I know I was but this teenager provoked me

[Arabesque]

I live in an apartment with a creche underneath on the groundfloor. The have a covered walkway from the path to the playground which takes the form of a glass/perspex type roof which runs right underneath both my bedroom and my sittingroom window . Some of the more agile kids living around are able to get up onto the gate and swing themselves onto the roof which is, obviously, a huge security risk and invasion of privacy and I have, on several occasions, had to shout at them to get down. as the last thing I want is kids and teenagers getting into the habit of climbing up there. I'm there alone a lot of the time and would hate to feel anyone could access my bedroom or peer in at me or anthing like that.

Last night I saw a kid about to swing himself up onto the roof to get a football and told him to get down as (a) it was dangerous and he could fall through the roof and (b) he was trespassing. He refused to get down insisting that he wanted his ball back and it had cost 90 euro. I repeated it was dangerous and he would have to wait until Monday and ask the creche if they could use a ladder and retrieve it for him. He kept arguing and his friend, an overweight guy, started being really obnoxious and saying things like 'oh yaw, you're going to call the police are you? Like they're going to bother, we're not drug pushers' and 'there must be nothing interesting on telly for you to watch tonight is there'. I lost it and told him he'd be better off running around the green and he might lose a bit of weight. His friend laughed (no, not nice I agree) and the guy started basically asking me how I dared to say that, he was fourteen etc. He didn't seem upset or embarassed, just indignant.

Anyway I closed the window, heard the thinner guy getting up on the roof and getting his ball back but just ignored them as I felt I'd said enough. Of course, they made a big play of dancing around under my sitting room window waving the ball but I ignored them.

I couldn't sleep properly last night worrying about what I'd said but also still feeling annoyed with them. AIBU to feel bad but to also feel I was provoked a bit?

By the way, the ball had rolled into a corner of the roof that I wouldn't have been able to reach even with a sweeping brush. I would have had to climb out of the window and walk on the roof myself to reach it. Hence why I said they should ask the creche on Monday to use a ladder to retrieve it.

Oh behave Waxy. Are you seriously saying its okay for kids to trespass on a glass roof directly outside someone's windows anytime they want their ball back? I'm glad you don't live near me if that's your idea of neighbourly behaviour.

No I'm clearly not saying I think that's ok - I'm talking about this specific situation and how it was handled.

I lost it and told him he'd be better off running around the green and he might lose a bit of weight.

Am I the only one who had a bit of a snigger at this?

His friend laughed (no, not nice I agree) and the guy started basically asking me how I dared to say that, he was fourteen etc...

So it's OK for him to speak to you anyway he likes then?!

You didn't say anything that bad. You should have had a phone in your hand calling the police.

Yes Waxy, but you keep saying why didn't the OP just let them get up on the roof and retrieve the ball despite the OP explaining, several times, that she doesnt want people thinking the roof is fair game for anyone to climb onto and is it allows access to her apartment windows and that the roof is, in fact, dangerous for people to walk on.
The OP isn't saying she handled the situation perfectly but neither did the brats (and yes, they were brats). They should have got down immediately and waited until Monday to get the ball back. Tough if they wanted to get on with their game. The world doesn't revolve around their entertainment. Private property is private property. And dangerous activity is dangerous activity.
No doubt if they had fallen through the roof their parents would then be screaming for compensation and wondering why the lady in the flat allowed them to do something so dangerous.

Management company and creche need to sort out a potentially dangerous situation.

The teenagers shoukd have listened to reason and have been polite in the first place.

Against the grain, if the boy was fat, he was tld he was fat as a statement of fact and advised what would be good for him.

The attacks against the OP are political correctness gone mad. As a society we need to stop aking excuses for young people and being a bit more honest with them.

If you are fat, you need to deal with it.
If you are uncouth you need to deal with it.
If you are anti-social you need to deal with it.
If you have poor foundation skills you need to deal with them.

There might be reasons for all of the above but ultimately only the individuals can do something about them and change their behaviours whatever their cause. If parents aren't sorting out the young then it's time the village took to the helm.

I agree Married.
I am sick and tired of hearing about kids and their 'right' to play where they want, make as much noise as they like etc etc. Some parents would be better off teaching their children a little less about 'rights' and a lot more about 'consideration'.
It would do no harm if a few more rude brats were told a few home truths when they start bothering neighbours and then sneering and jeering when they're asked to jog off. If parents won't bring their kids into line and teach them a bit of manners, they can hardly start kicking off when fed up and annoyed neighbours do the job for them.

YANBU losing your ball and then getting grief from the person who's property you want to retrieve it from was a big part of my youth, and I'm sure loads of other people's. I agree that you need to get the creche to secure their roof, if only from their point of view, to avoid liability from accidents.

The overweight lad will have probably heard much worse - though it doesn't make it right. It's a shame you made a personal dig but they were being a bit cheeky.

Yabu to make such a personal dig.

I would not stand for kids climbing all over it for the sake of it but retrieving a ball as a one off is different.

You should have just let them get the ball and be gone.

But what if they had fallen through the roof Pretty?
Or if then next child 'needed' to get up on the roof because their kite was up there. And the next child 'needed' to get up there because they think their cat might have climbed up there and they want to check. We're not talking about a child hopping over a wall into someone's garden to retrieve their ball. We're talking about them climbing onto an insecure roof which also poses a serious security risk to the apartment owner if she doesn't nip this in the bud.

If he was very overweight he was likely to come crashing through your glass ceiling!

I remember being a child but i remember respecting whAt elders said and if they told me to stop doing something i would. So what if they couldnt play their game that would have been the least of their worries if they had fallen through the roof. They were told to leave it, they should have left it. Op's tone didnt have to be wrong just because the kids got confrontational, some kids now adays are just like that! You say no and they get nasty.

Thanks everyone. Am definitely going to email the management agents tomorrow and be calm but very firm about the situation. I will ask, if necessary, for my email to be forwarded to their legal department.

Roll on back to school time! The school holidays here in Ireland are much longer than in England. Some of the kids have been off since the beginning of June.