Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

customer services getting my title wrong

164 replies

gasman · 05/08/2013 10:30

I have just phoned a major UK retailer (famed for their customer service). Despite me introducing myself and then correcting them once they persisted on calling me Mrs Gasman.

I am not Mrs Gasman. I am Dr Gasman. They were also being unhelpful in actually dealing with my problem so I terminated the call. I told them it was because they couldn't get my name right.

WIBU?

OP posts:
WednesdayNext · 05/08/2013 22:38

I don't think yabu. You have the right to decide what your title is and if someone asks you for your title then refuses to use it, yanbu to be annoyed.

I hate it when people assume I am a Miss, or call me Miss when they know I am a Mrs

Technotropic · 05/08/2013 23:05

"My name is Bouquet, Hyacinth Bouquet"

"Bucket madam?"

"No Bouquet" Wink

All I can say is you're lucky you're not a professional engineer who's title has been bastardised by the entire world. So basically if you're one of the clever men/women who designs the myriad of instruments/machines that enables Drs and consultants to perform their magic (that would be almost impossible without such tools) and get branded the same as a fecking washing machine repair person then you may have cause to be upset.

Till then YABU lol

Alohomora · 05/08/2013 23:33

YABU - OH has a Dr. title and doesn't give a figs, and I have friends who work in customer service and the customers who phone up or fill in a web form and put their title and insist on being called Dr. are usually the most demanding and unreasonable customers to deal with.

Sorry.

LimitedEditionLady · 05/08/2013 23:37

Sorry if this has been said but when i get someone at work introducing themselves as DR blah blah I just think they are being a bit show offy. Does it insult you to be mrs or miss or ms for the sake of one transaction?At my work the title isnt really of much importance and I wouldnt go out of my way to change it for the sake of it to be perfectly honest.

LimitedEditionLady · 05/08/2013 23:46

Omg,its about the op getting mad about their title and im reading up a bit and reading bits of their life.So im.going to answer the original post,YABU,its not that big a deal.Id be more offended to be called MR.

EBearhug · 05/08/2013 23:55

If I had gained a PhD, I'd want to be called Doctor, just because it's not a gender-specific title. Mostly though, I don't want to use any title at all, which is rarely an option on online forms.

However, if I have confirmed my preferred term of address with customer services, I do expect them to listen to that and use it, so I don't think the OP is being unreasonable.

kali110 · 06/08/2013 00:37

Sorry for your loss but i think ywbu. Gone through few things you are but ending a call because you felt they were imcompetent just because they got your title wrong bu. plus not going to be fun having to contact them again now.

FreeWee · 06/08/2013 02:18

If they can't be bothered to listen to you when you correct them using the wrong title are they really listening to the call? If they were paying attention to the caller they would have heard her correct them so perhaps it's a wider reflection of their listening/customer service skills? I have corrected an Indian call centre pronunciation of my name several times which they ignored and continued with their version. It wound me up too as it showed they weren't listening. I'm with the OP on this one. Call centres need to listen more not just go through their script.

ComposHat · 06/08/2013 05:03

I'm midway through a PhD in History, Each to their own, but if I ever get to the other side, I really couldn't give two hoots about using the title outside of an academic context.

I'd think of it as a work based title that is important in that context but trivial outside it. For example people I know in the forces will be known as Cpl. Smith at work but Mr/Ms Smith outside of work.

What relevance does it have to amazon or tesco clubcard or the AA? My sister who has finished her PhD phoned up all of these to tell them of her newly aquire d status. She went a bit cat's bum face when I ssked her if she thouggt she'd get extra clubcard points.

LadyClariceCannockMonty · 06/08/2013 10:11

'If they can't be bothered to listen to you when you correct them using the wrong title are they really listening to the call? If they were paying attention to the caller they would have heard her correct them so perhaps it's a wider reflection of their listening/customer service skills?'

EXACTLY. It's not the title so much, it's the lack of customer service from a, er, customer-services department.

'when i get someone at work introducing themselves as DR blah blah I just think they are being a bit show offy'; well, that's your problem really, not theirs.

'As long as they help and are polite does it really matter' In this case the OP said they weren't being helpful. Insult to injury.

LimitedEditionLady · 06/08/2013 10:24

I dont have a problem thanks,i was being honest i quite frankly couldnt care less if someones title is dr.At my work every customer is the same,i dont need to know their title because they will recieve the same service.Its not something to overly stress,which is what they do.

PrettyKitty1986 · 06/08/2013 10:32

I speak to many, many 'Mrs's' and 'Mr's' and 'Miss's' a week in a customer-service setting.
I speak to very few Dr's, Lady's, General's etc. A couple a month maybe.

When I do speak to a 'Dr' for instance, sometimes a 'Mr' or 'Mrs' will slip out. It has no bearing on how I deal with the person's query or issue. It does not mean I am shit at my job. It means I am human.

Having someone say in a snotty tone Actually it's Lady X, not Mrs makes me want to call them nothing but Mrs throughout. Does it really make any bloody difference? Get over yourself.

LimitedEditionLady · 06/08/2013 10:35

Yes prettykitty yes.it does make you think well whats the big issue really?

LRDYaDumayuShtoTiKrasiviy · 06/08/2013 10:38

It might matter to the OP because if her mum has just died and she's being called 'Mrs Yourname', it will feel as if someone is talking to her dead mum.

I'm not clear that's what's happened, I just think that would naturally be pretty upsetting (though obviously the call centre wouldn't know).

FWIW I used to agree with the 'oh, you're just being a bit pretentious/showy-offy' people about using earned titles, and then I realized that far fewer women use 'Dr' than men, and that does actually bother me. So I think it is in general worthwhile for someone who has an earned title in a field where women don't usually work to use it.

I also think people are ignoring the fact the OP said very clearly that the company were being unhelpful in actually dealing with my problem.

It's not that she hung up in a fit of pique because they got her name wrong. She was hanging up anyway and she told them it was because they'd fucked up her name.

PrettyKitty1986 · 06/08/2013 10:43

It's not that she hung up in a fit of pique because they got her name wrong. She was hanging up anyway and she told them it was because they'd fucked up her name

How pointless. The very fact that she told the individual that she was hanging up because of the name-misuse is ridiculous.
Having worked in a call-centre for 8 years I can guarantee you that that rep turned to their neighbour and said words along the lines of 'What a stuck up cow, fucking idiot hung up thank God'.

Had she remained calm and adult professional - possibly asked to speak to the individuals manager - then the issue of poor service would probably be dealt with.

What has been achieved by her hanging up? Her having to make a repeat call is what!

LRDYaDumayuShtoTiKrasiviy · 06/08/2013 10:46

Well, or them losing business, maybe?

I'm not defending it as a massively mature thing to do, just saying I see why she might do it.

I do get what you're saying about people having unprofessional attitudes, but that's not exactly her fault, is it?

LimitedEditionLady · 06/08/2013 10:51

But the op says thats its because they got her name wrong more strongly than anything else?i still dont think that you can tie in all the personal problems to justify what the issue is.Has the op just started using the title dr as its a painful connection to her mother?to.me this was a post that op grts anmoyed that oeople dont call her doctor.

LimitedEditionLady · 06/08/2013 10:57

But why wouldnt you just say im hanging up because of the service if it was the service?

LRDYaDumayuShtoTiKrasiviy · 06/08/2013 10:58

Well, I think because she was cross and upset.

And yes, doubtless it was a bit daft, but I don't quite see why she deserves such a mass of comments making out she practically killed a kitten in front of them.

It could be that, to her, them being a bit useless on the name just felt like one more bit of evidence they didn't really give a fuck.

kali110 · 06/08/2013 11:03

Wondering if fact they got her name wrong angered her so much that wouldn't matter if they were giving her great service she wouldnt think it because she was so annoyed.

Woodhead · 06/08/2013 11:35

Limited Edition
gasmanMon 05-Aug-13 10:47:38
I didn't want to be called Dr. I just didn't want to be called Mrs.

The Dr. element of this thread is a red-herring. The OP doesn't want to be called Mrs. This is a perfectly valid position, if there is a single title for men (Mr.) why are there still three (Mrs/Ms/Miss) for women all of which have connotations. I would be annoyed if a call centre didn't use the most neutral and most generally correct option (i.e. Ms). If I was called Mrs. Mysurname, I'd correct them as it is simply incorrect usage. In the same way, a male colleague with an Italian first name is often assumed to be female, he corrects Ms. with Mr. but noone would accuse him of being prissy for making the correction.

In addition, I suspect LRD has made the correct interpretation that having just lost her mother, being addressed as her mum was probably addressed was deeply upsetting for the OP.

OP-so sorry for your loss.

LimitedEditionLady · 06/08/2013 11:56

Not what the ORIGINAL post said.
My comment was that i myself didnt see until now that anyone would would have a issue with not being called dr other than being snotty.I didnt say that id never think otherwise i was saying that from the person dealing with the dr person thats how it looks.if i thought of every person indepth that i came across id have a breakdown.see hundreds of people a month.A person is a person unless i know them.

Woodhead · 06/08/2013 12:09

OK Limited I agree there is pertinent information in addition to the OP, and from the OP alone it might seem that the Dr. bit was the point of annoyance.

In terms of policy for call centre's it would seem reasonable to use Ms. as a default and Mrs. only on request surely? That seems straightforward when dealing with countless faceless individuals. I do realise that working in a call centre is a mainly thankless task.

eccentrica · 06/08/2013 12:17

YABU.

I am also a Dr and the only time I ever use it is if someone is being really sniffy and patronising to me, and talking to me like I'm a pig-ignorant teenager. It's a nice way to stop them talking down to you and tends to bring people up short.

Having said that, before I had my PhD I also used to correct people who called me "Mrs" or "Miss" and insist on "Ms". Because Mrs sounds like my mum, Miss sounds like I'm 6, and it's none of their business if I'm married or not.

But not in a million years would I be offended enough to hang up, nor to correct someone more than once.

LimitedEditionLady · 06/08/2013 12:24

Ok,it just seems that if there was a bigger problem enough to write a post,wouldnt that have been included not added later.now i have read the bit posted after it just makes me think you know what op?you just admitted you were being oversensitive.As much as customers have no sympathy for the people they ring up and take there anger out on at call centres ( they think it doesnt mean jot that they might be having a bad time) why the bloody hell should the person who works there overly think about implication of every tiny thing they do?i bet if they ask miss,ms,mrs theyll still get asked "what do you need to know that for?" If youve got an actual issue you need help with then thats what is concentrated on tbh.