WTF just happened? WIBU?

[Bogeyface]

Teen DD, GCSE results due at the end of the month.

She is one of those teens that can be fine most of the time but when she blows up it is the end of the world. I asked her to let me know what she needed for college and she went off on one saying that her GCSE results will probably be crap and she wont be able to do A Levels so she might as well not bother.....the usual teen melodrama. I do understand her worry but her major screaming and shouting really doesnt make anyone want to help her!

So, I stayed calm, said that she had worked really hard and that I was sure she would do far better than she was saying. "No I wont, its just a waste of time. I will end up not in college and then what?" she seemed to be genuinely asking me what would happen if she failed everything (which she wont).

Ok, says I, later on why dont we sit down and have a look at your options in case you dont get the results you want. We can look at retakes or different courses, then at least you will know what you can do.

"OH SO NOW YOU THINK I AM GOING TO FAIL!!! THANKS A LOT, EVEN YOU THINK THAT I AM THICK AND NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR A LEVELS!!!"

I didnt say that, I didnt mean that. I just thought that if she had a plan B then it would take away some of the worry she obviously feels. Clearly I was wrong.

WIBU to suggest this? She is stomping around in a foul mood now, and I am feeling rather pissed off myself.

Just seems like I can't do right for doing wrong with DD atm. :(

I thik I remember having the exact same conversation with my mum

I was just lacking in confidence that I would pass and was dealing with it in a typical teenagery way.

I have had almost identical conversation with my own dd.....think she's acting normally and so are you. you said what any caring parent would!!

yanbu

Sorry but, LMAO

Having the same conversation with my DS2 who is waiting AS results.

I had the temerity to mention 'what's your plan B?"

You've done nothing wrong. She wants someone to react against (as she's stressed), dont give her it.

Nod, ignore, look sympathetic, avoid (go out for tea and cake)

Our brains are wired differently when we're teenagers. That's why we're just one big emotional flake!

Can you tell her sorry, you were trying to say what you thought she wanted to hear and you can see how it made her feel more don't say insecure worried than she was? And ask her for a cuddle, sounds like she really needs one.

its cruel to make teens wait the whole summer!! poor kids

The thing is its a long summer for those that have taken exams. Is there anyway you can set DD with some PT work, friends kids are doing farm work for instance, to keep her occupied and too knackered to argue the arsehole out of the smallest thing?

Maybe its an age thing? We think "hope for the best, plan for the worst" so a plan B is an obvious thing. But perhaps to them, plan B is admitting to your fears, so they close their eyes, put their fingers in their ears and go "lalalalalalaaa"!

Humour her! That's what I meant to say. She has no idea how trying she's being.

argue the arsehole out of the smallest thing :o I like that phrase!

She is part of a local event at the moment. She spent the last 2 weeks away training and is now helping to run local activities for primary aged kids. She is really loving it so that is keeping her busy, but I think she may be PMTish as well, which is never good

Thanks guys, nice to know its normal.....I think

She's a teenager. As far as I can tell, it's a temporary form of insanity. Don't set your expectations too high regarding rationality or common sense!

Sounds like she's stressed and hormonal. I don't think you can really say anything right in that situation. You sound like a great mother btw.