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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think a creche shouldn't let a 2yo sleep for 3 hours

25 replies

vvviola · 05/08/2013 08:45

I collected DD2 (2 in a couple of weeks) from creche this afternoon, to be told cheerfully "oh, she had a great sleep today, she slept for 3 hours". Her usual sleep is between 40 minutes & 1hr 20 mins.

She's now still wide awake half an hour after bed time, balancing toys on her head, trying to feed her bottle to her doll & generally causing chaos. I have 3 hours study to get done tonight & we are all up early in the morning, so she really needs to be asleep at her normal time for everyone's sake (her own included)

AIBU to think the crèche should have woken her, or at least attempted to, after about 2 hours at the most?

Incidentally, she, and the other older ones who are getting ready to move to the toddler room sleep on little stretcher beds in the main room, so it meant 3 hours of attempting to keep the noise level vaguely low & preventing incursions into the sleeping area from the other toddlers.

Would I be unreasonable to ask them not to let her sleep so long again? (This is a new issue. While she still slept in a cot, nap time was a disaster taking ages to settle & then often only sleeping half an hour )

OP posts:

BeenieBaby · 05/08/2013 08:47

Did you tell them to restrict her nap? If not yabu. They're not psychic! Also I think kids build up their tiredness and if they need their sleep will take a longer nap. It's a pain if it messes up bedtime but its probably a sign that she was overtired.

Whothefuckfarted · 05/08/2013 08:48

YADNU to ask them to not let her sleep so long again.

If you hadn't discussed it before with them you can't really have a go at them for letting her sleep this time. maybe they just thought she must have needed it if she kept sleeping...

PeazlyPops · 05/08/2013 08:49

I kbow it must be frustrating for You that she won't sleep, but YABU. She must have been tired to have slept for so long.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 05/08/2013 08:51

Agree with Beenie. If my children have an unusually long sleep then I assume that they needed it. One of the perks of being little and something you just have to deal with as a parent.

CocacolaMum · 05/08/2013 08:52

How do you keep a tired 2 yr old from napping until they aren't tired anymore?

nurseneedshelp · 05/08/2013 08:55

If she slept for that long then she obviously needed it!
Is she sickening?
You just sound annoyed because you've not been able to get your studying done.

BrianButterfield · 05/08/2013 08:55

DS is the same age and often has a 2-3 hour nap in the afternoon. He goes to bed at 7.30 happily (he doesn't necessarily sleep but is content to lie quietly and play with teddies etc so that's fine by me). Not all kids will be messed up by that sleep.

Original poster

vvviola · 05/08/2013 08:59

Oh, I wasn't going to have a go at them at all - they are generally fantastic and DD loves it there.

Perhaps I'm just used to a different style of childcare. They places DD1 went would always have gently woken her if she went too far over sleep time (especially if it cut into meal/snack time as it did today). But they were more regimented generally (Belgian - so by 2 they were gearing them up for the transfer to maternelle at 2.5)

I will frequently (well, two or 3 times a month) wake DD of her naps at home go on too long - usually by opening curtains, making a bit of extra noise etc so she wakes up gradually. I thought most people did that occasionally (I'd miss the school run if I didn't!)

OP posts:

Original poster

vvviola · 05/08/2013 09:04

nurse it's not totally about the study (I'll just have to stay up later myself, no major deal just a little irritating), it's the knock on effects on DD2's sleep really. She's waking very early these days (before 6) so if she doesn't settle down by 7:30 or so, she wakes up really cranky and it sets everyone off on a bad start to the day (particularly her - as she'll have a grumpy handover at creche in the morning).

Sleep has been such an issue in our house (she was waking up to 5 times a night as recently as a month ago) that I suppose I may be a bit wedded to our timings and routine in an attempt to improve things.

OP posts:

arethereanyleftatall · 05/08/2013 09:06

Hello OP,
Like others have said, you just need to tell your nursery this.
All children are different, so the nursery wouldn't have known that your child won't sleep in the evening if they have a sleep in the day. For both my two, I never had to limit sleep, they would sleep 1pm - 6pm sometimes and still go down at 7 for 12 hours.

LEMisdisappointed · 05/08/2013 09:07

She slept for three hours because she needed to. If they had woken her you would have been posting that they woke her up and sent her home grumpy and probably over tired and unable to sleep anyway.

DoctorRobert · 05/08/2013 09:07

Think yourself lucky to have a child that actually naps! Mine hasn't napped since she was 18mo. At all. Ever.

YWNBU to ask the creche to wake her after a certain amount of time, but YABU to expect them to do that without you asking. If I was in care of a child, without instruction, I would let them nap for as long as they wanted as would assume that's what they needed.

arethereanyleftatall · 05/08/2013 09:08

Sorry, cross post, you didn't need to hear my story. Sorry.

CreatureRetorts · 05/08/2013 09:09

YABU - you should've told them!

chilipeppers · 05/08/2013 09:15

She must have needed it if she slept that long. I would rather my child slept as long as she needed at nursery then being woken up to be unsettled and upset for the rest of the day. They get so tired when they are in a setting like that. Totally different story at home. If she is tired she can chill out and have a cuddle from mommy at home.

formicadinosaur · 05/08/2013 09:40

I thin its reasonable to restrict sleep to an hour if that works for her and you.

MrsMook · 05/08/2013 09:47

DS1 generally naps for 2 hours but occasionally longer. We were camping last week and between earlier mornings, later nights and lost naps, he was losing close to 4hrs sleep some days. Yesterday was his first chance to nap in the cot for over a week and it was more than 3 hrs. Dinner and bedtime were delayed a little, but he's still easy to get to bed, so I just let him have what he needs. If he was completely disrupted that would be different, and I'd stop him from sleeping into the evening.

Have a word with nursery and let them know over-napping causes issues later in the day.

Original poster

vvviola · 05/08/2013 09:53

Ok - I'll go with IABU on expecting them to restrict her nap without me having said anything. I'll put it down to a cultural/expectations difference and have a word about not letting her sleep too long in future.

She is now finally asleep, her last act of rebellion was to strip her doll, hide the clothes and yell "clothes - boo!" as she pulled them out from their hiding place. She then lay down and was asleep 1 minute later crazy child

OP posts:

ll31 · 05/08/2013 10:00

Yabu, if she slept that long she clearly needed it. Tho I am firmly of opinion that you don't wake a sleeping baby or toddler unless you really really have to,so am biased!

I Wouldn't personally ask them to wake her in future,think that just results in over tired grumpy child...

BlackholesAndRevelations · 05/08/2013 10:36

Just tell them not to let her sleep too long in future; I've done the same with my son. If he sleeps longer than an hour he doesn't go to bed at bedtime. Sometimes he doesn't want to wake up but we do anyway, as the alternative is having him up til 9 or 10 pm!

BlackholesAndRevelations · 05/08/2013 10:38

Haha! Could my opinion be any different from the one before?! Just goes to show- everyone's different. You for what you believe to be best for your child.

BlackholesAndRevelations · 05/08/2013 10:38

*do, not for

mrsjay · 05/08/2013 10:44

I wouldnt wake up a sleeping 2 year old it is like unleashing the beast

TBh you didnt tell the creche you dont let her sleep 3 hours so they let her sleep till she woke up, next time tell them that she only gets an hour max and will they wake her,

FreudiansSlipper · 05/08/2013 10:49

its a bugger isn't it how children do not always fit into our routines

she needed it maybe she is going through a growth spurt

ds slept 3 hours yesterday afternoon (he is 5) he had woken up a little early but he needed that sleep awake later last night but all will settle down

ChunkyPickle · 05/08/2013 10:49

YANBU to ask them not to do it again, but if DS (just 3) sleeps at playgroup it's because he's absolutely knackered and needs it (he just drops where he stands when he's that tired, and could sleep through an earthquake, other children driving cars over him and even DP's snoring).

I wouldn't wake a sleeping toddler either but then mine is an absolute grump if you wake him before he's ready

DS is also at the stage where if he does have a long nap in the day then he'll still be up at 10, but on the other hand if he doesn't have the nap then he'll be a grumpy toad all afternoon so I have to weigh up the pros and cons of each :)

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