WIBU to throw away all of ds drawing/painting things if he draws on anything other than paper one more time.

[outnumberedbyblue]

Ds has got bloody form for drawing on things. He's 5

First time he scribbled all over his bedroom wall, he was 2 at the time so fair enough. Then he was 4 and I found he'd drawn on his chest of drawers. He got a telling off for this. Then he drew on the dining table, I blame myself for this as I'd put him there with felt tips while I was cooking and he'd gone a bit mad and over the paper, but it never came off.

His bedroom has now been all decorated and repainted, and I discovered he'd drawn just a little bit on his wall again, and on his bed! I admit I went mad and shouted and put all his colouring things on top of the wardrobe and had a big discussion about looking after things. He seemed sorry, but he said he liked his old room the way it was anyway.

We've since had a new dining table, he was doing crafts with his mister maker and I specifically said no paints out as the table cover wasn't on. He got paints out while I was upstairs and there is now paint on the new table which won't come off.

Then today I discover he's drawn on the foot of the sofa. I've told him off again and made him pick every toy up off the floor and tidy up. I asked him why he did it and his answer was that he thought I wouldn't know.

I'm fuming, I didn't go mad at him as I kept my cool but I told him he's in trouble for this and I need to have a think about what I'm going to do.

He KNOWS he shouldn't be doing this.

Do I let this last one go now as he's been spoken to again, he's gone to bed now and tomorrow's a new day?

I don't particuarly want to remove his colouring things as he never used to show much interest in drawing and since he started school has started really trying hard with colouring in and producing beautiful pictures. But there needs to be some consequences right?

Get a big waterproof cover for the table.Keep all his painting/colouring stuff where he has to ask you for it and keep an eye on him while he draws.has he a blackboard and chalks?Chalk is easier to get off.

Keep them out of reach when he's not using them. Simples. He can ask to use them and you'll say yes every time as long as its in an appropriate place that you choose.

You need to supervise every session he is doing drawing/painting and when he is done remove all the stuff to a safe place.

I think you'd be right to punish him again if he does it again but throwing all his drawings out is disproportionate. It's something that he's proud of. Throwing them out will send the message that you don't care about something he has achieved - not that he has been naughty.
Take away his colouring things for a day or remove another treat that he enjoys.

I would just put all of the drawing materials away somewhere he can't get to them at all and the rule is he can only use them under supervision, which means he has to ask and wait until somebody is free to supervise him.

In time if he is behaving sensibly with them then you could cautiously let him have, say, pencils out and then if he is behaving with those slowly loosen the hold on the others.

Give him pencils only

And what is wrong with 'going mad' at him?

No-one smacks kids anymore (fair enough) but now there's no 'going mad'?

Raise your voice and show him you're angry with him. Who knows, it might actually make him do as he's told.

The paints absolutely shouldnt have been accessible to him.

I have had the same issues with DD1 regarding pens though. They have been confiscated until further notice. And we didnt buy her a bedroom bin (that she asked for) because of the drawing on her desk and the teddies.

Not sure what the solution is really. Except to always be surpervising him when he has any pens or paint.

He simply cannot be trusted yet. I got dd a placemat to put under her drawing

Some children are okay to be trusted with access to paint, my 4 year old is okay, he understands the paint stays on the table, only I pour it out for him, and doesn't go anywhere else in the house. Pens and crayons are also downstairs only. I don't think it's anything groundbreaking I have done though, just his personality.

IMO if they show you they can't be trusted with something then the logical and fair consequence is that they don't get trusted with it any more. Obviously if he's going out of his way to find the stuff and wreak havoc with it that's a different issue and for me that's the kind of behaviour which would merit a straight up punishment (we do banning TV).

Thanks, that is what I'll do, they'll go away and he won't have them out unless he's supervised.

I only haven't done this as the colouring stuff is all in tidy pots on his desk, and it's something he's been going to say in the mornings when I'm getting ready for work or when I'm pottering about to occupy himself, but this will obviously have to change.

I think he's done these things a couple of times when he's gone to bed and hasn't gone straight to sleep, so boredom perhaps? No excuse really but I'm not in the mind of a 5 year old.

Worra I don't know if I should have gone mad at him, I 'try' not to shout, I don't smack even though sometimes I bloody feel like it. But he did get told in no uncertain terms, made to clean it off and the tv went off while he tidied every toy up. This parenting malarkey can be difficult.

He hasn't got a chalk board but it's a great idea, although he won't be getting it in the near future now.

This is why I only buy the crayola washable pens, and the only paints we have in the house are those crappy little pallette ones that you need to add water to.

I don't think it would be unreasonable to withdraw all access to pens/paints/craft materials and just give him coloured pencils for now.

Alternatively, get him an easel and let him paint outside in the garden? Also, we got this fab roll-on sticky backed blackboard stuff on Amazon quite cheaply, as I wanted a blackboard on the kitchen wall. Get some of that on his bedroom wall and let him chalk all over it?

Yoni I don't think he's immediately going for drawing all over stuff. I think he's starting out drawing properly, then getting bored and silly and doing this, but even so.

Perhaps I'm not doing enough stuff like this with him to show him.

I'll put the things away and make more effort to do drawing and crafts together.

I think it would be silly to throw out all his drawing stuff, but perhaps only allow it when you are there, and only whilst sat at the kitchen table or something, supervised. Please don't be one of those parents who go "I'll put all your toys in a bin bag and chuck out if you misbehave", it's so sad.

Dd2 does this (she's 4). I make her clean it up. She has to scrub the pen with wet wipes till its clean, or at least 5 mins if it won't come off. She hasn't done it for a few months now so hopefully the message has finally sunk in.

I don't think you have to "go mad" for them to understand what you mean. If I go mad at DS he is visibly frightened - no, that's not the way I want to be. Probably for less wet blankets sensitive flowers it's fine and a bit of a bollocking is constructive.

I also don't think you necessarily have to do the drawing/crafts together to be supervising him - you could easily be drinking tea and doing paperwork, cleaning/tidying in the same room (but seeing him stay sat on the chair not wandering off with pens), even mumsnetting! Doing crafts and drawing stuff together is nice but sometimes it's just a nice thing that they will do alone and you get some time off.