To feel sad about going back to work and not 'thankful' I have a job!

[MrsPercyPig]

I've been on ML since January and I'm going back to work in a few weeks. My ds will be 7 months, still so small and dependent on me.

Anyway it's a financial decision that is driving me back to work, I really enjoyed my job before I had my son and I know I will get back into it again. However when I express that I'm not looking forward to going back the general reaction is to be thankful I've got a job to go back to! My family won't indulge me at all with moaning! I really don't moan and go on and on about it but I do get hit with waves of sadness at having to leave my gorgeous little boy

He's with CM 2 days a week, my mum one day and dh 2 days so I'm sure his care will be fine.

We've bonded so much, I worry he will forget me when I'm at work. I'm thankful for my job but I've really enjoyed being at home with my son.

AIBU?

I know how you feel. I was dreading going back to work (all be it part time) when my DD was 8mo. Same as you, a financial must.

I only work 2 days so slightly different but I have to say I enjoy it now. I can't wait to finish the day and get back to my DD and make the most of the days we have together. You may feel the same way. I hope so.

I got lots of 'be grateful you still have a job' or 'at least you can work part time' which of course is true but it doesn't take away from the fact that you're leaving your LO and you are bound to feel sad.

My job is very busy, non stop so luckily I don't have a chance to miss my DD while at work.

He honestly won't forget you. It's entirely natural to feel this way, but I think once you actually do return to work, you will see that your baby is fine and hasn't forgotten you and then you will feel better about things. ML can be kind of like living in limbo - you are jot s sahp, but you are not in the workplace either and I think it can feel a bit unsettled.

I know at the moment it will seem awful having to leave but it will be ok when you back. I was in the same position last year but I'm happy back at work and I know my DD is being well looked after.

The thought of it is really worse than it actually is!

My DD (2) has actually started to tell me 'I'm going to stay with CM' when I arrive to pick her up which I should feel sad about but instead I see it as her being happy there and letting her grow and develop into her own independent little person.

Good luck and ignore the comments about being thankful.

I feel the same, op. DS is 20mo and I'll start back at work 1st October. It's a new job in the field I have worked in most of my adult life, but it's a shit timetable (5/6pm-10/10.15pm and Saturday mornings) for a shit wage. DS will be in nursery 9-1, I'll have a couple of hours with him then handover to DH who works from home - but won't be able to actually 'work' until DS goes to bed.
It's really depressing me and I wish I could see the good things: money for us, update my cv, work with lovely people including my bf... um, that's it.
I can't summon up any enthusiasm whatsoever.
I have been extremely fortunate to be a sahm for nearly two years. I know I'd be happier doing other work, but here in Spain unemployment is at about 25% so I should quit my moaning.

Arsebiscuits!

I think they are being quite mean not letting you have a moan and not being sympathetic about it. Sometimes I think people say those things to try and make you feel better about it when sometimes you just want them to acknowledge your pain!

My SIL has just gone back to work and even had to work on DNs 1st birthday, she still bursts into tears now and then when she gets to work bless her even though she really loves her job (it is a fabulous and exciting job). It is only momentary and she is fine (as is he) 99% of the time.

I think you will be fine especially as your DS will be with family for 3 days a week and I do think the thought of it will be worse.

I think most mums will have mixed feelings about working TBH, mine boys are 7 & 5 now and I still have moments when I think I wish I didn't work or had all the school hols off but actually then I think about the other things we get to do as a family which we wouldn't if I worked and I know its the right thing for us.

I do however love seeing them go off to school holiday club or activity camp etc and they love having days with their friends or family when I work so that helps, I am sure you will eventually feel the same when you see your DH having those days with him.

Oh I really feel for you I was so overwhelmed that I became a childminder, so I am probably no help at all. This was fuelled a lot by a lack of understanding about my reluctance to return and my concerns about leaving dd. I thought that I wouldn't cope with the lack of emotional understanding as I would be so sad about it.

Childminding was great and served its purpose. I have now given it up as dd is starting pre school soon. I didn't really have a career previously though so things may have been different if I had a great job with pay which made it worthwhile and great prospects.

I wish you luck - and it is ok to feel sad, I don't understand why people say what they do

I think you're entitled to feel both at once really!

You can still be glad you have a job but feel unhappy about going at the same time.

People should understand it's natural anxiety - i'm sure you'll be fine but it's a big adjustment and perfectly normal to feel the way you do!

I don't think there's many mums out there who don't feel sad at the thought of leaving their brand new baby to go back to work.

YANBU.

There was a woman, a lawyer, on Today this morning talking about the effect of having children on their careers. She had five children and with at least one had worked until she went into labour and was back at work two weeks later. She commented that not every woman was healthy enough to be able to do that. I don't really think "health" comes into it. I never had myself down as heavily into children and babies until I had my own. Motherhood is just one big guilt trip, but the most lovely experience. Yes, you'll miss your DS. No, he won't forget you. Yes, you're lucky to have a job to go back to. No, you shouldn't feel bad about not being thankful to have a job to go back to!

Of course YANBU.

I am in the lucky position to be a SAHM and (bar the last few days where I've been moaning about being ill and being on my own to look after DS) , I love it!

You are allowed to be sad that you have to leave your baby during the week. Your family should have more sympathy for you.

That said, I'm sure your baby will be fine without you during the day but will be really really happy to see you when you get home. You'll still be bonded and get loads of cuddles an it'll turn out fine