He is being a twat about this. I honestly can't think of anything less sexy.
It also worries me a bit that you say you have sex twice a week as you are "making the effort" but you look forward to your period because that means you are off limits. You are actually entitled to not have sex when you don't feel like it, you know. I realise that having a specific medical condition makes it more difficult and perhaps you don't get the same sense of wanting it/not wanting it that somebody without the same condition has, but still - don't feel like you need to have sex more often because he wants it more often, go at the pace which is comfortable for you.
Also, and I know one situation is very different to another, but I had something which sounds incredibly similar to this when I was 18-21ish - sex always painful and not a lot of fun for me, sometimes even impossible due to the degree of "tightness" and dryness (sorry if TMI). I thought it was condoms, the pill, we tried lube etc, didn't help. The only thing that did was me using my vibrator to sort of force myself to relax before he entered me. Often I would use the vibrator all the way through sex. This is really stupid looking back, but we stopped using condoms and the pill because I thought that both of them were causing the problem, and, predictably, I ended up pregnant. After the birth I was just relieved I had a legitimate excuse not to try for a while 
. I found vaginal examinations during pregnancy really, excruciatingly painful. I almost fainted during one of them.
Anyway, we ended up splitting up, reasons were complex, but one of the big ones (among the others) was that he was constantly pressurising me for sex. Every few months we would have a big argument where he said I wasn't normal (thanks, I was aware of that and already feeling terrible about it) and that I needed to try harder, wear sexy outfits for him, blah blah. The everyday stuff was worse, though. Every time we were sitting together, yep, hand on the penis. In bed, hand on the penis. I was supposed to wank him off as he fell asleep. I used to just sort of do it slower and slower and pretend I had fallen asleep. If I decided I wanted to do oral or something he'd be delighted, but then expect the same thing every night from then on. If I gave him a hand job he'd be all "Now use your mouth, please, I really want to feel your mouth on me." and if I gave him oral he would be all "I really want to be inside you" - always pushing for one step more. I ended up really resentful - why didn't he just feel grateful for what I was offering! I instigated a "sex timetable" just so that I had days of the week when I wouldn't get any pressure, but that didn't work because he would text me every day from work saying "Which day is it today?"
I never got any dilators because I never got to the stage of medical intervention - too embarrassed to go in the first place, then was pregnant, then recovering from birth, but I did have a couple of dildos (which I never used, didn't see the point) and after we split up I decided to try on my own to see if I could, basically. It took me a while but I eventually worked up to the biggest one, again using the vibrator, and it was okay. But I didn't miss sex at all and I was glad to be single and not have to worry about it any more.
When I first got together with DP I was so worried about the sex issue. I warned him that I wasn't very good at sex and probably wouldn't want it very often, also that I might not be ready for a long time in the relationship. We got together in October and I mentally gave myself a deadline of Christmas/New Year, although I then worried myself to death wondering if I would be ready by then, and thinking surely he would be fed up if we had been together for 2 months and hadn't had sex yet. And then one day he confessed that he was also nervous about sex, because he had been single for 3 years, and he was worried he wouldn't be any good. He said, as a joke, can we just not have sex for at least 6 months? That made me laugh, and it made me relax. Our first kiss was great - we just kissed for, literally, hours, with no hint of any groping, touching, even undressing. I'd never experienced anything like that before.
Anyway, in this relationship - we've been together almost 3 years now - the issue has all but disappeared. In fact, it does flare up sometimes and all I have to do is say to DP slow down or go back a step and he's perfectly happy to do so. Either we slow it right down and it's alright, or we just stop and that's fine too. On very rare occasions, I think two or three times ever, I have totally clamped up and it has become uncomfortable in the middle of sex and we have just stopped and that has been it - no guilt trips, no pressure to finish things in another way if I didn't feel like it. In fact he was more concerned with making sure I was okay. Some weeks we have sex a lot, and others we don't have sex at all. I don't know if it's a combination of being more relaxed in general around him or the fact that he's very respectful and never pushy about it when it is a problem, but effectively I feel normal now, I feel like I have a normal sex drive (sometimes he jokes that he can't keep up and I lured him into the relationship under false pretences 
) and looking back, I think the problem with my ex was that something was telling me "I don't feel safe here". I know that the sex problems came far earlier than I was aware of actually not being happy with him, but the more I pulled away, the more he pushed, which made me recoil more and it just led to a really vicious circle. I have a theory that some people are just really sensitive to things like that and it affects us sexually.
Sorry that was really long and may not be the same thing as you at all, but I couldn't not post, it just reminded me so much of the situation I was in if that makes sense. I hope that in some way it helps you find a resolution, whether that is with your current partner or not. I think if there is any hope of things improving he's going to really have to see your point of view and adjust his attitude in a very significant way. I wish you luck with it.