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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Over indulgence of the liquid variety (warning a bit TMI)

22 replies

curiositykilledthekat · 03/08/2013 07:11

My DP went out last night, I always sleep in the spare room as i give him a wide berth when he is drunk but heard him come in at 4am. Once I heard the snoring I went to check the lights/oven etc were all off. He had passed out fully clothed and shoes on the bed so I took his shoes off and jeans but he was such a dead weight that's all I could manage!

So as not to drip feed- He doesn't go out much and its not something i have a problem with i am all for having a good social life with friends, but he drinks at home, something I have been trying to encourage him to cut down on lately not just for health reasons but his six pack he had when I met him has turned in to a 7 month pregnancy belly.

The trouble is he doesn't have the ability to acknowledge when he has had enough so when he does go out with friends I know he will definately be sick in the morning as he tries to keep up with his mates, the fact is he cannot handle his drink. Luckily he is pretty good at getting it in the toilet but not this time!

I have been woken up at 6.20am by the sound of horrendous puking. I laid waiting to hear him go back to bed but then realised he must have passed out in bathroom. I sneak in to see and it's carnage in there.

He is asleep on the floor with pants round his ankles and the corner bath is full of puke. Oh the smell!!! He had a kebab (yes I did warn you TMI!) I was gagging. In fact I am in the spare room and I can smell it from here!

So I have shut the door and blocked it so my two kids can't get in (youngest DS is due to wake any minute).

My question is am I being unreasonable to leave him to clear up his mess? I am on a very slight guilt trip that I should go and help but to be honest he is a grown man. Ok we have all at some point got in a state like that, but he is mid thirties not a teenager!!!

OP posts:

Maomoo · 03/08/2013 07:13

I would definitely leave him in it!

Turniptwirl · 03/08/2013 07:16

Leave him to it, he's a grown man.

Take the kids out for the day (so you and they don't have to be around him not to give him an easy ride) and tell him you expect the bedroom spotless when you get back

hesterton · 03/08/2013 07:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Stressedtothehilt · 03/08/2013 07:16

Haha reckon I'm mates with you on fb how funny tos a small world :) take as many pics as you can of him and tag him on fb in them

TWinklyLittleStar · 03/08/2013 07:16

Just make sure he is on his side not his back - people do die from choking on their own vomit - then leave him to get on with it.

Suddengeekgirl · 03/08/2013 07:18

Yep - unless you or the dc need the bathroom leave him to it.
I would possibly leave a glass of water and some cleaning supplies but I would also be very pissed off! Real grown ups shouldn't be drinking till the point of puking IMO.

RubyGoat · 03/08/2013 07:27

YANBU. It's self inflicted.
My DH rolled home stinking drunk on one occasion, he nearly fell through the front door (literally, I had to pull him away for fear he would break it). Dragged him upstairs to get him cleaned up, as he'd fallen in the gutter & stank of booze, he then proceeded to throw up massively while sat in the bath. I couldn't leave him in it as I knew he would just make more mess trying to sort it out, & probably couldn't get out of the bath on his own anyway (he had a severe but undiagnosed knee injury at the time). The next day he claimed to have no memory of the evening's events. I had no problem with telling him in graphic detail exactly what he had put me through & I said if I'd not been scared he'd choke to death on his own vomit, I'd have left him to sort himself out. He hasn't done anything remotely like it since.

Original poster

curiositykilledthekat · 03/08/2013 07:32

Ha ha stressedtothehilt I did consider taking photos but thought IWBVVU!!! Especially with his arse hanging out.

I just heard movement and the shower turning on. He has attempted to get the sick down the plug hole but has failed miserably and it's blocked.

He has crawled back to bed and is snoring. Well the bathroom is out of bounds. I am going to get up and go out with the DCs and leave him to it!

OP posts:

IsThatTrue · 03/08/2013 07:33

Nope leave him to it. Jesus I've been in some states but have always made it to the bathroom read as always sick the night before so there's nothing left in the morning

Original poster

curiositykilledthekat · 03/08/2013 07:37

Lego you are so right. My Mum always said if its self inflicted leave them to it!

I will go and dig out some bleach and marigolds and leave it by the door, that's my contribution!

OP posts:

CaptainSweatPants · 03/08/2013 07:38

Ew that is so ew!!

Go out all day definitely

I'd be gagging

ethelb · 03/08/2013 07:38

Do you have another bathroom? What is the rest of the family going to use? I would get him to do it now tbh.

Capitola · 03/08/2013 07:40

No way would I clean that up.

Hope you've got another loo to use!

Original poster

curiositykilledthekat · 03/08/2013 07:40

Isthattrue I am totally in the puke before bed school of thought.

Back in my teens I would make myself sick before going to sleep just to get it all out! Much better than puking in the morning.

Oh God I am going to have to get out of this place ASAP. It absolutely stinks of vile kebabs. Toxic!

OP posts:

Original poster

curiositykilledthekat · 03/08/2013 07:42

We have a downstairs loo. I'm going to have to have a baby wipe wash this morning and have a shower round my DM house!

I can't face going anywhere near that bathroom.

OP posts:

Jinty64 · 03/08/2013 07:44

Take the kids and go out for the day. Have lunch out and a really great time. Txt him at 1700hrs to check that he and the house are in an acceptable state to "bring his children home". Consider an overnight in a naice hotel! I couldn't put up with that.

RubyGoat · 03/08/2013 07:46

Make him change the bed sheets as well. If he is anything like my DH they will reek of alcohol, it comes out through the pores & he always seems to sweat more when he is drunk. Yuck.

DwellsUndertheSink · 03/08/2013 07:46

my DH tripped up on his way home from the pub and severely sprained his ankle. Limped home, woke me up with a drunken ramble about how he's broken his foot (i pointed out that as he walked home nearly a mile, i doubted it was broken) and stumbled into bed. ABout 1:30am, he woke me, stumbling to the bathroom. Then I hear an almighty crash - he has fallen over, wacked his head on the bath and is unconscious and butt naked on the bathroom floor.

Phoned 999, paramedics get him up and into the ambulance - he comes round but blood pressure is tanked.... I told him I would collect him from A&E when he had seen a doctor.

Having determined that a) he was not concussed and b) he was still under the influence and c) that his foot was not broken, they left him to sleep it off in the corner. I fetched him at 6am.

To this day, he maintains that he was not a P&FO statistic (Pissed and Fell Over).

BlackholesAndRevelations · 03/08/2013 08:34

Oh dear god. My dp was sick ONCE after a night out, in the loo, after I'd made him change dd's nappy

This is inexcusable behaviour. Maybe I'm a total bitch but I wouldn't put up with it. Before children, no problem (though he'd be cleaning it up!) after having children you are supposed to be a GROWN UP.

Bleurgh!

tulippa · 03/08/2013 08:41

Leave him as long as he's not going to choke.

My DH threw up on the back of my head once in bed after a night out. I had to pick bits of meat out of my hair. It was minging and I was very angry.

MummyPig24 · 03/08/2013 08:41

I'd leave him to it. Fair enough he doesn't do it often but I still wouldn't clean up someone else's puke.

If dh was ill with a virus or something then yes I would help, but ill from drinking is self inflicted and I wouldn't want to help clean that up. Bleurgh!

Justforlaughs · 03/08/2013 08:44

I certainly wouldn't be clearing up after him, although I would probably get the cleaning stuff not as a nudge in the right direction and leave it outside the door.
And, the next time he goes out with mates, tell him to either stay with them or in a hotel - see what short thrift he gets there!

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