to ignore her?

[Alliwantisaroomsomewhere]

A woman I was friends with years ago wants to come and stay with me and my family for a couple of nights. I have moved from the country where we met to another country which she will be visiting in a few months. I don't want to continue with the friendship because I don't particularly like her (she is loud, opinionated and overbearing). Dh does not like her at all - he has met her a couple of times.

She has sent me an fb message asking me for my number to contact me about her upcoming visit. I had removed her from fb to try to bring the friendship to an end! I want to just delete and ignore the message!

The way I see it is that if I dont want to be friends with her, I don't have to! But I feel guilty - am I being mean? AIBU to not want to continue the friendship and particularly in not wanting her to stay in my home for a few days??

You can be friends with who ever you want.

Just block her on FB and then she can't contact you at all.

You are definitely NBU

YANBU but you should message rather than ignore.

Be honest with her. You have nothing to lose and she will know she has to make other arrangements.

Thanks - thought I was going to be blasted for being horrible. To give an example of her way of thinking: She had previously told me that she has a friend in the country where I am who is at home all the time because she has a terminally ill daughter so she could stay with that friend whenever she wanted. Jayzuz! How is that for a bit of understanding and empathy.

Thanks. Glad to know IANBU but now I need to pluck up the courage to deal with it fairly.

Good luck OP, agreeing with those who say be honest with her-block her if she then gets shirty.

I don't blame you for feeling how you do, but I really do think a response of some kind is necessary. If handled correctly, you can end the friendship at the same time.

Message her and say that you feel that you've grown apart from her and that the friendship has run its course so it wouldn't be right for her to stay.

Be brief and courteous.

Also agree you can be friends with who you want, but I would send a message rather than ignoring.

"Hi, XXX. I feel that our friendship has probably runs its course and that we have grown apart, I'm afraid. It would not be fair on you for you to come and stay with us. I hope you have a good time visiting your family. Alliwant."

Something like that?? I know she is going to be upset and angry.

Just say sorry she cannot stay. You don't need to explain. She is likely to disappear again once she knows you cannot be of benefit to her.

"Hi, XX. Sorry, but I won't be able to have you come and stay at ours after all. Rgds Alliwant."

Yes, think that may be better!