To think we all take an OP's word as gospel when it may not be

[Ilovemyself]

Most of us ( myself included!) come on here and like to comment on people's discussions based on the OP's original post.

The problem is, we never hear the other side of the story.

The OP could be 100% right, but they could also be using the thread to boost their own view of being right. ( and go back to the person they are pissed off with and say that lots of people agree with them)

AIBU to think that people should not take the OP's word as gospel when some questions them?

I quite agree with you OP

It's always going to be onesided, isn't it?

I do think there's some reading between the lines to be done, and that's what makes AIBU interesting for me... someone posts about how awful and beastly their work colleagues, friends or a family member are, and they get a slew of 'poor you, you are a great person, these people are bitches/bastards'...

And then a few details creep out, or an attitude from the OP, and I think - mmm, actually, you sound like a bit of a nightmare....this is a VERY partial account of events.

But as I say, that's kind of intriguing. Human nature, I guess.

In the nicest possible way, most threads on here, if my best mate told me something like that, I wouldn't be taking it as 'gospel' and she wouldn't want me to. When people are upset they tell their side. It's a normal part of being human that most of us learn to take into account when we respond to someone.

Not sure why you'd suddenly stop doing that just because it's the net?

I have to say, you don't do it yourself OP, so when you say 'we', you obviously mean 'you'.

I am actually the Thought Police so I take nothing at face value.

You can ask OP questions etc. but it will always be one-sided. Unless you suggest we don't respond to any posts where the OP can't provide the noisy neighbour/bitchy friend/abusive husband/mental bride for questioning?!

What I mean LRD is that people are quick to defend people on here when there are other facts they either don't see or choose not to

And sorry. Your last sentence makes no sense to me.

Outraged. What I am saying is that people should be a bit more open minded rather than simply jumping to the "he is a bastard/she is a bitch" type of instant reply some posts get

Yeah, but it all comes out in the wash. Sometimes people defend because they see something others don't, sometimes people criticize. It's like a normal conversation, we don't all interpret the same way.

I'm not sure how to make my last sentence plainer - I just mean, you obviously don't actually mean that 'we' do this, you mean you don't do it but you think the rest of us are mugs.

LRD. No I don't mean the rest of you are mugs at all. I just think that people are quick to jump to a conclusion and that when other things come to light they either can't or won't change their mind.

Fair enough.

I think you have to respond as if the OP is genuine. Because that's all the information you have to go on after all. If they want to then go and say "Well look all these people on the internet agree with me" then good luck to them. I doubt many people would be that impressed by the opinion of a bunch of strangers on the internet.

If an OP is searching for advice on their own situation then it benefits them to be honest so that they get the most relevant advice.

Hi again yoni. I agree with you, but it is those that agree and then seem to be unable to see any other side once further details come out.

Perhaps it is just the threads I see, but there seems to be a lot of that

But you're doing it yourself.

You're on a thread saying the OP must be missing her rent and stigmatizing her LL (which you've no reason to think). And people explained you'd misunderstood the law and so misunderstood the significance of what was going on - I didn't see you go back and reassess.

I do think we all probably do the same sort of thing at times - it is hard to adjust perspectives.

But it happens in RL as well as on MN, it's just part of being human that we get fixed ideas at times.

I don't think a thread like this is going to help anyone, because it just comes across as if you're trollhunting, which I don't think is your intention.

I doubt many people on here actually believe that the Op's version of events is always 100% true and unbiased, it's just that the alternative "amateur sleuthing" is incredibly tedious and self congratulatory.

If you think something sounds fishy, but is innocuous - ignore it.
If you think something sounds fishy and potentially upsetting to forum users - report it.

I don't really know what you're talking about tbh. Is there an example you can give?

The only time I think people don't question the OP is on the relationships board. Over there OP is always right and always married to an awful person, but that's maybe for the best? On every other board OPs frequently get ripped apart.

Agree, tarka.

And it's often not deliberately 'fishy'. If you read someone saying they're terribly upset by something that seems minor, it could be they're deliberately misrepresenting things, of course, but more likely they've posted while upset and haven't worked out that it's a chain of things that's made them angry enough to post.

That happens all the time and surely we've all had RL mates do it too.

Hi LRD. I wasn't having a pop at the OP about the landlord - just saying that they are an easy target and he may have his reasons. I did actually post that this morning.

Didn't think you were having a pop, just explaining how easy it is to misunderstand and how hard to go back and say so (which isn't quite the same as saying you didn't mean to attack the OP, though I do see that's a nice thing to say too).

You should go on Digital Spy, they call "chinny reckon" on just about every post. Either that or "cool story bro". Does my tits in. Ultimately on anonymous forums, some people are going to post a load of self serving shit and only tell you "their" side of the story. You either engage with that or you don't. I'm glad HQ don't tolerate troll hunting and "chinny reckon" callers as it really disrupts the flow of the chat.

There have occasionally been posters who have recognised themselves in an op and said there was a lot of embellishment or downright lies going on to make the op look better

I don't know I'm getting really cheesed off with AIBU - it seems that tbe whole thing is packed full of threads that are either really suspect or people merely looking for affirmation for their actions then get all huffy when people tell them they're being unreasonable.

I need a new hobby - like writing my PhD.