to not want to go on a family camping trip with a 7 week old baby?

[peacefuleasyfeeling]

DH has his heart set on going on a family camping trip the week after next. DD2 will be just 7 weeks old (DD1 has recently turned 3). He has in mind a very gorgeous site about an hour and a half from here, very remote with no facilities apart from a stand-pipe and a few portaloos. Normally we love this place and would go at the drop of a hat, but this time, I just feel like it's going to be such a lot of hard work! Neither DD sleeps through the night. DD2 is breasfed which makes it easier inthis context, I suppose, but the thought of shivery night-feeds and nappy changes by the light of a flickering headtorch, trying to keep everyone quiet so as not to disturb fellow campers, makes my heart heavy. At 5 weeks DD2 usually gets covered in poo or sick at some point every day (and night) and I'm pretty sure she still will two weeks from now. Added to that the certainty that DD1, in the absence of blackout blinds, will be rising with the sun... I just think it'll be hard work and I really don't want to upset other campers by having noisy kids on the site. What do you think?

YANBU

YANBU. We went with a 3yr old and a 1yr old and it was hideous. We were exceptionally unlucky in some respects regarding weather and unexpected allergies but I wouldn't even think about it with a tiny baby.

Would he go with the older one and you could stay home?

YANBU.

I have a 6 month old and wouldn't even entertain that idea.

No. No. And, once more for good measure: NO!!

I agree op shouldn't have to do it if she doesn't want to but I don't actually buy some of the excuses given.

at 7 weeks none of mine needed anything except the boob and nappies. Provided you can take a huge bag of clean babygrows and nappies, then I am not sure why you need all these facilities? If it is handwashing that is the concern, then buy hand sanitiser, or a large bottle of water and antibacterial soap.

And because all mine were bf, there really wasn't any noise in the night. baby starts grizzling a bit as they wake to feed, I half asleep scoop them into bed and feed them. No crying. Which doesn't mean they were easy, you can be up all night feeding, or baby won't settle, they just want to lie on you, but it was very rarely noisy crying.

And as I fed half asleep, I never watched night time Tv while did it.

My only concern would be if my nether regions had healed, had stopped needing a daily soak, and if I was still producing loads of lochia. Which would have been a no go for dc1 and a yes for after dc 2 and 3.

Oh and i am not comfortable sleeping on airbeds, so i would insist on something really comfy to sleep on.

at the very idea

No way!

Let him go alone if he thinks it's such a great idea!

maybe that's what he wants

Honestly, has he got his head up his arse?! A three year old, camping, never mind you and a 7 week year old....

Can he take care of both of them alone even in the house? That's what I would get right first...

LTB... seriously LTB!!!! 😋

Ha, thanks everyone! I do think he's being a ninny, because he so wants it to be wonderful he completely expects that it will be, and yes, he has been countering my concerns with "Aw, don't worry, it'll be fine...", making me feel like a terrible spoilsport. Don't get me wrong, I'd love a re-run of previous years' camping delights, and I can see that there will probably be some lovely times, I just think I'll feel like running him through with a sharpened stick in the small hours... (Hang on, am I trying to justify myself to the posters in the YABU camp?!) DP's a great hands-on dad, and will be great with all manner of campcare (usually does most cooking, picnic making, tidying, beachbag packing, washing up etc) and entertaining DDs, but the finer arts of parenting are normally left to me to practise (rinsing out shitty clothes, wiping sand out of bums, bathing poo-lacquered newborn, and anything to do with basic personal hygiene or anything done at night, etc)... I clearly make it look effortlessly easy. Last year we spent weeks at this site, and it was heavenly (although whoever mentioned shade got me thinking; there is none, it's an open field and neither is there shade on the beach), we're used to ruffty-tuffty urchin camping, so I'm not a particularly tender flower, I just want a few basic comforts, such as not having to worry about pissing other campers off, DDs waking each other up in the night and deciding to be wide awake or having to go to bed really early when I put DDs to bed to make sure DD2 is safe, or incessantly checking on them. To paraphrase Marjorie, it'll be the same stuff but without the comforts of home. Well, thanks again for your support and suggestions for how to compromise or to make it easier.

Totally up to you, but we went when DS2 was this age - it was fine and much easier to keep a track on the children when they aren't mobile.

i would insist on decent shower / toilet facilities though.

I would maybe go on the condition that dh does all the nasty messy jobs that would be easy at home to deal with but so not fun when you only have a cold standpipe to help. So anything to do with all the actual shitty stuff you were talking about - cleaning off dd2 after a bad nappy, soaking and cleaning the shitty clothes etc etc

They're not fun jobs at the best of times but deal-able with when you are at home with hot water, washing machine, plenty of Ariel or Persil and so on. But in a back to basics camp site - sounds like a quick trip to a miserable holiday.

Depending on your dh's reaction, decide on whether to go. If he's eeuuwww I don't want to do that - then don't go, why should you have to suffer if he won't?

If he says he will do it, then get it signed and sealed in blood, and video him saying he will and signing the document so that when you need dd2 changing in the early hours of the morning and he rolls over in his campbed expecting you to get out and sort it as he is on holiday and doesn't want to think of anything other than happy camping delights, you will need to be able to remind him of his promise, as it it your holiday too

Send DH and DD1 for some daddy daughter time! At 3 she'll have so much fun! You and DD2 could visit for a day trip if its not too far away.

You need to put your foot down here, peace, this site is just not for you this year. And DON'T go. That site will be there next year. Tell him to find another site with more facilities or a caravan or he goes with DD alone this year. Might do him good, too, to be the one to do the non-'fun' stuff for once.

'Aw, it'll be fine.' 'NO, no it won't. I don't want to go to that site when the baby's this young. And I won't. Find us a caravan or you can take DD1 on your own.'

Over and over and over.

'Aw, it'll be fine,' is belittling and patronising. Don't fall for it.

'I would maybe go on the condition that dh does all the nasty messy jobs that would be easy at home to deal with but so not fun when you only have a cold standpipe to help.'

He won't. She'll wind up with a bag full of dirty clothes to wash on top of all the other crap stuff to do.

'No, it won't. That site isn't suitable for our situation this year. Find us a caravan or you take DD alone.' Repeat, repeat, repeat.

Well, here is what happened: a just-in-case hotel booking was made at a nearby hotel at DP's expense and we travelled in separate cars so I'd be able to leave at the drop of a hat. But, to my great surprise, it was FINE and we had a lovely time. Both DDs slept like logs all night, every night. DP did pull all the stops out, to be fair, and I didn't really lift a finger which was rather nice. Thanks again for your input, everyone.

Lovely ending, well done to both of you on a reasonable, peaceful solution with back-up compromises.

Very glad it all worked out okay for you :)

I'm baffled why anyone would choose to sleep in a tent when there was a hotel booked nearby, but I am glad you were happy with the outcome, OP.

YANBU don't do it