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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

...to put the children to bed very very early...

24 replies

twilight3 · 07/08/2013 18:53

after they have been utterly horrible to each, inexcusably rude to me and inexplicably disobedient all day long?

They're 5 and 7, and I had to work from home for 3-4 hours today. I had arranged their favourite sports activity for two hours, then my friend would pick them up along with hers, make them lunch, let them play altogether in her garden and everyone would be happy and I'd finish my work.

They begged and pleaded this morning not to go. I explained I couldn't play or do anything with them, lunch would be sandwiches and they'd have to entertain themselves. They said OK. I believed them because usually they're reasonable.

Oh, my, what a MISTAKE!!!! 3 hours work took 6 hours and they have been arguing and hitting each other aaaaall day long. It's so out of character for both of them, I mostly ignored it, but what I can't ignore is the "iiii'm sooooo bored". Well, you should have done what I suggested then, SHOULDN'T YOU?

The last straw was throwing soapy water in each others eyes, crying and then yelling at me that it's all my fault for keeping them together (they're adopted siblings, still have contact with their late mother's parents so know their story). That really upset me and I sent them to bed at 6 (normally it's 7.30. Very calmly, skipped bath, gave them a glass of milk, read them a story, told them they could read or play but they couldn't come out and complain. But they're crying and crying, I can still hear them in there crying about how they don't want to go to bed.

I don't' think IABU for this punishment, was I? They had options all day long and kept making the wrong choice.
I've managed to book them to a summer camp for tomorrow last moment, I'm in fact not working tomorrow and was going to take them out but I SOOOOO need this. There's always Friday for a day out....

Verdict? Most evil mother in the universe?

OP posts:
LifeIsSoDifferent · 07/08/2013 18:55

YANBU IMO

I think you need a big glass Wine

McNewPants2013 · 07/08/2013 18:56

Mine are in bed watching DVD. They are over tired hence the bad behaviour.

Sleepyhead33 · 07/08/2013 18:56

Definitely not bu! It sounds as if they need an early night and a good sleep.

Tomorrow should tire them out and you'll all have a lovely Friday! Fingers crossed for you.

Ponyo73 · 07/08/2013 18:58

YANBU. You sound kind and gave them options. Nice glass of wine is definitely needed.

twilight3 · 07/08/2013 19:08

Ladies, you have no idea how much better you make me feel... Wine definitely needed, I'll ask DH to pick some up on his way home.

I just couldn't believe what DD said, still sticks in my throat...hope this is not early onset "preteenhood"?

OP posts:
Ponyo73 · 07/08/2013 19:27

They can break your heart with their angry declarations but just keep your head. You are doing a great job. Have a lovely day off tomorrow, rest is crucial for sanity! I remember telling my mum, a saint, wishing that I had never been born and many other terrible things. My 12 year old is out at the park with friends and I'm hand wringing and trying not to reach for the bottle opener!

cacamilis · 07/08/2013 19:42

no you did the right thing. What they said is typical of kids who don't get their own way, it just hits more of a raw nerve with you due to the circumstances. They will be sorry tomorrow or later this evening but will repeat it some other day. take on notice and enjoy the wine.Smile

twilight3 · 07/08/2013 19:45

no point trying Ponyo, you'll lose that battle with the bottle opener Grin

What time do 12yos go to bed these days? My older ones are 17 and 18 and I've hardly seen them since schools broke. DD is off to uni in Sept and I was dreaming of all the nice things we would do together this summer before she vanished sigh
Thank goodness for the utility room, we still bump onto each other in there..
For some reason my first litter were fairly reasonable teens (compared to some of my friends' stories about their teens) and my little ones are already showing signs of rebellion and scare me...

OP posts:
twilight3 · 07/08/2013 19:46

you prob hit the nail on the head there cacamilis

OP posts:
tywysogesgymraeg · 07/08/2013 19:51

18.53pm isn't all that early for a 5 and 7 year old IMO.
Get them upstairs and crack open a vino.

BeaWheesht · 07/08/2013 19:55

I am putting mine to bed now, if I could have given them an earlier dinner and bed I would. They are almost 3 and 6 and they have moaned and whined and cried and fought all day long and I feel so bloody unappreciated I could cry.

Of course, ds says he has a sore tummy now so I'm doubting myself and feeling evil.

Yanbu but I'd go give them a cuddle.

lougle · 07/08/2013 19:57

In this house (DDs are 7, 5, 4) bed time is when we say 'bed time now.'

They can't tell the time yet (eldest has SN) long may that live.

Children need parents to take control and engineer sleep when necessary.

twilight3 · 07/08/2013 20:00

have just done that Bea, just about caught them awake... They were not upset anymore, but I could hear them cry and whimper from 6 all the way to 7... I can tell fake crying though..

We made up and they slept, dh on the way with wine and takeaway, I bloody well deserve it Grin

OP posts:
Ponyo73 · 07/08/2013 20:16

TWILIGHT3 , It's 8:15! For the love of god! I haven't heard for 2 hours! Can I start child location via Honda, comedy car? Always feel like a beep, beep, comedy car that you see at the circus!

Ponyo73 · 07/08/2013 20:31

Oop sorry everybody shall bow out quickly as I have 3 glasses of wine without me dinner and I should not enter into intellectual debate! Wooo, I need a blinkin dictionary for some debates. Is this a hi jackin offence offence? Still a bit wet behind the ears for mumsnet tho. Wish my R
L friends were as honest, or maye I would cry. Still don't know how to put emoticons! I think I have probably killed this post as I always seen to so! Night tout les mode and have agood sleep

twilight3 · 07/08/2013 20:33

LOL Ponyo, some mental image you gave me there...

What time was she supposed to be back?

OP posts:
twilight3 · 07/08/2013 20:33

dude you're drunk

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mummytowillow · 07/08/2013 20:36

My daughter is six and has no concept of time. Did you tell them they were going to bed early?

If I've had enough, I often put my daughter to bed at 6.15 and she thinks its normal bed time Wink

Next time don't tell them, just do it!

YoniRanger · 07/08/2013 20:39

I put DD (2) in bed at 5.30 yesterday because she was unspeakably awful.

It's not even school holidays for her either Grin

twilight3 · 07/08/2013 20:39

Ι hear you, but I wanted them to know that they it was their behaviour leading to an early bedtime -I told them that only very tired people behave this badly...

Plus DD can tell the time, not all the time but she knows on the clocks and halves.

OP posts:
twilight3 · 07/08/2013 20:40

I don't know where "&#921" came from...

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Ponyo73 · 07/08/2013 20:58

Ha ha! DD back! Yes, Should have waited till DD got home till I messaged. Wee bit squiffy! Okay, caught out. Shall never darken MN door

LittleMissGerardButlerfan · 07/08/2013 21:20

YANBU at all my 5 year old went to bed at 6pm as he was so tired and grumpy and my 7 year old not long after. I took them out today and all they did was play up.

Trouble is 7 year old has a digital clock in his bedroom so can tell the time!

I love then both but today they have really pushed me and I felt awful sending them to bed early but I don't feel so bad now!

Ponyo73 · 07/08/2013 21:31

Twilight3. Okay drunk now dude! I am so going to regret this in the morning! Why can' t I be one of the erudite, clever ones, that give their tuppence worth(. Not over 60). Ahh, meh, too sleep perchance to snore like a fekin pfffffffff. Nighty night, I mean nooooo harm,mmmmm

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