Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

Aibu to not visit ILs? Not salacious (sorry)

22 replies

Quicknamechage · 03/08/2013 09:04

NC to protect my anonymity.

We are due to visit DPs family tomorrow. Five adults, four children ages 6 - 16. They've all been on hols together for about a week.
BIL (adult) has glandular fever.
I have three DCs. Aged 4 mo, 3 yo and 5 yo.
I am worried about going as I don't want them to get ill and by now any number of the family might be contagious yet symptomless.
Am I correct?
Or being a fusspot?

Really like DPs family and we won't see some of them for quite a while.

OP posts:

Justforlaughs · 03/08/2013 09:06

I didn't think glandular fever was infectious unless you share a drinking glass or something like that. I wouldn't worry about it tbh. On the other hand YABVU to use a word like "salacious" at this time of the morning!

LuisSuarezTeeth · 03/08/2013 09:08

Nothing useful to add but I LOVE the word "salacious".

CaptainSweatPants · 03/08/2013 09:09

Isn't it the kissing disease? So fine as long as no one kisses bil

Justforlaughs · 03/08/2013 09:12

Just googled the NHS site for advice on glandular fever. People remain infectious for 18 months! but it is passed on normally through saliva and children tend to only get mild symptoms such as a sore throat, not glandular fever as we know it - that tends to be the domain of teenagers and adults. i think your DCs should be fine as long as you take normal, sensible precautions over kissing, drinking and eating utensils.

Original poster

Quicknamechage · 03/08/2013 09:15

Hanks.
Bil tends to be the one who cooks etc. he seems to be up and about as normal. I'm just a bit worried that all of them have the potential to be carriers now after a week together.

OP posts:

HappyAsASandboy · 03/08/2013 09:26

They might all be potential carriers, but they'll be potential carriers, with or without symptoms, for the next 18 months. As will everybody else you meet on the street!

I would go, and I would t make a fuss about BIL cooking/drinking glasses/cutlery. You'd just look mad.

The chance of you catching it is very slim, unless you snog your BIL, as is the chance of your kids catching it.

Have fun :)

Original poster

Quicknamechage · 03/08/2013 13:05

Thanks everyone.

OP posts:

MrsTerryPratchett · 03/08/2013 15:32

Make sure you don't do tongues with BIL, you should be alright. That would make it salacious though. Mmmmmmm salacious.

Groovee · 03/08/2013 15:41

Are you like this with every illness? I have had Glandular Fever 3 times as a teenager and no one else caught it from me.

Emilythornesbff · 03/08/2013 15:49

groovee you don't know that no be caught it from you.
And did you know that if you've had glandular fever you're twice as likely to develop MS in later life? Ok, it's still a small likelihood but I wouldn't choose to get it.
OP. with these questions I usually consult the nhs website for advice and then am a bit keen about hygiene.

Emilythornesbff · 03/08/2013 15:50

@ MrsTP

Groovee · 04/08/2013 15:48

No one in my immediate family caught it and no one in my year group caught it while I had it. I didn't go round snogging everyone like my brother liked to joke I did. I was mainly in bed with the GP visiting for blood samples etc as that is how bad it knocked me.

I have fibromyalgia which my GP reckons is stemmed from my GF. I am scared shit I develop MS, I have been since I was a teenager, but I wasn't to know I was going to keep catching it. Even the GP at the time was concerned I had immune system issues with how poorly I seemed to get. Chest infection you name it, I always caught it. I can now sense when things are going to flare up but occasionally

Would love to be mega healthy. But considering I work with children, I've obviously built an immune system at long last as I didn't have one day off sick in the last academic year.

Emilythornesbff · 04/08/2013 20:59

groovee your ms risk is still massively low because it's so rare.
I still wouldn't want to deliberately expose myself or dcs to any illness.
That was my point really. With GF 1:100 - 1:1000 will develop any number of particular side effects (not MS though, that's much muchmore unlikely) but I can see why the OP was worried about exposing her family. I wonder why you asked the op if she was like this about every illness.

parakeet · 04/08/2013 21:03

Groovee you were mainly in bed with your GP?

Emilythornesbff · 04/08/2013 21:04

Oh, but my point was that you can't possibly know if anyone caught it from you because of the protracted infectious/ incubation period.
Anyway. I do hope I didn't make you anxious. No need.

Groovee · 05/08/2013 11:32

Wasn't my GP my Glandular Fever. Obviously a typing error!

But I do know parents who sterilise their home on a daily basis and often keep children off nursery if they think they may catch a bug.

But if I am meant to get MS I will and nothing will stop that! We just have to accept what we get in life and make do the best we can.

Emilythornesbff · 05/08/2013 15:53

Well I don't believe there is such a thing as "meant to" in relation to illness tbh. Sorry it's been a stress for you, that can't be nice. But as you know it's not a common illness.
With regard to the OP and other ppl being over zealous about infection though, I think there's a significant difference between "excessive" cleaning in an attempt to avoid any number of unidentified ailments and choosing not to place yourself andyour children in the company of someone you know to have a contageous illness.
On balance I probably wouldn't go.

(but I see it's a bit late, sorry)

Emilythornesbff · 05/08/2013 15:55

I've just re read your lat post groove and I think I might have misinterpret you.
Apologies.

Groovee · 05/08/2013 16:13

I think you have Emily. I can't stop my body developing things and what will be will be. I have accepted that.

Emilythornesbff · 05/08/2013 17:33

Well, quite.
We're all alike in that respect.

Emilythornesbff · 05/08/2013 17:40

Anyway, sorry about that.

Gingefringe · 05/08/2013 18:06

My main concern would be that BIL does the bulk of the cooking - can you make sure he doesn't dip into the food to taste with the cooking spoon like my MIL which makes me gag if GF is transmitted by saliva.
My brother had GF as a teen - it was severe and has had a lasting effect on his health so please don't disregard the risks to you all.

Flip