Oh god it's going to be like this all week, isn't it? (boring mad ILs thread, I'm afraid)

[Reality]

BIL and SIL, this is.

We arranged ages ago to have this week off and spend it together doing 'staycation' things so DN could have our kids to bounce off, mostly. TBH we had assumed that it woudl be Mon-Fri but then SIL asked me on Saturday what we wanted to do today. I said I'd have a think.

So yesterday we spoke and i suggested going to a steam railway thing locally. SIL poo-pooed it and said that DN woudl be too tired (they'd been out Saturday), and would we be ok just going to the park. I said that was absolutely fine, just give us a ring in the morning and we'd decide what to do.

BIL phoned DH at 7.30am and said that yes, they did want to go to the railway, and that they'd leave in half an hour. DH said, hang on, half of us are still in bed, it will more like two hours before we get there.

Half an hour after that (so 8am), BIL phoned back and said, DN is a morning person and is getting restless, so we're going now.

The trains don't even start running until 9.45, btw, and it's just down the road.

So they've gone from rubbishing my idea to actually stealing it and then going without us. What the fuck?

We have a WEEK of planned activities. We are going to a theme park tomorrow that is two hours away. DH says BIL has just announced they want to arrive there at 9am 'to make the most of it'.

This was supposed to be a nice week of taking the children out to do fun things. Not dragging them out of bed at 6am.

AIBU to just tell them to get on with it? I did NOT want this to be a stressful week, we have just got back (FRiday) from our very full on holiday, this was meant to be fun. It doesn't seem like fun to me.

AIBU?

I'd let them get on with it and join them later in the day if you feel like it.

YABU to expect anything other than irritation from your sil. You KNOW she's a pita. What di you (honestly) expect?

Other than that YANBU. Holidays are not supposed to be route marches.

We're going at about midday. There's only about two hours worth of stuff to do there, you have a nice ride on a steam train and visit the little shop, that's about it. NO IDEA why they need to get there an hour before the first train runs.

I just find it completely bizarre that they said they didn't want to go, and then went without us. This week was their idea, btw.

let them get on with it and don't change your plans

Oh yes I agree. If their kids are earlybirds and driving BIL and SIL demented by 8am then let them get on with it and join them later in the morning (if you want to). Its probably easier than you trying to get them to wait, and them trying to get you to hurry.

Don't let it be stressful.

You don't need to be in each others pockets all week. Just meet them at the theme park when you get there and get up and ready in your own time. Maybe you'll go n a few rides together, then you go off to do the rides theyve done and then meet back for lunch etc. just go with the flow a bit! Ditto rest of the week.

They haven't "stolen" your idea! They can go wherever they like! Why don't you just relax and say you'll meet them when you're ready? Surely there's no pressure on you. My dc are "morning people" so we like to get out and about reasonably early but no issue with people meeting us later if that's what they want to do.

Blackholes, I was being slightly tongue in cheek about that. But we won't be meeting them, it's not that sort of thing, you go there, get on a train, get off the other end, look at the trains, maybe have a cream tea, and then hop back on the train back. So in effect they've said, great idea, we'll go without you

yy to just arriving at the theme park when we're ready, that's our plan.

Whe in fact what they said was, oh no, we won't want to do that, DN is too tired. And then done it anyway. Without us. And arrived there an hour before it opens

Yes - just turn up when you want to at all the events. If you can meet up for lunch/a drink, great. If not, no worries/no hard feelings

Mmmmmmm cream tea

Whe in fact what they said was, oh no, we won't want to do that, DN is too tired. And then done it anyway. Without us. And arrived there an hour before it opens

There is nothing more dull than hearing about other people's childcare routines and nothing more irritating than being forced to fit in with them. My cousin is lovely but an over-engineer par excellence, even though her children are much older than my 8 month old DS. My sister and I just let her get on with it and meet up during the dayif we can and it suits.

Try and reach the mindset that it doesn't matter when they get there. It's no skin of your nose and if they want to get there and be first in the queue then it's better that you are not obliged to be there too

Stealing an idea? Stealing an idea to go to a local attraction. Just chill out in the back garden.

They sound hard work. Who rings at 7.30am on a Sunday? I don't like early starts as my kids are bit older now. Just run the week on your own time and meet up with them if it works.

Should say, my three are almost 11, 9, and almost 2.

Their DS is 5.

So by rights we shoudl be more precious about times and whatnot as we have a precious third born with routines that ought to trump the routines of a five year old.

I#ve given up with the whole week based on this. We'd deluded ourselves that it woudl be a nice thing to do but it's just going to be stressful, so we'll see them if we see them.