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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find 9yo DD incredibly irritating?

60 replies

Reality · 09/08/2013 18:02

Before I start, I have to say that a) she is on a wind up and knows she is being irritating and b) I'm posting here in order to distract myself so I can deal with her appropriately and not be horrible and shouty.

It occurs to me that most of what she does seems very innocuous and if I tried to describe what she's doing you would think I was horribly and the worst mum ever.

Let's give it a go.

She is flollopping. Throwing herself across furniture. Aasking the same questions over and over again no matter what the answer. She is huffing air out of her nose, and tapping her fingers on the floor/table.

She is currently 'playing' with her two year brother, using my throw from the sofa. Every so often she is looking at me, because she is waiting for me to react, because she knows the throw lives on the sofa and not the floor (or wrapped round the baby).

Now, she is lying on the floor with her legs up in the air. Again, shooting me looks daring me to tell her off.

Every now and then she warbles a line from a song. Oh, she's just shouted across the room to ds1 that he's chubby (wtf?).

Earlier, we were in the cinema and she kept sniffing. She tapped her headband on her 3d glasses until I took the headband away.

She's just walked into the kitchen and punched ds1. Obviously my tactic of ignoring her winding up is not working.

That fight is over and she's now sitting under the table screaming at ds1 that it's all his fault.

Dh is dealing with all this nonsense calmly by the way. I'm on the sofa ignoring so I don't lose my rag.

Anyone else have a 9yo like this or are we just special?

Sigh.

OP posts:
thebody · 09/08/2013 18:33

^ ^ yes this. tell her that you feel she has been doing far too much so needs earlier bed and to do a lot less going out in the day.😄. I like her style though

Spottypurse · 09/08/2013 18:34

Reality - DD couldn't take it either any attempt to wind her back up never ends well.

OutragedFromLeeds · 09/08/2013 18:35

DC1 is EXACTLY like this!

She's only 8.5 though....maybe she's G&T HmmGrin

Drives me feckin mental!

LindyHemming · 09/08/2013 18:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 09/08/2013 18:40

Well really Reality. You've been on MN for HOURS. She wants you to bond with her. Grin

(Says she happily scoffing pasta and MNting in a separate room to her darling DDs)

3birthdaybunnies · 09/08/2013 18:42

NOOOOOOOOooooooo it won't happen to my lovely happy, helpful cheerful 8 year old. Was just telling a friend at the park after she had provided 2hrs of children's activities for 7 3-6yr olds that every family should have one.

LindyHemming · 09/08/2013 18:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere · 09/08/2013 18:47

Hmmmmmm.... my DS will be 9 in October. I fear the rumblings may be starting from what I have read here.

casawasa · 09/08/2013 18:53

Reality - glad its not just me :) ds is a master at annoyingness! Luckily we are in Scotland so school starts next week.
Roll on school...

Fruitnut · 09/08/2013 18:59

My 11 year old was like this until recently. He used to flop down on the sofa, sigh, roll around the floor mumbling about how bored he was. I ignored him so he would track down older brother and torment and annoy him and I'd end up getting involved. Then he would ask me what he can do because he's bored. I'd suggest lots but he'd still moan. He's coming up for 12 and has chilled out a lot. It wasn't fun though, used to go for my nerves.

He's actually a sweet boy, he makes me cups of tea, washes up, tidies his room and I don't even ask. Grin he even had dinner made the other night when I got home from work!

wheredidiputit · 09/08/2013 19:05

I have a drama llama as well, along with a no it all nearly 6yr old and a 4 yr old boy.

This has been the longest summer holiday so far.

2rebecca · 09/08/2013 20:35

"You're bored, I know what you need, let's go for a long walk"
Either that or put music on or sing and cheerily busy yourself with stuff
Or do some craft type stuff or baking with her or play a video game with her.

DontCallMeBaby · 09/08/2013 20:56

DD is 9 ... last night my DB and SIL told me she's lovely, so polite,, a credit to me ... Well, yes. But she also drives me round the twist. Numerous weird physical tics (tho at least she's stopped winking now), worrying at things, putting stupid things in her mouth (prompting cries of "you are NOT a toddler!" from me), going on about the same stuff over and over again. All stuff that is insidiously annoying when you spend practically all your time with a child, but nothing that anyone else sympathises with. Grin

Mind you, I also currently have no idea where she is, which is a bit more serious ... having said that, do I hear her? Yes. Phew. All is forgiven.

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts · 09/08/2013 21:06

Oh. My. God.

You mean it's NOT just my 8.5yo ds who drives me potty??

Disclaimer - I love him to pieces and find him fascinating and wonderful at least as much as I find him infuriating.

It's the constant bickering with his younger brother (7yo) that gets me. He can't leave him alone! Doesn't matter what we're doing, he shoves, pinches, thumps, snarls at, is generally horrible to him and then insists that ds2 is the one provoking him!

Or "I'm booooooooored"; "I'm huuuuuuungryyy"; "my arm/leg/neck/foot huuuuuuurts" - all said in that terrible whiney drawl kids perfect.

AND the huffing if I ask him to do something! Ye gods, you'd think I'd asked him to relocate the house 3" to the left. He's actually worse than DH for this.

I can't believe it's not just us that experience this. I've been going round the bend thinking I was a horrible mother and my poor child would grow up remembering that I found him so irritating.

msshapelybottom · 09/08/2013 21:10

My 9yo DD is the same. Driving me nuts at times. It's either stroppy drama or regression to babyish behaviour. I was bewildered at the speed at which she could change from happy-go-lucky to tears and slamming doors until I realised it was a bit like me when I am PMS-ing.

She seems to need constant attention where before she would happily go off to her room to play or read if I suggested it. I am trying to be patient with her but sometimes the sheer cheek takes my breath away.

I suspect hormonal activity and I am afraid Grin

Reality · 09/08/2013 21:11

I know, I'm so glad I started this thread because honestly we seem to have so many problems with DD, but it seems that this particular stage is completely normal.

I can't tell you how glad I am that you all find your children really really annoying too...

OP posts:
NorfolkIngWay · 09/08/2013 21:12

Send her to bed ! ...

BOF · 09/08/2013 21:13

Send her to me for a wee holiday. I find her utterly charming Smile

MurielHeslopp · 09/08/2013 21:14

Mother of a 9yo DD here.

YANBU.
My God, the doing something naughty/annoying while looking at you THING waiting for a reaction. Just. WHY?

Fidgeting/ huffing/ wandering round the (very small) living room pointlessly.
Upsetting her younger sisters when she's in a strop.

Honestly, until the day I let her play on the PS3 24 hours a day she will never be a happy girl. Hmm

youarewinning · 09/08/2013 21:16

I'd say it's normal. My best friend has 2 DD's (8&9) - they are both the same but always have been and complete drama llamas over everything.
I'm cutting back time spent with them as my poor DS (8) never stands a chance. (he has suspected ASD and communication difficulties). He only has to dispute or disagree with something they say and they can make it look like he's suggested murder. Sad

Growlithe · 09/08/2013 21:20

Sounds exactly like my 9yo DD. With one exception. Mine knows the Cup Song. Angry

wrinklyraisin · 09/08/2013 21:29

My dsd is 9 and annoying as all hell at times. I think it's just the age. She's hyper one minute, stroppy the next, corrects us (even though she's wrong), demands junk food all the time, complains whenever we separate her from her bloody ds lite. It's a joy lol. But every now and then she's sweet and kind and lovely. So we haven't ebayed her yet.

ClaimedByMe · 09/08/2013 21:34

My dd is 10 and a half and showing no signs of leaving this "phase" if anything its getting worse...

candycoatedwaterdrops · 09/08/2013 21:39

I have a vivid memory of eavesdropping listening to my mum and my best friend's mum discussing us. "All 9 and 10 year olds are vile! More wine?"

Reality · 09/08/2013 22:24

BOF you have the knack with her. I am compared very unfavourably with you a lot, lately.

The cup song. Do. Not. Get. Me. Started. Murders. I hates it.

OP posts:
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