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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to visit BIL again?

40 replies

SauvignonBlanche · 08/08/2013 20:03

We're just back from a tour of ILs. We spent the first night at BILs and it's always hard work. I can't face them without a drink!
They are very frugal and abstemious, they are quite disapproving of other family members alcohol intake and can be quite Calvinist.
I sensibly stopped a a nearby shop and arrived with a bunch of flowers and a bottle of chilled Sauvignon Blanc.
SIL accepted the wine with thanks but I never saw it again -It was a long evening!
Shall I have a hp flask in my handbag next time, call into the pub on the way or refuse to go again! Hmm
Should add before the puritans chase me with pitchforksthat there are no religious sensitivities involved and I am not being entirely serious. Grin

OP posts:
mrspaddy · 09/08/2013 17:27

I love being offered a glass of wine when visiting.. yum!
Part of the reason I get on so well with MIL, is we sneak of to have a little Baileys/wine/hot toddy.
No one else gets offered (teetotal) .. ha ha

afromom · 09/08/2013 17:36

Well in that case YADNBU I would always offer something to drink! Just not very good at remembering the alcohol variety.

Grumpywino · 09/08/2013 17:42

How exceptionally rude not to offer guests a drink, teetotal or not, what appalling manners.

ajandjjmum · 09/08/2013 17:43

Take a bottle of squash next time!

I think it is extremely rude of them not to do everything they can to make you comfortable when you visit.

Maybe you would be better staying in a hotel next time, and invite them to join you for dinner.

melika · 09/08/2013 17:51

Hate, just hate that when you bring a nice bottle of what you like and they offer you shit like Lambrini. How rude. I once went to a neighbours and brought a bottle and had to ask for another glass of my own wine as it must of been the ONLY bottle in their house. Cheeky sods!!!!

YANBU.

ajandjjmum · 09/08/2013 17:59

Reminds me of some friend melika - we took a lovely bottle of red, and the DH stood arguing with his DW, saying no he wasn't going to open it, he was going to save it.

We had the Aldi special!!! Grin

Original poster
SauvignonBlanche · 09/08/2013 18:04

I'd have been glad of an Aldi special Wink

OP posts:
clam · 09/08/2013 18:38

We visited some wealthy friends in LA last year. We arrived at their fabulous hill-side mansion early evening and sat out in their wonderful gardens by the pool, overlooking Beverly Hills. "Would you like a drink?" they asked. "How lovely, yes please" we replied, trying not to show how much we were gagging for ice-cold beers or chilled wine.

They came out with a jug of iced water and glasses. That was it. All evening.

And it's not because they were teetotal. There were racks and racks of champagne and wine in a room off the kitchen, plus photos on FB of a party they'd had the week before where cocktails and all-sorts were clearly on view.

No idea why, therefore.

LindyHemming · 09/08/2013 18:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cookiemonster100 · 09/08/2013 18:51

YANBU!!

We have has this twice happened to us

  1. friends 30th birthday and we took a chilled bottle of champagne round to toast & they put it in the fridge and gave us a cup of tea.
  2. went to see family for dinner & again we took a chilled bottle of their favourite fizz only for them to give us one glass of wine each
LindyHemming · 09/08/2013 18:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

idiuntno57 · 09/08/2013 19:08

recent visit to the s-in laws we brought gifts of wine (couple of bottles) and snacks. After four hour evening drive we were famished and parched. Did we get anything? no, not a sausage. I am afraid I broke all social niceties and went into kitchen opened some of wine and nibbles.

They joined in.

Shrugged · 09/08/2013 19:46

My parents are teetotal, and they know absolutely nothing about alcohol, despite being hospitable people. They think drinking is something that happens in pubs, and that it consists of loads of big pints of stout, and ends with everyone falling down drunk.

I think my mother genuinely doesn't grasp that someone arriving after a long drive might want a casual glass of wine from the bottle they brought with them, rather than a cup of tea. Or she goes to the other extreme and produces an ancient bottle of whiskey that's been under the TV for ten years, and pours a big lemonade glass full for a visiting relative who's driving, because she has no idea about measures and thought pouring a finger or two 'looked mean'!

Original poster
SauvignonBlanche · 09/08/2013 21:11

I could forgive a teetotaller, but that's not BIL.

OP posts:
AaDB · 09/08/2013 21:33

I've done this. I've brought two lovely bottles to my sis when staying overnight. She brought out a single serving bottle for the two of us. I think I said wtf! ? ! she also talked about living on her family allowance. I was very concerned about her financial difficulties and offered help. She mentioned later that she paid off her mortgage and I got over it. I'm with Nigella, I never knowingly undercater...

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