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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want DP to go to football on my weekend off

32 replies

Holly94 · 10/08/2013 12:59

I work full time in retail. I'm a supervisor for a high end fashion brand and my shifts fall so that I work 3 weekdays and both weekend days. Every so often I make sure I can get a weekend off as DP works Monday - Friday.
I'm 15 weeks pregnant with our first baby (not sure how relevant that is but don't want to drip feed later on)
He has a season ticket for his favourite football team and has followed them all his life.
I've got a rare weekend off next weekend but DP is telling me he's going to the football match and I can either stay at home or go with him. I don't really want to spend £20 on something I don't enjoy and I'm a bit annoyed as we never get weekends together, just evenings and at the minute I'm so knackered I'm asleep for 9 anyway. My commute also means I don't get home till 6.30 pm most evenings.
AIBU not to want him to go next weekend?

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 10/08/2013 13:18

He's not going to be away all weekend is he, surely?

LindyHemming · 10/08/2013 13:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

susiedaisy · 10/08/2013 13:23

If he's only gone for the afternoon then yabu, use those few hours to do something for yourself because you won't have the time once babe arrives, if he has gone for the whole two days then yanbu!

TidyDancer · 10/08/2013 13:27

Unless it's going to involve an overnight trip (does it?) then YABU.

Turniptwirl · 10/08/2013 13:28

Yabu if its just an afternoon. If its a whole boozy football weekend away then yanbu

Fairenuff · 10/08/2013 13:29

He has a season ticket. He has followed them all his life. I think his commitment came before your weekend off, sorry but YABU.

However, you might want to discuss arrangements for after the baby arrives so that he doesn't renew his season ticket unless you are happy for him to have all this time to himself when there is a small child to care for.

Time for yourself becomes very precious when the baby arrives so you should both enjoy it now. He can go to football, you can sleep and then you can spend the rest of the weekend together.

NatashaBee · 10/08/2013 13:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SantanaLopez · 10/08/2013 13:32

YABU. It's one afternoon. You could go out in the morning together, or the cinema afterwards.

ilovesooty · 10/08/2013 13:34

If it's an away match he might be away for most of the day but it's still not all weekend.

SantanaLopez · 10/08/2013 13:37

I might be wrong but I don't think season ticket holders get away matches? Is it not just home games?

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 10/08/2013 13:38

Yabu. Why don't you take the advantage of having some time to yourself? You could go for lunch together and then he could go to the match and you could have a coffee and a read, or a mooch around the shops or an art gallery or whatever, and then he could come and meet you.

cantspel · 10/08/2013 13:39

Season tickets just cover the home matches.

It is the start of the footie season so of course a life long supporter is going to want to go.

Why dont you go with him and enjoy the afternoon out?

Onesleeptillwembley · 10/08/2013 13:39

YABVVU. And precious. And unreasonable. How old are you? If it's a home game it's only a couple of hours. If its away its longer, but it's his lifelong hobby. You need to get a grip.

dreamingbohemian · 10/08/2013 13:44

I don't think you should give him a hard time about this weekend if it's just the one afternoon.

But unless my math is wrong, you'll be having the baby before the season is over. Have you talked about what he'll do during those last few months of the season? Is he expecting to go out every weekend with a newborn?

Viviennemary · 10/08/2013 13:45

YABU. If he has a season ticket then obviously he will want to go to the football match. If you don't want to go fair enough if you don't enjoy football but he does so he should go.

Onesleeptillwembley · 10/08/2013 13:47

A couple of hours a week when the baby is born (unless there are problems, obviously) isn't a problem. Why on earth would it be?

SantanaLopez · 10/08/2013 13:49

Have you seen the price of a season ticket? DH has one for his team, it's so expensive that he bloody well better go to every game he's paid for!

Longdistance · 10/08/2013 13:53

YABU.

My dh plays rugby every weekend, and tomorrow he's going whitewater rafting door mat, me, no, never

Guitargirl · 10/08/2013 13:53

Why is the choice only to stay at home or go with him? Can't you do something you enjoy? I hate to sound like the voice of doom that lots of people adopt when speaking with a first-time expectant parent but make the most of your free time now! Go to the cinema, out with friends - whatever - but make the most of YOUR time off.

ilovesooty · 10/08/2013 13:53

I was being a bit daft there - of course season tickets only cover home matches.So iit's a few hours : YABVU. And I don't see why it would be a problemaafter the baby's born either.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 10/08/2013 13:55

If he works full time, surely he'll be wanting a few hours on a Saturday to do something he enjoys, even after the baby is born? Providing the OP also gets a few hours a week to do something for herself, I really don't see that as an issue.

amigababy · 10/08/2013 14:06

dh 's life revolves round his football team, always had. Weekend, midweek, away matches, though not so much now. dd is teenage now. She doesn't like football but I have seen the dc 's of friends grow up into football fans too and go with their df 's.

It's part of your dh 's life. I would accept it or it could grow into an area of resentment and its not worth it.

we have had some great football memories in our house even though dd and I are fair weather fans, it's been good to share them over the years.

dreamingbohemian · 10/08/2013 14:17

I'm not saying him going out will automatically be a problem but they should probably chat about it. I love football myself so not being anti-football here! But if for example he currently leaves the house at 11 and is gone for 10 hours and comes home plastered, that would probably need some adjusting. If the baby or the OP have any health problems, that should come first, and the OP should get equal time off on the weekends. That's all I'm saying.

Sirzy · 10/08/2013 14:26

Why wouldn't be be able to go to the games when the baby was here?

I went to the rugby final in October had DS in the November and was back at the matches when the season started in February. All that changed was I decided to just do home games not home and away.

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts · 10/08/2013 14:32

YABU. I would give my left leg to have the house to myself for an afternoon! Bliss. I could watch crap telly, wearing just my pants and eating biscuits. Amazing.