AIBU to be upset about the way staff member quit... And the things she said?

[williaminajetfighter]

A new hire who had been in post just 5 months quit her job while I was on leave. She left right away leaving a barrage of complaints, complaining to other staff in my team and to HR and writing a really vitriolic email to me. She complained about what a bad and unorganised mgr I am/was, how disorganised the team was and on and on. Things that there is really no evidence of.

I'm upset as did so much to make her time with us work, giving her a great induction, sorting new computer, providing training etc. At no point did she say she was unhappy with me, the team or mgmt.

To be fair her performance wasn't great and she came across as quite neurotic; long term there may have been problems but I'm a but shocked at the way she 'lashed out' on leaving and tried to damage my reputation. Ive had to write a lengthy report for HR to redeem myself.

My DH says not too worry and that probably best that she's gone and to man up and be a manager! If she was that riled up but not able to communicate her concerns it would have caused problems in future anyway. I still feel hurt though. (I am however very hormonal and pg!)

Thoughts? Has this happened to others?

Thoughts are that you need a concrete overcoat to be a manager.

View the criticism dispassionately, don't take it personally. Was any of it justified? If yes, amend procedures. If no, water off a duck's back, she was unhinged and be glad to be rid of her. A debrief with the rest of the department to discuss this would be good, asking them if they have similar concerns, otherwise you might look like you're brushing it under the carpet.

How old is she ?

I'm not in a position of authourity at work, but I did go out of my way to give one colleague a lift to and from work, help her with her training esp. as her English wasn't good and it involves a lot of reading/ writing, and generally being friendly and helpful. She, frankly, took the p* and did as little work as possible, all of which I ignored until she started telling people lies about me and another colleague (one of which involved another man and my colleagues DH nearly left her over the rumour). I had strong words, not rude, not shouting, just "strong", no nonsense, "this has to stop, NOW" words. She resigned with a really nasty letter, naming me as the "bad guy" and generally bad-mouthing me. Funnily enough, one of her complaints was that "on that particular night, I left her to walk home alone", as I had offered her a lift (despite the disagreement as I wasn't comfortable with leaving her to walk) in the presence of several other staff members and it wasn't my responsibility to do so anyway this was ignored. In fact, the whole letter was ignored, as other staff and managers knew how much effort I had out into this member of staff. YANBU to feel hurt, but don't over estimate how much notice head office will take of it.

Did HR request that you acquit yourself in writing? Or did you just do it? I'd have only done it if requested tbh. Also - have you not been a manager for long? Only this kind of thing IS going to happen to you in a management role. It may well be that the person had unhinged tendencies - if it's a one off then you can surely put it down to that. If it happens again within a short time then you can start questioning yourself and writing letters to explain yourself IF asked to do so.

Over the fields she was in her late 30s. So not a child and a senior enough role.

Sadly she didn't get much done since starting.

Will go shopping for concrete overcoat today!

Malcolm I've been a manager for over 10 years managing teams of 20+. Normally I'm tougher than this but I think I'm just upset as I really bent over backwards for this individual. Plus I know I'm crazy hormonal at the moment and I cry watching TV commercials!

Hr were not especially concerned when I explained the situation but asked for a written report for her files just as standard.

Thx for your thoughts and advice.

I would be thankful that she's gone. As someone else said, she seems unhinged. Those concrete overcoats are terribly heavy and can weigh you down. I'd get a Titanium one, they cost a bit more but are much more stylish with give a greater degree of invincibility. Deep breath, chin up and carry on.

Thx over the fields. Am shopping for flower girl dresses today with my dd. will see what they got in titanium... Never too young!!