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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect DP to do a bit round the house?

25 replies

eleonorefrenchie · 06/08/2013 20:58

Hi there ladies,

Only my 2nd post here but just literally got in from work after a 12 hour shift (am a hotel receptionist) and DP only being part time finished work at lunchtime and I get in to find he hasn't done anything whatsoever and all the washing still needs to be done. He rang me before I got in to say he was meeting up with some old mates of his (I knew about this in advance but am really cross with him for not doing anything at all) and had already gone to the pub before I got in. Doing the washing is the only 'chore' he does usually. DD has also just had an accident in her knickers (toilet training atm - nightmare) and am supposed to be getting married in 4 weeks time as well as being 2 months pregnant with No. 2. Am so stressed! Any advice ladies? AIBU?

OP posts:
McNewPants2013 · 06/08/2013 21:00

Have you spoken to him about it.

LindyHemming · 06/08/2013 21:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
eleonorefrenchie · 06/08/2013 21:02

Well I have tried ringing him but have only been getting bloody voicemail. Typical:( Grr!

OP posts:
Lweji · 06/08/2013 21:04

Is this a one off or the norm?

If the norm, and you have talked to him, you might want to seriously consider cancelling the wedding.
It can only get worse after it and the new baby.

Original poster
eleonorefrenchie · 06/08/2013 21:04

Euphemia - she normally goes round ILs as MIL is very good looking after her but if she can't, DP's sister's friend is a registered childminder so we use her when we need to.

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 06/08/2013 21:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
eleonorefrenchie · 06/08/2013 21:06

Lweji - This is the second time something similar has happened but before we were both working full time (different shift patterns) so it was slightly different IYSWIM?

OP posts:
Snazzyenjoyingsummer · 06/08/2013 21:07

Short term advice - if you have any clean clothes left, do not do the washing. Leave it for him. If you are desperate do some only for yourself and your DD.

Long term - serious talk about renegotiating who does what.

Redlocks30 · 06/08/2013 21:08

Who was looking after DD this afternoon? What about when he left to go to the pub? I assumed the pair of you had mo kids until you mentioned her!

Original poster
eleonorefrenchie · 06/08/2013 21:09

Yes Euphemia - that's what makes me even more annoyed!

OP posts:
justmyview · 06/08/2013 21:10

So who was looking after DD1 while you were at work?

Original poster
eleonorefrenchie · 06/08/2013 21:11

Redlock - She was with MIL and so went and picked her up. I knew about the pub thing today but the fact he hasn't done a single thing really annoys me as this washing has really built up now!

OP posts:
Lweji · 06/08/2013 21:12

Yes, put your foot down firmly now, before he gets used to it.

Make sure he knows he's expected to contribute during his time at home.

You should have a similar amount of free time.

Original poster
eleonorefrenchie · 06/08/2013 21:19

Justmyview - MIL was.
Snazzyenjoyingsummer - I will but some things are essential for tomorrow!!!

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 06/08/2013 21:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
eleonorefrenchie · 06/08/2013 21:21

Lweji - Well yeah but he works part-time at the moment as his hours have been cut back so gets more free time than me but that's what I expect him to help more around the house to compensate!

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 06/08/2013 21:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lweji · 06/08/2013 21:23

I meant that if he's not working away from the home in the afternoon, then he should be working at home, thus giving both of you equal free time.
He's had a free afternoon, plus free evening.
You have had no free time at all today.

Original poster
eleonorefrenchie · 06/08/2013 21:26

Euphemia - At least I perceive he does. Still no reply either by text or otherwise to my voicemail though...Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
eleonorefrenchie · 06/08/2013 21:30

I completely agree Lweji - am livid but you ladies are keeping me sane!

OP posts:
Original poster
eleonorefrenchie · 06/08/2013 21:30

I completely agree Lweji - am livid but you ladies are keeping me sane!

OP posts:
Original poster
eleonorefrenchie · 06/08/2013 21:33

Oops sorry iPhone app seems to be playing up. Have put DD in the bath as was trying to ring DP when she ran off and hid my (dirty and yet to be washed) knickers in the back of DP and my wardrobeHmm Not a good day!!

OP posts:
formicadinosaur · 06/08/2013 21:35

He should be doing the majority of the house work if he is at home on his own.

formicadinosaur · 06/08/2013 21:35

I think you need to iron this out before you get married.

Original poster
eleonorefrenchie · 06/08/2013 21:38

Formicadinosaur - I am not doing his washing at all so will see how he reacts to that...

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