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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this child's parents should have been closely supervising him?

40 replies

thefuturesnotourstosee · 10/08/2013 17:37

We took ds (just 1) to soft play area today and let him play in the under 5 area. Tehre were a couple of brothers probably aged 8 and 4 who were playing roughly. At one point the younger one picked up ds and litereally dropped him on the floor. DS not hurt but a bit shocked. No parents in evidence so dp went over and asked them to leave DS alone please.

They swore at him then the older one pulled down his pants and flashed at him. DP just clamly told him to pull up his trousers which thankfully he did without arguent.

We were unable to find parents so I spoke to staff who said "oh yer he's got learning difficulties hes done it before we'll let his parents know he's done it again. Nothing else we can do"

Learning difficulties or not AIBU to think his parents should have been supervising him closely if he is known to be inclined to that sort of behaviour and the staff should have taken it seriously rather htna just casually dismissing it. I know parents need a rest especially when child has LDs but a soft play area is not really the place to take it :(

Dons fireproof jacket and awaits a flaming?

OP posts:
Pawprint · 10/08/2013 17:39

I would be peed off too. Where were his parents? It's not on to pick up a child and drop him or to flash at anyone.

OnceUponAThyme · 10/08/2013 17:40

YANBU about supervision as the boys behaviour was inappropriate.

however YABU about softplay not being ok for children with learning difficulties. its a place for children to play and learn, regardless of anything else.

MissMuesli · 10/08/2013 17:41

I'm abit on the fence, the parents definitely Gould have been watching if they know he is probe to acting like that, but were you supervising your ds closely if the other child was physically able to pick him up and drop him?

I love soft play but if its busy I do helicopter shadow my 2 year old, especially if I have let her play in the 4+ area

Original poster
thefuturesnotourstosee · 10/08/2013 17:42

I'm not saying its not a suitable place for children with LDs. I'm saying its an unsuitable place for children with that sort of known behaviour to be unsupervised. Sorry if I was unclear.

OP posts:
RhondaJean · 10/08/2013 17:42

Where does op say it's not for children with ld?

OnceUponAThyme · 10/08/2013 17:42

apologies, as I misread your last line, on mobile and cant check op.
ignore my last paragraph Thanks

Bruthastortoise · 10/08/2013 17:42

I think the OP was saying that if your child has SNs then soft play is not really the best

Morgause · 10/08/2013 17:43

YANBU in the least. Under 5 means under 5 and the staff should enforce the rule.

Also parents shouldn't be allowed to dump kids in play areas and wander off they should stay and look after them.

MissMuesli · 10/08/2013 17:45

Sorry OP, I missed that you were in the under 5 area.

Bruthastortoise · 10/08/2013 17:45

To leave them unsupervised.

And I just realised I cross posted with you thyme!

YANBU OP. My DN has HFA and while he's an absolute sweetheart he finds soft play overwhelming at times so needs a high level of supervision. I think most parents/family members of children with SNs are well aware of the level of supervision their particular child requires whatever age they may be.

kali110 · 10/08/2013 17:49

Where were the parents? When is it ok to leave your chikd alone in them?got no probs with kids with ld being there but i think all children should be supervised. What if soneobe just walked off with him?

Ilovegeorgeclooney · 10/08/2013 17:49

I think an 8yo with learning difficulties should be supervised and not in the under 5 area. If he is known to staff this is clearly a regular problem which begs the question why the safeguarding issues have not been picked up. After all unless you are standing next to your DC you cannot prevent them being picked up.

PrettyKitty1986 · 10/08/2013 17:50

My pet peeve is seeing older kids in the 'under 3/4/5' area at soft play.

They get no chances with me. If there are kids in the toddlers area that are clearly too old, I go straight to a staff member and ask for them to be removed.

It causes embarrassment for the poor staff member who normally ambles over and says in a too-jovial voice 'come on then...uh...anyone older than five out you come!'. It gets shitty stares (and once loud comments) from the parents of the little darlings who for some reason like to go in the baby area. But I've never been refused or told that the older kids can't be moved out.

PrettyKitty1986 · 10/08/2013 17:53

If I was told a too-old child had learning difficulties...I think I would struggle to contain my sarcasm in pointing out that that is all very well but it does not make the child under 5.

MammaTJ · 10/08/2013 18:28

If a child has SNs, generally you will find their parents do supervise more closely than they otherwise would. This is what the parents of these boys should have been doing.

formicadinosaur · 10/08/2013 18:44

Parents should have been supervising and the eldest was too old to be in that section.

OctopusPete8 · 10/08/2013 19:45

he was too big to be in the under 5,

on holiday 2 brothers 6/7/8 (posh boys too) were taking over a corner of the play area and saying my 3 year old couldn't take soft toys out of there. and were rough with him when he did and he cried.

That's the only time I've gone completely tiger mum marching around the play area going "WHERE ARE YOU'RE PARENTS!!WHO ARE THESE BOYS PARENTS,ARE YOU THE PARENTS?!!"

Like you OP , nowhere to be seen and when reporting to staff was told it had happened before.

It was funny one of them glared at me and went "I HATE TELL TALES!!" grin

IneedAsockamnesty · 10/08/2013 20:11

Of course they should have been supervised, but your child also should have been if a random strange child was able to pick up and drop her then her supervision was also lacking.

Figgygal · 10/08/2013 20:15

Christ sake where is she saying softplay not suitable for kids with SN children should be supervised in these places full stop that's all she's saying!!

BrianTheMole · 10/08/2013 20:26

How did he manage to get so close to your dc to pick him up?
But no the boy shouldn't have been in there if hes not under 5.

BrianTheMole · 10/08/2013 20:31

I know parents need a rest especially when child has LDs but a soft play area is not really the place to take it

Since when do you refer to a child as an it? Hmm

ilovesooty · 10/08/2013 20:32

She means "it" as "the rest" I think.

candycoatedwaterdrops · 10/08/2013 20:33

Unfortunately, (special needs and anything else aside) you cannot force other parents to supervise their children. The only option to avoid your child being hurt is to do as a PP said and shadow your own child all the time.

Floggingmolly · 10/08/2013 20:36

The staff were a bit rubbish, IMO. If they're aware of the boy's difficulties and the effect they have on his behaviour, they should insist on the parents being a lot more proactive than they were.
"We'll let them know" sounds suspiciously like when they show up.

Awomansworth · 10/08/2013 20:42

ilovesooty I read it as that too.

Some parents just can't be bothered to supervise their dc at soft play...