anything like that near you? I was pleasantly surprised to get £25 for some clothes I was getting rid of, some of which were bascially just rags as they were dh's work clothes.

You sound like a fantastic friend by the way, so although it might be difficult and awkward for a while he will know you've done it with his best intentions at heart.