WIBU to TTC

[FunkyDiamonds]

Hi MN I'm fairly new, I've lurked for a while but never been brave enough to actually say much!
I don't have any friends to talk to about things or ask for advice and I would really appreciate opinions on this as I genuinely don't know if it would be fair.

I would LOVE to be a mum, I have always wanted children and am great with them, I know it's hard work and stressful but I think I would be a good mum and believe it's completely worth all the sleepless nights and tantrums to have children to love and care for.
The trouble is I suffer with social anxiety and I find it difficult to talk to other people.

I have struggled for many years now and I avoid social situations and find even general chit chat and small talk very stressful. I don't have any friends but am so lucky to have a dp.
I know when you have children it's all part of the deal that you'll have to be around and speak to different people, right from pregnancy and birth (midwives, health visitors etc) to teachers, other parents at the school gates, play dates, kids parties etc. I don't think I could handle being around and talking to all these people and my dp would probably have to do things like that instead of me.

I also don't work due to this which I know isn't a great example for a child- nor is my anxiety around other people. I wouldn't want my children to grow up as social outcasts with no friends because of me! My dp works for himself and can be flexible with his hours so could do school runs etc if I couldn't cope (I feel so silly and embarrassed saying all this).

Do you think It would be unfair on any children to have a mum like me, I have improved a bit and can actually leave the house/go to the shop/for a walk alone so the child wouldn't be completely housebound when they're alone with me. I could take them for walks or to the park, it's just being around other people I find it hard to cope with.

Wibu to have children? I wouldn't want them to be socially isolated because of me :(
please be gentle, I am way too sensitive and am so anxious even writing this post, that said of course I would like honest opinions from you wise MNer's and would love to hear any experiences too. I just want to know if other people with an outsider view think it would be U of me to TTC knowing I have these issues and whether people think my anxiety would have a negative impact on a child? I would never want my child to think this is normal and end up like me!!
Thanks for reading and so sorry if it's too long or doesn't make sense, it all sort of blurted out and I think i might have babbled x

I think YWBU to try to TTC at present too. There are many things you can do to get your anxiety under control so i would use this time to work on them with your doctor.

Whilst your have a DP that can be flexible, that may not always be the case and its unfair to put all the burden on him. What would happen if you split or he develops health problems, if you are not well you wont be able to work or take your child to school etc.

Sulking inner child speaking here.

My lovely Mum suffers very badly from social axiety, she doesn't like crowds, doesn't like leaving the house, doesn't like public transport, wouldn't learn to drive, has no friends etc etc

She was our main carer with my Dad working night shifts 6 days a week (this was the 70s).

So if we weren't at school we were stuck at home, and having to try and be quiet so as not to wake Dad up.

We couldn't go on day trips; go to Brownies / ballet / swimming etc. Our main holiday was a stressful car / ferry trip to GPs with Dad driving while Mum vomited the journey away. She never came to watch nativity / sports day etc.

Unless you can address it then IMO YABU and unfair on your DP and DCs

**anxiety

Op I was the same. Extreme social anxiety. I had just quit my uni course because I couldn't cope when I discovered I was unexpectedly pregnant. I was terrified but it just hasn't been an issue, it was almost like a switch going off in my head or something. My confidence grew massively when I had ds and discovered I was pretty good at being a mother, also I just didn't think of myself much, ds came first. I now have a second child and whilst I am still quite a reserved person I no longer feel any social anxiety. I can't really explain how it happened, it just changed my whole mindset somehow.