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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that MIL is taking the piss ?

70 replies

nerfbullet · 05/08/2013 17:14

My 14 year old son has readily agreed to help his Gran/my MIL to do some grafting in her very big garden for payment. He is keen to do this since £5 pocket money doesn't go far and doesn't stretch to the odd cinema / pizza hut trip out. He found out today on his second stint, that she is giving him £2 per hour. She said I think the minimum wage is about £6 so I think that £2 is about right. Of course he didn't know what to say so politely said that's fine. Any thoughts on this, I personally think she is taking the piss! She is certainly not short of a bob or thousand ...

OP posts:

HollyBerryBush · 05/08/2013 20:11

But to slave away at boring, repetitive, manual labour for their rich gran?

Wealth of gran shouldnt coe into it.

I really am sat on the fence for this one - my 18yo because he is a kindly soul spends all day doing a neighbours garden fora packet of fags as a token. Some might call that exploitation, but he would rather help someone than screw them over.

Everyone always wants something in this world.

Redlocks30 · 05/08/2013 20:11

To those that think £5 a week for a 14 year old is stingy, can I ask what you give?

I have a nearly 12 year old and am never sure how much is ok-I think he'll spend it all on sweets! Actually, that's what I used to do with mine-is that a bad thing?!

musicposy · 05/08/2013 20:14

I think £2 is a bit mean but £5 would be way too generous, given that DD1 and lots of her 17yo friends are working for £3.72 an hour. I would think £3 to £3.50 would be reasonable.
DD2 is 14 in a week or two and does lots of stuff for my mum for free. I think demanding £5 an hour when an employer would not be paying that would be mercenary in the extreme.

MrsBungle · 05/08/2013 20:18

I think £2 is stingy but I also think £5 seems quite a lot.

Also, I think £5 pocket money is stingy! When I was 14 I hit £12 a week and I had to do the ironing and make step dads flask up in the morning (have only just realised they were obviously coming up with jobs for me re the flask thing, I only had to boil the kettle and put a tea bag in!)

I think £3 an hour is about right.

phantomnamechanger · 05/08/2013 20:25

I also think £3 would be fairer really. If he's doing 6 hours a week that's still 50% more than she was suggesting without being a huge amount for either her to afford or him to waste!

£5 pocket money and whether OP is stingy, well we cant judge that as we do not know what he has to buy out of that, nor do we know the OPs financial details - it may be literally all they can afford. Or they could afford more but choose to be careful about what messages they are giving their kid about money. My 13yo only gets £3 at the moment, though we do give her extra now and then so she can buy a top or something if she goes out with friends to town. we also pay for her phone and any other one offs like rides at a fair, cinema with friend (maybe a couple of times a year) or something.

With that £3 a week, plus any birthday or Christmas money and vouchers she has won at school, she has become very savvy - knows when something is out of her price range, knows how to budget and save up for things, and make shrewd choices. She's also very generous and gives to charity and buys gifts for other people.

IneedAsockamnesty · 05/08/2013 20:31

Sorry people but under 16's do not qualify for NMW they are exempt

MerylStrop · 05/08/2013 20:37

£2 is tight but £5 way too much for 14 year old (with no skills)

£3.65 ish or whatever the NMW for under 19s is would be entirely appropriate.

IneedAsockamnesty · 05/08/2013 20:37

He could always get a job as a paper boy - that'll give him a shock too

That would get him £13-20 pw for 3 rounds a day 7 days a week

fedupofnamechanging · 05/08/2013 21:02

I think a fiver per week pocket money is fine. I only give my dc a couple of pounds of 'official' pocket money, but buy phone top ups, and give them money when they want to go out with their mates. Obviously I buy all clothes and books. Mine tens to get treated as and when I can afford it. Maybe OP is like that too.

HeadfirstForHalos · 05/08/2013 21:17

I think about £3 an hour is about right, it will be hard to build it up to a decent amount at £2. Maybe if he did 3 hours work, round it up to a tenner? Perhaps she intends to give him a bonus when he's finished, or maybe she just doesn't realise how low £2 and hour is these days, if she hasn't worked for a while she may be out of touch.

I do agree £5 pocket money is a little tight too though at 14. (unless you subsidise it paying for other stuff)

Liara · 05/08/2013 21:23

I pay my 6yo more than that! (he has to earn his pocket money)

londone17 · 05/08/2013 21:45

£5 is fair. If not then plenty of gardeners around instead who would charge more.

fluffyraggies · 05/08/2013 22:07

DD3, 15, delivers the local free paper once a week - Thursday evening, papers delivered to our door in a big bundle - it takes her 2 hours and she gets £7.95.

When she does gardening for her gran the amount she gets depends on how long she's been there and how much she'd done.

If she's there all morning and has been climbing around behind the pond scraping smelly pond weed out, and then cut up lots of branches etc her Nan gives her a tenner.

If she's just helped pull up a few weeds, handed over string etc and then had a hot chocolate Nan'll give her a fiver.

None of my DCs get any pocket money. I cant afford it. They get generous amounts of cash at xmas and birthday's, little handouts from their GPs every now and again, and i buy their clothes + toiletries (hair dye/razors/deo. - but NOT make up, that's up to them to buy) and i top up their phones. Once they're 18 they get food and lodging but that's it

Harsh?

harverina · 05/08/2013 22:08

£2 per hour is awful - I started my first job when I was 15 and got £1.72 per hour - that was 16 years ago! My money went a lot further than it would now!

Yes it's his granny but he is is looking to earn extra cash so that he can go out with his friends. What the hell is he going to be able to do for £12 that's half decent? Putting it into context and considering what he will actually be able to do with the money, it's not very much at all for the amount of work that he is doing.

I think that's £3.00 or £3.50 would be fairer.

And for those of you who are saying its his granny and he should be helping her for free...well, if it was my grandson I would be more inclined to be a bit more generous, rather than rip him off!

ArgyMargy · 05/08/2013 22:31

Thanks Fluffy! I was beginning to wonder what planet some of these posters are living on in relation to paper rounds. Someone mentioned doing 3 rounds a day for 7 days for a tenner??!! Your rate sounds about what the kids get here for the weekly free papers. Seems fair.

IneedAsockamnesty · 05/08/2013 22:51

That's the going rate round here.

But in all fairness each round only takes 15 mins

fabergeegg · 05/08/2013 22:52

I think £3 would be right, given the present financial climate (regardless of what she could afford to pay - you don't want you DS to find real life a step down).

But I do think he should be encouraged to do two hours for free. We've lost our culture of care and respect for older citizens. If you can't give your granny a hand, who can you help?

Original poster

nerfbullet · 06/08/2013 00:31

Bloody hell...a mixed bag. Some really helpful constructive comments thank you. The comments about how much (little) pocket money we give are actually irrelevant to the discussion, but as you bought it up Whonickedmyname....this is all we can afford, despite both working, we have 3 dc and are self employed which doesn't allow for regular wages although we give an extra couple of quid for lawn to be mowed weekly etc and extra occasionally when needed but really don't see what this has to do with the point. DS hasn't actually complained about the wage. He is an extremely hard working, very fit and capable lad, she will most definitely be getting her money's worth. He did a paper round for a year at 6am every morning until the newsagents shut down, and that didn't phase him at all so work shy he is not! WhoNMN , and Eddie I can count on one hand the number of times she has babysat for our three in 14 ears - never willing - so we have rarely asked. Luckily have good friends and other GP. Night all and thanks again for the intelligent and helpful points,. Defiantly helped!

OP posts:

Original poster

nerfbullet · 06/08/2013 00:42

Oh and he would help anyone on a heartbeat.....for FREE its only that his Gran approached him asking if he would like to make an extra few bucks, ha ha little did he know how literal she was being!

OP posts:

foreverondiet · 06/08/2013 07:16

Depends how hard he works - if he is as productive as adult gardener then £10 an hour fair, if he pisses around then £2 an hour too much. I think better to set a sheet of charges eg £10 for cutting grass, etc. then he can present his sheet of charges and she can decide what she wants.

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