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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

wibu to expect my mum to help when I was sick?

16 replies

purplestripedpetunia · 01/08/2013 21:11

Long time lurker so please don't be too harsh- I think I need a little perspective.

I was sick one day this week with d&v, puking all night and the runs too. I have 2 dc, one 4 and the other almost 1. I usually work part-time, but this week had to take time off to watch the kids as the childminder was on holiday. Obviously I didn't feel up to looking after them both the whole day, what with being up all night and just generally having to run to the loo every 30 mins, so rang my mum the following morning to ask her if she could come over and help.

My dh would usually take the day off in this situation as we don't have anyone in our town to rely on in these situations, but he had a training course that he couldn't get out of. My mum lives an hour away by car, 1.5 hrs by train. I rang at 8 and asked her to come, and she said she would get back to me. She doesn't drive, but there is a train station in her town that's a 5 pound taxi ride away, and I live literally across the road from one here. The train ride would require one change. Whenever she comes here her nd drops her off and picks up.

Anyways, come 12pm, she rings to say bf is coming to her house and she will let me know what the situation is. 3pm, phone call to ask how I am and should she still come? By this point I said no as dh would be back back in 3 hours and I'll manage, although I was still feeling shite and knackered too.

Btw, she is 72 with no health or mobility issues but is use to

OP posts:
purplestripedpetunia · 01/08/2013 21:13

Damned kindle!

Is used to being ferried about.
Aibu to expect a little help? She was welcome to stay over and knew that.

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Shamoy · 01/08/2013 21:19

Sorry you were feeling so poorly, I hope you're feeling better now.
I do thnk it was a bit much to ask of your mum tbh. 3 hrs travelling, when she is not used to travelling alone at all, at very short notice, at 72, when your dh could have taken the day off work instead (if he was sick he would have had to take the day off, training course or not) sorry, being a parent sucks when you are ill!!

cacamilis · 01/08/2013 21:19

yabu your husband had other plans and you accepted that why should it be any different for your mum.

Shamoy · 01/08/2013 21:20

Plus of course she may very likely have caught the sickness bug too!

CaptainSweatPants · 01/08/2013 21:22

If you had d&v why on earth would you want you mum to come & stay and probably catch it?!

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea · 01/08/2013 21:22

YANBU to ask but YABU to expect. Your DH could have cancelled his training, people get sick, it happens.

Hope you are feeling better.

missimperfect · 01/08/2013 21:27

Its hard to say really. My mum is 73 and would have found all the travelling and child care a bit much, but on the other hand she wouldn't have kept me waiting and wondering about it - she would either have come or not come not dithered about - I think that made it worse for you.

purplestripedpetunia · 01/08/2013 21:29

Thanks for the quick responses! I guess I was being ur, its just she will happily sit on a coach on her own for 10 hours to see family at the other end of the country. You are right though, she might have got ill.

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HeySoulSister · 01/08/2013 21:30

Yabu!

Justforlaughs · 01/08/2013 21:32

I wouldn't have asked this of my DM tbh.

cacamilis · 01/08/2013 21:39

can you not see there is a difference between taking a planned trip to spend time visiting and dropping everything at short notice to travel on a train to mind kids and a sick woman and possibly pick up a bug.

McNewPants2013 · 01/08/2013 21:46

With D&V nobody is allowed in.

If I am unwell then this is the time DC have run of the house, 24/7 screen time, junk food and the house goes to pots.

apostropheuse · 01/08/2013 21:50

YABU.

You wanted her to take a taxi and two train rides and to travel one and a half hours on the train, then to look after a four year old and a one year old - and she's 72 years old. That's unfair to her.

I know it's not easy being unwell when you have small children, but it wasn't a serious illness. I'm afraid it's just something you have to cope with.

If you really couldn't manage on your own it was your husband's duty to look after his children, not your mother's.

MissDuke · 01/08/2013 21:51

I wouldn't have asked my mum and she live 10 minutes away and is only 58. Hope you are feeling better soon though.

purplestripedpetunia · 01/08/2013 21:52

Yep, that's what I did newpants, we all survived! Feeling much better now.

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purplestripedpetunia · 01/08/2013 22:00

Missimperfect- I think it was the dithering that probably got me the most actually.

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