Back story:
Almost a decade ago, when my oldest child was a baby, dh and I had a falling out with my now BIL. It was after my SIL (Dh's and BIL's sister) asked to have Dd1 for the day and I refused the request. I had my reasons! Dh then got an earful from BIL, and his gf, and consequently we had a massive row. I refused to back down but did invite SIL to visit dd at our home, which she declined.
It blew up and up and eventually, after my father got involved after a series of particularly unpleasant text messages, a truce was called between myself and SIL. We now get on fine and having had children herself in the years since she understands much more where I was coming from in the beginning.
BiL on the other hand has since fallen out with every member of the family! Including SIL. A few months after the original argument (and the week after dh and I set a date for our wedding) BIL got engaged and having not spoken to us for a good 3 months demanded that our daughter be a bridesmaid. The month before our own wedding. I declined the demand and stood my ground. This was seen as me being difficult (even though his lovely bride sat in my front room telling me how much she despised me and that it was her 'right' to have dd as a bridesmaid).
When the wedding invites went out we didn't get one, until FIL told BIL that he would not attend if he didn't invite my dh. We then got an invite to dh and dd. not that I was bothered.
There were other problems, they told a mutual friend that I was easy and he should come see me if he fancied a good time, so that they could split us up. They told people they didn't believe dd was my Dh's. they even accused me of having an affair with Dh's best friend. Eventually I snapped. It was making me ill!
Not long after their wedding (which dh attended without dd), they cut all contact with my PIL after makin my MIL choose between them and dd. it broke her heart. She had always been close to BIL.
Am I mad for wanting to try again to reconnect with him? I feel guilty, even though I don't think I was unreasonable at the time and dh, PIL, and SIL all tell me it wasn't my fault. However we now have 4dc and he has missed out on their lives. He doesn't have children, only two grown up stepsons and two step grandsons. He is dd1s godfather (and ironically the only god parent we didn't wrangle over!) and before the Gf got her claws in he was my favourite member of Dh's family! He was good to dd1 and it broke my heart when he walked away from her.
I have tried, over the years, to build bridges. I last wrote to him five years ago and got an angry reply. But I can't get him out of my mind. I still want him to know our children. I still want to make friends. A lot of time has passed. Dd1 is asking about her godfather. Wwyd?