to think we were really crap with newborn?

[wonderingifiam2013]

We had a new-born that cried a lot, most nights, most days you get the picture

We finally got through the fog at around 12 weeks but I'd say we struggled up until 6 months +

DC is now a toddler and still wakes up for around 10-15 minutes most nights and is highly active in the daytime - but we (DH & I) seem to cope much better now.

A few friends were talking about when is the best time to take a baby on a long haul flight - to which the consensus was that 5 months would be perfect - sleep, feed, sleep feed etc, and then European flights after they can crawl/walk

I was silently horrified to hear this advice being given to a pregnant friend of mine as I know if we'd have taken our 5 month old on a 10 hour flight it would most likely have ended in divorce

Is my horror due to our inability to cope with a new-born? Having a high maintenance new-born? Or were we just crap at the tiny baby stage?

Thoughts?

(P.S I kept my nose out and didn't offer any advice either way as I felt I was in the wrong/minority)

I think it just depends on your baby tbh. Ds cried/fed all day at that age but dd would have been a breeze.

Don't think you're crap with newborns, some are a lot easier than others

Good luck to them. I wouldn't take a 5mo on a long haul flight. In fact I wouldn't take my 2.5yo on a long haul flight. Or a European flight. But I know people who have (and survived!)

We were pretty crap at newborn too, I can only promise myself No2 will be better. DP isn't ready for No2 yet

Just taken DS2 (6 month old) on a 5 hour flight (family abroad). Not the most fun I've ever had especially with 2 hour delay. I think this age is too old to sleep feed sleep feed. They also want to play, wriggle and explore (and scream with tiredness). We took DS1 at 4 weeks on a 45 minute flight and that was fine just slept the entire time. 45 minutes is of course nothing but newborns are easier IMO. Entirely depends on child tho.

I think people forget what it's like! DS is 4.5 months and it is daft to suggest he just eats and sleeps! He needs to be entertained yet is too young to entertain himself or play with a toy for more than a minute or two!

My son was the same. He barely slept for more than half an hour at a time until he was three months old and was never a good settler. He's eleven years old now, and still not always good at going to sleep.

As far as flying long distance with a newborn - I take my hat off to anyone who can/has to cope with this, but I would have found it very stressful.

All babies are different. I could take ds1 anywhere and he jsut fed and slept. Dd on the other hand .

Agree likely to be different baby, different needs.
I happily took DC1 everywhere including long haul flights as a baby. She was a breeze. I was sure it was because we were such natural and relaxed parents.
DC2 proved I knew nothing. I couldn't take him out of the house let alone on a plane. I nearly went insane and am just grateful he was DC2 because I wouldn't have had the confidence to have another if he'd been my first.
You weren't hopeless with your newborn. You just got one of the trickier ones.

In think it depends on the baby. Dh and I still look at parents whose babies just sit calmly in their prams/car seats cooing at people or just staring at the ceiling instead of screaming for attention the instant they open their eyes

We thought we were really crap parents for a while but I think it's just that babies have different temperaments.

I remember thinking that absolutely nothing I did made any difference at all to dd1 in her first three months. I couldn't get her to sleep, wake, eat at any time other than when she wanted. Once in an attempt to wake her up, I resorted to totally undressing her and putting her outside in her bouncy chair in the middle of a storm. She raised an eyelid. I quickly whipped her back inside whereupon she went immediately back to sleep for another couple of hours. Routines were unthinkable - she just did her own thing. She was however 3 weeks early and I don't know if this made a difference. DS vomitted night and day for the first 3 months - also pretty hideous. He was also 3 weeks early. DD2, on the other hand, was amenable from pretty much day 1 - slept and ate "like a baby" (haha). I did very little differently except keeping my legs crossed until virtually her due date.

All babies are different.

I found the first 8 months of my ds's life really hard. But we did 2 long haul 8-9 hour flights (to the U.S.) when he was 5-6 months old and it was fine. He slept, breastfed, played etc. The thing I found hard is that one of us had to have him on our laps the whole time and the changing facilities were almost non-existent. I was still in a blurry fog and came close to standing up just before the flight left and asking to get off. The stewardesses all seemed to hate babies but some of the passengers were lovely. I swore I wouldn't fly again until he was old enough to have his own seat and we didn't.

depends on the baby. ds would have been a nightmare, dd a dream.

not you being crap!