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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel confused by the level of affection one feels for nicknames on a screen?

253 replies

ClockWatchingLady · 02/08/2013 21:11

I'm a bit late to the party, having only just discovered MN (never been on other "chat" type sites either). It really feels like people care about each other here, and (like countless others, it seems) I continually find myself "checking" on people on certain threads, and thinking about some posters' welfare very regularly.

I can't formulate my question exactly, but isn't it a bit weird that none of us really knows each other? Or do we? What does it all mean?! People who have been on MN a long time: do you feel that you have real "friendships" here?

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 02/08/2013 21:14

Definitely Clock, but not close friendships. You remember people for what they have been through and stories they have told. It is weird, but I do genuinely care for a lot of people on here and yet I have never met them and would pass them in the street.

It works both ways though you remember if someone has been a right arse for instance. Wink

Tee2072 · 02/08/2013 21:18

I have met quite a few MNetters. And care about even more.

But, then, I fell in love with my husband over the internet.

Original poster
ClockWatchingLady · 02/08/2013 21:19

Thanks for the reply, Sparklingbrook.
Interesting to hear.

(re-reading the title of this thread I just hope, then, that I'm not remembered as some right arse trying to impersonate the queen. I'm really not that posh Wink )

OP posts:
mrsjay · 02/08/2013 21:22

I randomly remembered something I read about a member said a while ago the other day It was quite weird I mentioned it to the poster I hope she didnt think i was so sort of stalker or something If you post alot and are on the same threads then you have a sort of onscreen friendship going on does any of that make sense

Original poster
ClockWatchingLady · 02/08/2013 21:23

Do you mean in the flesh, Tee? (the MNers, I assume you and your husband have met in person)

OP posts:
mrsjay · 02/08/2013 21:24

aww thats nice tee 2 of my friends have met their partners on the internet one is married the other in a LTR

Sparklingbrook · 02/08/2013 21:25

You do find that you end up with like minded people on the same threads again and again. I am often found down the lighthearted end of MN talking cobblers and tutting over slebs. Grin

Nirvana79 · 02/08/2013 21:25

I find it hard sometimes. I've NC today, not for this thread but I never seem to fit in anywhere, even online. I'm a nice person, honestly Grin

Everywhere I go I just don't fit. There is loads of support on here though that I've seen which is nice.

Sparklingbrook · 02/08/2013 21:27

I am sure you fit somewhere Nirvana. Perhaps you need to talk more cobblers.

Nirvana79 · 02/08/2013 21:27

Not today, the other day.

BrainSurgeon · 02/08/2013 21:27

I totally see where you're coming from OP.

I started feeling the same after about a year here.... then I went to a MN meet-up and now I can definitely say I care about quite a few of these vipers Grin

Nirvana79 · 02/08/2013 21:28

Yeah maybe, Sparkling. I need to try harder I think.

Original poster
ClockWatchingLady · 02/08/2013 21:28

Yes, the NC thing is strange isn't it? So you sort of have to start all over again if you do it.

OP posts:
Tee2072 · 02/08/2013 21:28

Yes, in the flesh, Clock. Both here in Belfast, for which I am the Local Editor, although I met some before I took up the job, and in London.

The Forty Plus Mummies have been talking online for over 5 years and meet up at least twice a year.

Nirvana I've only ever really fit in long term places online. I mean, I have friends, but not really close ones, my husband being the exception.

But this isn't my first internet message board by a long shot and I still have friends all over the world from others.

daisychain01 · 02/08/2013 21:28

What a brilliant and perceptive observation. And its just so true. I notice that people chat away like they see each other every day! I probably havent been on here long enough because people dont really chat to me. Maybe it just takes ages and ages. But I love all the witty banter.

The top thread at the mo has to be TidyDancer's one about the friend who has asked her to decorate her wedding hall even though she de-invited her from the wedding. Its like a party in there every night, everyone getting involved!. Grin

Original poster
ClockWatchingLady · 02/08/2013 21:29

What makes you think you don't fit, Nirvana?

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 02/08/2013 21:29

Some people worry about being anonymous and some don't. I depends what you share really. There is nothing I have posted on here I would mind if anyone read TBH.

InTheRedCorner · 02/08/2013 21:30

I'm the same as Niv I just don't feel like I fit in but still stick around on the sidelines and NC a fair bit.

I've had lots of support here though and never roam far from MN.

SisterMatic · 02/08/2013 21:30

I found MN difficult at first but I am slowly getting into it. You have just got to take the plunge.

FruOla · 02/08/2013 21:30

You get to 'know' some MNers over a period of time. As Sparkling says, you often find yourself 'chatting' to like minded people on MN.

And I've also met a number of MNers in real life - through MN - so deliberately arranging to meet, rather than just randomly meeting someone who you subsequently discover is a MNer.

SisterMatic · 02/08/2013 21:31

...but also..know that once you are here..you never leave

Tee2072 · 02/08/2013 21:31

Me too, Sparkling. I'm out loud and proud. Grin

mrsjay · 02/08/2013 21:32

I have made some lovely from forum and chatrooms MY dh thinks it weird
yep Nirvana you need to talk tosh and rubbish it is fun

Sparklingbrook · 02/08/2013 21:33

I have nothing to hide Tee do you feel the same? I am me.

Nirvana79 · 02/08/2013 21:33

I don't know, Clock. I have tried to get involved but I just seem to slip by the wayside. Story of my life! I've just moved to a new area and finding it hard in RL to establish friendships. MN is very busy so it's hard to be seen sometimes.