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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To stop biting my tongue and have a proper rant at SMIL?

10 replies

RedlipsAndSlippers · 08/08/2013 08:34

So me and DP have been together for 8 years now, we have a four year old DD and a little boy due in October. When we called DP's Dad to say DD had got into the school we wanted he offered to buy her school uniform, since he lives a long way away and doesn't get to see her often, and she's his only grandchild.
We said thanks, that'd be lovely. So a little while later we call and let him know how much kitting her out will cost, he says no problem, he's got the money aside for her. So far so good, Grandads doing a nice thing.
The next day we get a call from SMIL saying there's no way they can pay for the uniform since she needs a new car.
Followed by her announcement on Facebook of the THREE holidays she's just booked herself!
Since then she's been treating us like we've done something aweful in accepting the help in the first place, when we didn't ask for it. DP has gone no contact, but I so badly want to tell her exactly what I think of her behaviour I can hardly hold it in!
Since I've known her she's cheated, lied, and been hugely aggressive and confrontational.
I never normally say a word to DPs family about their bad behaviour, which there has been a lot of, but would IBU to say something?
Sorry, that was longer than I thought!

OP posts:
thistlelicker · 08/08/2013 08:35

Accept the generosity and sod her!

vtechjazz · 08/08/2013 08:37

Buy the uniform then post cute pictures of dc's in them on Fb, when grandad see's he's missed his chance to part of this cuteness thanks to his bitch wife maybe HE will have a word.

fedupofnamechanging · 08/08/2013 08:37

ywnbu to say something if it would make you feel better, but I think there are some people you just can't reason with. I would he inclined to go for permanent non contact - she contributes nothing positive to your life, so refusing to engage on a permanent basis might be your best bet.

HoikyPoiky · 08/08/2013 08:39

She sounds awful but its probably best to keep quiet. You can't teach people like that anything. Try to avoid her and just deal with DFIL.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 08/08/2013 08:43

So has his dad withdrawn his kind offer then?
Tbh, all you can do is contact him directly and tell him its ok, you appreciate the thought and it's absolutely fine.
It makes you look great. Gracious.
He has chosen to go along with her. He could have said no, I offered and I'm doing it.

RedlipsAndSlippers · 08/08/2013 08:55

Fedup and Hoiky I think you're probably right, having a go would just give her more ammunition for future, but it's sooo tempting!
Hecsy We've heard nothing whatsoever from FIL since the first call from SMIL, and that includes DPs birthday recently. No card, no call, nothing :(
He lost his mum Christmas 2012, so his remaining family is really important to him, it's horrible to see him feeling so cast out.

OP posts:
ajandjjmum · 08/08/2013 09:00

What an utter bitch! All think the best you can do is make sure your DP knows that he has his own family who love him dearly, and I wouldn't be encouraging him to make phone or physical contact until they approach him to apologise.

But I would still send Birthday/Father's day cards to his Dad, just with a love from Redlips DP and family.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 08/08/2013 10:11

That's really sad. Have you tried calling him?

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 08/08/2013 10:16

Sorry, that sounds wrong. I meant have you tried getting in touch /is there any way to get in touch with him directly and bypass her, if she's trying to push you away?

quoteunquote · 08/08/2013 10:26

Do NOT give her the reaction she wants,

I would just get the uniform and not mention it again,

she is deeply threatened by other relationships, it is a power game, step away, leave her to it.

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