Family shit

[Themarriedwoman]

This may be long and a little disjointed.
My mother is buying a house with (for) my sister, and is also very preoccupied with her new grandchild. I feel quite shit about it but, last night I said how upset I was that she is buying a house for them, and also is totally preoccupied with the baby. It sounds like sour grapes doesn't it? I know she loves my kids too, but she hasn't made any effort at all really. She doesn't phone or visit (although she thinks she has!) My mum and my sister think they have been good at being in touch, but I know they haven't. I don't know why it bothers me so much, but I just don't know what to do. I have to let it go haven't I? It makes me so sad.

You sound reasonable to me. Why is your mum buying your sister a house?

you probably do have to let it go but not because you're wrong to feel what you feel. i think most people would feel hurt and maybe a mix of rejection, resentment, injustice and whatever else.

but there's nothing you can do about it if the reality is that your mother favours your sister and gives more in that direction.

was it always like this? i mean as children?

i grew up with favouritism and division and it is very hurtful.

I feel a bit like this sometimes. I don't have siblings but sometimes feel the effort my mum puts in is woeful. Again I'm sure she is in touch loads and makes lots of effort but if I don't call her it could literally be weeks between conversations.

I have just let it go and promised myself that the relationship I have with my DCs will be different!

my do try hard not to show favouritism but there is a bias towards my Sis, though this is a bias of Sis own making. throughout our lives she's always created drama requiring their full attention whilst I just got on with things. as adult Sis still creates drama and is constantly attempting to pull them away as I don't need them like she does

has something like that happened here? your DM may feel more needed by your dsis and may actually crave that herself. my dp can be a little guilty of not bothering much with us as they get swept up in Sis 'needs'