To think a lot of people are still really ignorant about MH issues?

[TheMagicKeyCanFuckOff]

Generally (not just about recent threads, which I have been on, but generally as a build up from daily life) there seems to be so little awareness. People talking as if it wasn't a set of real illnesses (caused by chemical imbalances or similar- and affecting a physical part of you- your brain) or as if seeking help was easy and that, for example, depression might affect you mentally, but it is just as damaging as many physical illnesses, is incredibly isolating and so on. If I came down with an illness while on my work course and had to leave, they'd be sympathetic. Because I had a depression induced breakdown, I'm selfish and it's just stress

And my friend tells me that, what with some TV ads a bit ago and whatever, people are understanding about MH and mental illness MORE understanding, yes, but too many people seem to think MH is not a proper illness/can't understand why no one speaks out/whatever.

YANBU. I don't think it helps that mental health is still such a taboo subject, I know there is a campaign to get people talking about their mental health but I hope that people will listen and learn.

One thing which I have noticed is how many people make such assumptions about people with mental health problem and stereotype everyone with mental health problems as being the same.

YANBU, I was always embarrassed about having a breakdown and hated myself for not being "normal" mainly because of the attitudes of employers etc.

However, I have to say that I believe that only those who have suffered can truly understand how awful it all is. I think there should be much more openess about how common it is to actually suffer from MH problems.

YANBU. When a colleague was off work for months with a bad back, the senior staff organised a collection, sent flowers, kept in touch. When I was off with a relapse of bipolar depression the only contact I got was a rather threatening letter saying I had been reported to occupational health! On my return, no one even made mention of the fact that I had been off!

I don't think people who have never had MH problems realise how they can manifest themselves in such a physical way. For example they may think depression and anxiety is something experienced within your headspace and therefore the rest of your body should be able to function normally. They don't factor in the physical consequences - the panic attacks, the breathlessness, the absolute lack of energy and motivation, the debilitating feelings of being unsafe and so on.

Funnily enough, I had just the opposite experience at my workplace. Much less tolerance for absence from a physical injury! I supported a colleague through depression and stress. When she was in a better place I had an injury which meant I couldn't work or drive. Nothing back.
op yanbu. A lot of people are ignorant about a lot of things

However, I have to say that I believe that only those who have suffered can truly understand how awful it all is.

That could apply to any illness at all. The only difference is when someone has a physical illness people will ask questions (sometimes too many but thats a whole different matter), and want to provide support. When someone is mentally ill it is more likely that people will pull away from them out of some misplaced fear rather than providing much needed support.

Ninah, that sucks. You are right - there are a lot of ignorant people out there generally!

Agree.

Someone once said to me that now i have a child i 'don't have the luxury' of a breakdown again.

Yeah, cus it was so much fun the first time and i care about DS so little that im always trying to have another one

Ninah that sounds horrible. I think there are just a lot of horrible and ignorant people around

Sadly Yanbu. My own mum told me I had no reason to be depressed and to get over it :(
The way my depression manifested itself was complete inability to keep on top of everyday tasks, like general housework. My friend told me to stop making excuses for being lazy. I'm sure if I'd had a physical illness, or indeed asd like her dd, she wouldn't have said it.

Btw I'm not comparing depression and asd, I don't know enough about the latter to do so, but I know that this particular friends dd cant do certain things due to the asd, and IMO the depression had a very similar effect.

I have a friend with chronic pain who suffers terribly and has very little understanding given to her. Apparently because no one can see an injury/it is always with her, it's not there It's the same for mental illnesses. Always there, hidden inside you, until you can't bear the weight of it and you collapse under the strain.

I find it hard to be organised. And then I think- hey, I'm organised, my house is tidy, I've done everything I need to and it's great! And then I've forgotten something or something terrible happens. Everytime I do something good, it feels like something worse happens...

Another friend thinks it's stress. No it isn't. It's an imbalance of chemicals in the brain or whatever, it's not stress, it's not being self centred, it's an illness which ruins thousands of lives!

Yanbu. I was off sick for 2 months a couple of years ago because I was in such a terribly bad state. I lost 3 stone in under 6 months and my hair was falling out. I was running purely on adrenaline, being physically sick several times a day and felt like I was living on a tightly strung wire which was about to snap. When it finally did, I was found by my ex in such a state that he called my boss and the doctor and got me signed off work.

I'm back on form again now, but it has forever had a detrimental effect on my career. I have never been given any extra responsibilities in my job because I obviously can't cope and may snap again. It's simply not true.

My anxiety was not only work related, I have had depression a number of times in my life and it's the depression that causes me not to cope with work, not the other way round. I'm fine now. I'm on medication (which I equate to insulin for a diabetic) and perfectly able to cope. However, my copy book is now blotted. I am a loose cannon who is liable to break down and, therefore, a failure. There's no coming back from this.

I wish people understood. No one talks about when I was off sick, even though I bring it up sometimes. I'm not ashamed of it, but I think some of my colleagues think I should be.

I think that until healthy people stop describing themselves as 'a bit depressed today' or 'a bit OCD' etc then mental health issues will be minimised. There's also a perception that someone with for example PND should be a wreck in a corner not being able to function. I was diagnosed with PND after the birth of DS. Several family members didn't believe me as I could hold a normal conversation.

YANBU I am ashamed to say I was completely ignorant about mh and had my own misconceptions. It wasn't until last year when OH had a breakdown that I began to have understanding and empathy. I read as much as I could and did my best to fight for help for my OH, he wasn't strong enough to and negotiating MH services was a nightmare, I don't know how people do it when ill and on their own. I had good friends telling me to leave him as he was ruining my life, he was just ill, if he had cancer they wouldn't have said that.
More needs to be done to get it talked about and in the open.

Flobbadobs recently I saw quite a few 'this thread is a bit depressing' or 'this is a bit depressing' type things. I wanted to call people out on it, but was worried I'd sound a bit over the top. I think most people do point out people using phrases like a 'bit OCD' on MN, because they're referencing being an illness rather than using a word which seems to have crept into everyday use, but it's all too common in reality. It's like the r word and so on, little things which build up more stigma.

You're right.

Things are improving (slowly) but there's still a lot of stigma, misunderstanding and plain old misinformation attached to mental ill health.

To use a recent example, when Jacinta Saldanha committed suicide the threads were full of armchair experts commenting that she 'must have had' mental health issues'. The truth is, most people who commit suicide have no contact with MHPs.

Also the perception that people with certain mentally ilnesses (eg schizophrenia) are all violent/unstable and to be avoided. As anyone who has suffered mental ill health knows, you are far more likely to hurt yourself than someone else.

We still have a long way to go.

I think it should be called out TheMagicKey, I did used to use that expression, most people do I think through ignorance of what it actually means. I've seen words like 'nutter' and 'bonkers' being called out on threads here, rightly because it's classed as inappropriate.

Apologies for bizarre spelling and grammar there..hopefully the post still makes sense!

But on MN there is a lot of people who suffer depression have not understanding of how it can manifest in others. There is a constant flow of
"I had depression and didn't do that etc."

men suffer from depression very differently to women, they are less likely to seek help and more likely to express anger, where as women are less insular and willing to talk about problems etc

Apologies on the mobile and sentence doesn't make sense.
On MN there are a lot of people who suffer depression, who have no understanding of how depression manifests in others.

That's a good point bruffin and reminds me uncomfortably that I have probably said similar myself in the past.

Yes bruffin I think I talk very easily about my own experience and act as if everyone does. I think there is such a lack of awareness that it feels like you are all alone sometimes- or rather, you are what people see when they think 'depression' or 'bipolar' for example. Teens and children suffer depression in a very different way too- I think teenage depression also expresses a lot of anger too(from my experience of my depressed daughter). I guess maybe it would be better if people understood that everyone is different, including people with mental health disorders, but that these are certain ways people can behave. Since my DD1 was diagnosed, I have become more aware of how different people act, and try to see from other viewpoints, especially as I have made many friends- just from meeting people in the wait to go to counselling or at support groups, and everyone deals and suffers with depression differently. Before then, I felt very isolated and my experience of depression was built on just myself- stigmatising mental health disorders means sharing experiences is undoubtedly harder, I guess? If we remove the stigma, then we as sufferers should also be able to understand each other better too.

I think there's a real problem because men are statistically more likely to commit suicide and less likely to seek help. There are a variety of reasons, and overall acceptance- regardless of gender- would be the way forward, but also for people to look at the reasons why men might be less likely to seek help and why society acts like this. Mental health awareness is still so low

I think some people are horrible and some people are ignorant. I meant them separately. Some people know your feelings but don't care. Others don't and can't understand and that isn't their fault. I won't ever be able to truly understand what it's like to have, for example, autism, and am ignorant about a lot of things, but myintention is good, and I will do my best. However, the whole point of the campaign MN has, for example, is to make sure that people with good intentions can be made aware of how to act.

I think it's hard to watch someone with a mental illness. It's hard to understand what it's like to live with special needs, chronic pain or so on when you don't have it or experience of it yourself, although you can't try, you won't ever properly know. But the more awareness there is, the easier it will be for people who do have it to talk and share their emotions, and less ignorance, so overall people can find support, be able to talk about MH (whether as someone who has mental health issues, or as someone who doesn't) and so on.

I know what you mean about the whole not getting help thing. Sometimes with mental health issues, it's more like trying to walk off a broken leg when you don't know you have a broken leg, and think it's normal ifyswim. But everyone has different experiences.

I think there are limited chouces. Many mental health issues mean that the whole point of them is you think it's normal/think you don't need help, but equally, some people are going to be stubborn or frustrating with or without an illness, not just because of it.