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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think I can study with 3 DCs?

52 replies

ruledbyheart · 09/08/2013 12:41

I have applied to do an access course with the open university its a great course that will open up the pathways to do a degree in a subject I am fasinated with.

But everyone around me in RL says I'm being ridiculous and won't be able to do it so I'm just throwing money away as I'll never complete it.

It's going to be tough the course starts in October so I will have a 6 week old baby and 3DCs under 6yrs old, I also plan on going back to work in November, however I will only be working one night a week outside the house and 3 nights from home (only a few hours).

2 of my DCs are going to be at school full time and DD3 will be at preschool 2.5 days a week, DP works evenings so can take the baby whilst I get my work done on the days the DCs are at school.

The course is completely distance learning and requires approx 9hrs of work a week.

AIBU to think this is doable and I'm not mad in doing it?

I don't want to be stuck at home for another 3 yrs doing part time work and being bored during the day counting the months till DC4 can go to preschool.

OP posts:
SummerRain · 11/08/2013 00:59

I started my ou degree when ds2 was 8 months old, I'll finish next year and it's gone brilliantly so far.

3 dcs, two of them SN.

It's totally manageable, you just have to want it enough to put the effort in. A supportive partner is a huge help too Smile

chattychattyboomba · 11/08/2013 01:03

I so not want to discourage you but I only have 1 DD (no childcare) and there is no way I would have time to study without sacrificing a lot.
I barely get 'me time' as it is (hence mums netting at 1am!)
But what DH always says to me- where there's a will, there's a way. If you want it enough, you will make t happen!

WestieMamma · 11/08/2013 01:20

I am in the third year of a part-time law degree with the OU. I had to stop studying this year because I had a baby. In the last couple of months of the pregnancy I fell further and further behind because I was just exhausted. I tried really hard to catch up but in the end deferred to next year as I felt it was taking too much away from my baby.

WestieMamma · 11/08/2013 01:20

Plus I'm still utterly exhausted.

MumnGran · 11/08/2013 01:58

Absolutely you can do it Smile but you do need to be determined, because it is hard work, The fact that you can do it at home means flexibility .... but also a lot of self discipline.
I have a friend who has just picked up a distinction on a 60 point level 3 (sciences) ......having had her baby half way through the course!!

OnTheBottomWithAWomensWeekly · 11/08/2013 02:33

Of course you can. Loads of us have done it before you. If you want it enough of course you can do it.

formicadinosaur · 11/08/2013 03:02

But your baby will only be 6 weeks old?! Could you delay the start for a year. Surely the most important thing iS bonding, recovering, trying to sleep, taking things easy and getting used to having a 4th child in the early days.

MumnGran · 11/08/2013 03:33

Surely the most important thing iS bonding, recovering, trying to sleep, taking things easy
Confused Studying doesn't preclude this. In any way.

raisah · 11/08/2013 09:15

I would love to do my masters but haven't managed to do it yet. I don't have family nearby and my dh works really long hours and my ds has complex needs. It would be too much pressure to take on and I might fail.

Good luck.

manateeinflorida · 11/08/2013 09:25

Totally doable and hope you enjoy it! Grin

Having said that, can I ask a very well intentioned question? These courses seem really popular lately for people with young children and I suppose I'm just wondering why - why don't people just do it before having children? Wouldn't it be easier then?

ubik · 11/08/2013 09:51

Of course it's easier without children - but surely you don't lose your ambition and desire to learn when you have children.

Op I've studied with 3 DC and a pt job - it's doable but tough sometimes. Go fir it - you can always defer of it's too much

SofiaVagueara · 11/08/2013 10:34

I rang up and had a chat with someone about my OU course on Friday. He was very good and advised me about the drop out rates. Apparently the real risk is doing 120 credits a year which has a 90% drop out rate, but it sounds like you are doing less than that, 60 or 30 which is much more manageable.

I did speak to an advisor once about taking the course as a parent and she said that parents tend to drop out less as they are more organized about their time and tend to plan what they are doing.

Incidentally I wouldn't do too many access modules because I think they are a bit of a rip off. They'll let you onto the actual degree without qualifications and the first year doesn't count towards your final mark so you can use that to ease you into study.

WilsonFrickett · 11/08/2013 11:14

I started OU before I had DS and when I was working ft manatee. OU is popular with parents who areas home with DCs and/or working pt because it's hugely flexible and designed round independent learning - very little face to face contact, no lectures, etc. So it fits in with parents' lives in a way traditional unis don't.

Speaking only for myself, I also became more ambitious once DS was here, so wanted to get more qualms.

All that said, while OU is changing because of fees at traditional unis, it's been my experience that a high percentage of students are retired people. Practically every course I've done, I've been the youngest person which never happens these days

Op, sofia's point about access courses are good. OU level one courses are designed to help you start study successfully and the points count towards your overall degree, even though there isn't usually an exam. I wouldn't recommend doing too many access courses, I think they are a bit of a rip off too.

WilsonFrickett · 11/08/2013 11:14

Qualms = quals. Stupid iPad.

peteypiranha · 11/08/2013 11:23

I had 10 days off post birth, and no extensions to any of my essays and got a 2.1 in my degree. It will be fine if you are organised.

kelda · 11/08/2013 11:32

I think having children focuses your mind and makes you more efficient. I did a degree with three children. I learnt how to study when they were playing or watching TV, or even sat on my lap.

SummerRain · 11/08/2013 12:20

Manatee, I had dd when I was 20, having dropped out of two colleges by that stage; a uni arts degree and a FE marketing course.

It took a few more years before I figured out what I actually wanted to do, by which point I had two more children.

I'll finish my degree next year, am on track for a first, and all three of my children will be in school ft, and I'm not planning more. I'll be able to get a job with minimal childcare costs and will be free to progress in my career with no breaks to have kids.

It's not traditional way, but it's not worse. For me it took having kids to realise what I wanted in life.

purplepippin · 11/08/2013 20:40

I am half way through an OU degree currently doing a level 2 60 credit module. I have 5 dc aged 2-10, it is hard but manageable. I am a sahm but plan to return to work when my dd starts school so I really enjoy having something other them home/ children to think and talk about.

Mendi · 11/08/2013 20:46

I did law school full time with 2 kids under age 5 as a single mum. Took some organisation but I did it and did well! Of course you can do it! Good luck.

LillethTheCat · 11/08/2013 20:55

I work full time (40 hours a week), have 3 DCs (8,5 and nearly 2) I am also studying part time. I have chosen to do this now as I didn't know I wanted to earlier. Mine isn't a degree, but it is a recognised qualification and I set aside 6 hours a week for studying and homework on top of the actual course 1 night a week. I manage it.

If you really want something you can do it.

MammaTJ · 11/08/2013 21:00

I have just completed an access course that required one day a week at college and at least the same hours again in independent study!

I did this with two young but school age DC, one of them had ADHD. I also work full time! If I can do it, so can you!

MammaTJ · 11/08/2013 21:01

Has, not had ADHD! I haven't found a miracle cure! Grin

GentlyGentlyOhDear · 11/08/2013 21:12

I had my dd halfway through my PhD and I found it much easier to work when she was under 6 months compared with her being 16months now! I don't think the newborn baby should be a reason to delay (but then again mine was an ok baby - slept in 4 hour blocks and I got lots done during her naps).

Original poster
ruledbyheart · 11/08/2013 21:49

Really good to hear all the positive stories, I know its not going to be easy but beats sitting around getting further and further away from opportunities for employment when the DCs are all at full time school, plus I'd go crazy.

OP posts:
hamab · 11/08/2013 22:03

I think it won't be easy. I only have one dc age 7. I work from home. I get very little work done, and only the type of work that requires no mental effort, when she's here. She isn't fully in bed i.e. not coming down and asking for things until around nine thirty - by which time I'm shattered. Maybe it would work if you had someone else to field them off when you are working.