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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Or is 'crap' not a word a 3 & 6 year old should use?

46 replies

devonsmummy · 01/08/2013 20:54

Ds age 6 - dad what's a slum?
'D'H - it's a craphole
Me - er, that's swearing
Kids in fits of giggles while dh saying crap's not swearing
So who's right?

OP posts:

2rebecca · 01/08/2013 22:34

Bloody is a swear word. Crap is just an adjective. I'd never talk about making a bloody decision, that just sounds like I used the wrong carving knife. For most people bloody is just an unnecessary extra word, like fucking.
Crap is descriptive.

Still18atheart · 01/08/2013 22:40

In my eyes Crap is swearing but at the very least it's a grown up word, which means that it's inappropriate for someone under the age of about 16 to say it.

Bogeyface · 01/08/2013 22:45

Its one of the those words that if I over hear the kids saying in a giggly, lets hope mum doesnt hear, kind of way then I let it go. Anything above that on the sweary scale gets and "OI!!!" which funnily enough includes "Damn it" which is 11 yr old DD's latest favourite. She says it isnt swearing, which it isnt but for some reason I find that far more offensive from her mouth than fart, crap and knackered. They are all borderline words.

If it was said in an angry sweary way then I would be onto it, but it isnt it is said in a whispery "its CRAP!" followed by giggling at their own daring.

Bogeyface · 01/08/2013 22:46

2rebecca sadly, Fucking is an unnecessary extra word in my life too at the moment

2rebecca · 01/08/2013 23:00

Fart is a borderline word? Do you make them say flatulence then?
Not sure what the verb is "you flatulated?"
It's another descriptive word I don't find remotely offensive. Farting in public is unpleasant, the word itself is fine.
Fucking is the other way round! (Not usually in public getting to old for that now)

Bogeyface · 01/08/2013 23:02

Fart is fine at home, but something that I dont like them saying in company as it seems to split the room (the word, not the action.....although probably that too!) I worry about being judged

I havent fucked in anyway for quite a long time, so not an issue verbally or otherwise :o

lottiegarbanzo · 01/08/2013 23:13

Well I'd certainly say that was a crap explanation of what a slum is!

Your DH has used crap to mean shit, which is its ruder meaning and, I think, not appropriate for a child. Shithole is a horrible phrase for a child to know or use.

Using 'a bit crap' to mean 'rubbish' is more acceptable but I still wouldn't be encouraging it in a 6yo.

2rebecca · 01/08/2013 23:25

I'd find the term craphole offensive, but not because it has the word "crap" in it but because it sounds offensive and crude, is fairly meaningless in this context apart from making a slum sound nasty and negative which i suppose they are, and doesn't answer the child's question.

Bogeyface · 02/08/2013 00:31

I agree. A slum is somewhere that a family lives because they have no other choice and the OPs DH could have used that as an opportunity to show his children how different things are throughout the world. Instead he dismissed it with an insult, or at least it feels insulting to me, like they choose to live like that.

Bellebois · 02/08/2013 00:36

www.letstalkcrap.co.nz/

I am currently on holiday in NZ and this campaign is all over the place in the region I am staying in... Radio, TV etc

Kiwis are notorious for using 'loose' language though, in the media, and of course, it filters through into daily use. A few years ago the best/most popular advert on TV used the word 'bloody' as in 'bloody hell' ... It is common to hear adults and kids use both words here I would say (amongst others!)

auntmargaret was the teacher antipodean by any chance??!

As a primary school teacher myself, I would not let children use either word in my classroom, although it is certainly not as bad as others that are regularly heard in the playground.

ARealDame · 02/08/2013 00:43

Crap is a swearword IMO; and I discourage my son from using it. It means shit. I'm tired of hearing this everything's "crap" or "shit", even amongst naice, educated young people.

Whatever happened to the beauty of English language?

Bogeyface · 02/08/2013 00:51

My DD thinks that the only reason Ron Weasley exists is to say "Bloody hell", I think she has a point!

ReginaPhilangie · 02/08/2013 00:55

My kids say it and it doesn't bother me, but then they're probably just copying me.

123rd · 02/08/2013 00:58

Our dc think crap is a BIG swear word!!

vvviola · 02/08/2013 01:06

Bellebois - I was about to mention that campaign (and the general loose attitude to language over here).

I had to have an interesting conversation with DH about the use of the word "bollocks" in front of DC. Apparently seeing as there's a cafe here called "the dogs bollocks" (!) it isn't swearing!

That said, DD came home from school saying "Mary said the S word, Mum". I started saying "oh, well yes, that's not a nice word", and then she informed me that the word was "stupid".

RonaldMcDonald · 02/08/2013 01:12

Crap is not a swear word
At all

bragmatic · 02/08/2013 02:15

Mine have said it. I don't like it and tell them to say 'rubbish' instead. As in, "that's rubbish!" They use it in the context of describing something they don't like.

tarantula · 02/08/2013 12:54

LongTailedTit - The word crap was in use long before Thomas Crapper and has nothing to do with him. It started as an English dialect word meaning chaff or husk from grain and is possibly related to the French word crappe or might even be of Dutch origin.
This is why in some places it is not considered a swear word because it is not considered an equivilant word for shit but rather means rubbish.

cushtie335 · 02/08/2013 14:12

It just means "rubbish" or "not very good" in Scotland. It wasn't until I moved down south that I heard it being used as a synonym for "shit" as in "I'm taking a crap" or "I nearly crapped myself".

Sparklymommy · 02/08/2013 14:23

When I was a child my father told me any word used not for its intended purpose was swearing. Until the day he died I NEVER swore in front of him.

My children would be threatened with soap to wash their mouths out if they used crap/bloody/shit any word like that. My four year old appears to be using "oh darn it" ATM, which she has been warned about because it doesn't sound nice from a child's mouth.

My dads one problem with my husband was his swearing. He could live with it but called it disrespectful. He also believed swearing was a sign of ignorance and being uneducated. I still don't swear in certain company and never on Facebook or twitter. On the one occasion I did I got lots of comments about how upset I must have been!

cushtie335 · 02/08/2013 14:32

I must confess to loving swearing and can find it very liberating and funny. Some of the user names on here like "Whothefuckfarted" have me in stitches. That said, I wouldn't want a 6 year old coming out with it :)

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