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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Chicken pox and newborn

28 replies

PeppaPigStinks · 06/08/2013 21:48

I am not sure if I am being precious newborn here!

DC2 is just over two weeks. We asked for space for at least the first week whichever friend has kindly done. They asked to visit on the weekend but DH and other DC1 was out. So they said how about one day this week. My dc1 has a stinking cold and baby is already sounding sniffly.

Friend has three kids. Dc3 had chicken pox last week. Spots scabbed over on the wed. She started with temp on the sat. Dc1 has had it. Dc2 has not.

They want to see us but I've said I am worried about their dc2 as she would be contagious now. Given, if I am correct it takes10-14 days for the virus to take hold.

Aibu? Or should I agree to meet tomorrow?

I totally realise you cannot wrap kids in cotton wool. But at the same time, there is a very strong possibility that her dd is likely to have caught it!

OP posts:
ilovecolinfirth · 06/08/2013 21:50

Go with your gut feeling. DC2 is so so young, why risk it at this stage? Congrats by the way. X

AmayaBuzzbee · 06/08/2013 21:53

Agree, no point risking it, and what's the rush anyway?

goldenlula · 06/08/2013 21:56

Incubation periods is 10 to 21 days, personally I wouldn't risk it with a new born. Congratulations by the way!

Original poster
PeppaPigStinks · 06/08/2013 22:00

To be honest I feel a bit pushed into agreeing to see them Angry

I think I just need to grow a pair and say I just don't want to risk it!

I totally get you can't wrap kids in cotton wool and they can get it from anywhere but knowing there is a higher risk of getting CP just seems irresponsible.

OP posts:
Original poster
PeppaPigStinks · 06/08/2013 22:00

Thank you!

OP posts:
babiesinslingseathair · 06/08/2013 22:05

Yanbu I lost a friend over this mind. I didn't want ds being exposed as he was tiny & couldn't be arsed to deal with a sad itchy 2 yo at the time either.

Turns out my so called friend and another mutual friend thought I was bvu.

FFWD a year and she threw an enormous bossy when mutual friend's ds gave her 3 month d ds a sniffle.

Again. Yanbu stand up for yourself & your baby. It is risky under 6 months.

goldenlula · 06/08/2013 22:08

No you can't wrap them up in cottonwool but when you know there is a risk, you are in a position to take precautions. I did when I was pregnant with ds2. Friends of ours had 3 children, there dc2 went down with cp, we kept clear of them until all three had had it and were clear as there was a chance that ds1 would get it at the time ds2 was being born.

greyhound8 · 06/08/2013 22:12

Yanbu. My 3wk old ds2 caught it from my 2.3yr old ds1 who came out in spots 5 days after we brought ds2 from hospital. It turned out to be a mild case but was a very worrying time as newborns can encounter severe complications from CP. Why risk it?

noblegiraffe · 06/08/2013 22:12

Can they leave the children at home if they want to see the baby? I would not expose my newborn to chicken pox, newborns are specifically listed as people you should avoid if you have it.

NHS says
Some children and adults are at special risk of serious problems if they catch chickenpox. They include:
pregnant women
newborn babies
people with a weakened immune system
These people should seek medical advice as soon as they are exposed to the chickenpox virus or they develop chickenpox symptoms.

CecilyP · 06/08/2013 22:14

I don't think you are being overcautious either. If her DC3 has just had it, it is very likely that her DC2 is about to get it, so I would stay clear until he either gets it and gets better or the incubation time is up and it has bypassed him completely.

babiesinslingseathair · 06/08/2013 22:20

Oh & my dc just had it, took the maximum bloody incubation time too, which meant I couldn't see my friend's new baby for 5 weeks! But I wouldn't have dreamed of it anyway.

Original poster
PeppaPigStinks · 06/08/2013 22:23

Argh/ it's their birthday party this weekend... So I won't take Dc2 but should i let dc1 go?Confused

OP posts:
greyhound8 · 06/08/2013 22:27

No no no!

BerylStreep · 06/08/2013 22:30

My DS got chickenpox when he was only 7 weeks old, and he was really, really poorly and was hospitalised. He got it so badly that the virus burned right through the top layer of his skin in places and ate away the cartilage in his ear. When I look at how badly he is scarred there are times I feel completely awful.

I was told that because I was breastfeeding him he would have my anti-bodies, but he got it anyway, and because he had undiagnosed neutropenia his immune system couldn't cope.

Personally, I wouldn't take the risk. Her DC2 could take up to 3 weeks to develop it (and it is so contagious that there is virtually no doubt that she will develop it).

babiesinslingseathair · 06/08/2013 22:31

No. They shouldn't be having a party if they're contagious really. Ffs. I hope the invitations state that the pox is part of the party favour? Anyone could be pregnant, early stage chemo etc. nobs.

BerylStreep · 06/08/2013 22:32

Has DC1 had chickenpox? If not, then NO don't go!

Use DC1's cold as an excuse.

theyoniwayisnorthwards · 06/08/2013 22:35

YANBU, it's incredibly contagious and it's dangerous for a newborn. I wouldn't have DC1 go to the party either. My DS1 is recently over the pox and if I had a time machine I'd go back and vaccinate him against it. Its horrible and I'm pretty sure he is scarred.

theyoniwayisnorthwards · 06/08/2013 22:36

And even if DC1 has had it there's a tiny chance of getting it again if I'm not mistaken?

goldenlula · 06/08/2013 22:37

No I wouldn't tbh.

Alisvolatpropiis · 06/08/2013 22:37

Erm?

No you are not being "precious newborn". They are being arseholes!

Stand your ground and refuse.

greyhound8 · 06/08/2013 22:38

Alis - couldn't agree more. They are being incredibly stupid and selfish re: the visit and holding the birthday party!

Original poster
PeppaPigStinks · 06/08/2013 22:41

Thank you! And my dc1 hasn't had it! I will decline the invite.

I don't think they realise that their DC2 is still possibly contagious. Especially as "they have shown no signs of being ill yet".

OP posts:
Original poster
PeppaPigStinks · 06/08/2013 22:41

Thank you! And my dc1 hasn't had it! I will decline the invite.

I don't think they realise that their DC2 is still possibly contagious. Especially as "they have shown no signs of being ill yet".

OP posts:
BrokenSunglasses · 06/08/2013 22:48

I wouldn't risk it with a newborn.

brightpinktoenails · 07/08/2013 00:27

Agree with other poster - these people sound like arseholes!

say no.

Congratulations on your new little one - don't let these people get you wound up and enjoy that lovely time with your lovely new little family

....idiots!