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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Find a sitter or refuse to go?

4 replies

HooverFairy · 11/08/2013 10:19

AIBU? My friend's baby is due soon, in a conversation with friends she said she wanted no one else's child near her baby whilst it's a newborn. I was the only one with a child out of those particular friends although I know she has friends with older children.

She wants people to visit her and the baby when it's born, my DS will be 10 months. Do I find a sitter (I have lots of family who always want to spend time with him) and visit her or do I take offense and refuse to go until she 'allows' my DS near her baby? I'm inclined to tell her nicely that she should give me a ring when she's happy to take the baby out and DS and I will meet her somewhere. Its really annoyed me, I feel like I'm being a bit PFB about it but I know she is! This probably seems trivial but it's the most recent of a long line of irritating, usually judgy, statements she's been making lately.

She's met my DS loads of times, I couldn't get rid of her when he was a newborn.

Help!

OP posts:
pjmama · 11/08/2013 10:21

She's just being a bit newborn-neurotic, she'll get over it. I'd just humour her, don't take offence.

Branleuse · 11/08/2013 10:23

shes being ridiculous, but get a sitter anyway

WipsGlitter · 11/08/2013 10:23

You're both being a bit PFB!

Get a sitter the first time and then meet up all of you afterwards.

She's still in perfect pre child mode. Different kettle of fish once the baby comes - hopefully!!

Scruffey · 11/08/2013 10:25

I'd find a sitter. I'm sure I read in NHS literature that you should only have close family around small babies until they are 4 weeks old. That is, unless the child is not the first and you have to do school run/whatever and it's unavoidable.

When babies are that tiny, some things pose a serious risk to their health. Eg - your 10 mo might go to a baby group and be incubating chicken pox (this can be for 3 weeks and you could not know). If a newborn gets chicken pox, it can affect them for life.

Although the risks to her baby are small, she will be a new mum desperately trying to protect her baby. I think you should visit alone.

I think she is being cautious. Either live with it or don't be her friend. It's horrible to be worried about stuff and have other people take the piss out of you.

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