To refuse to accept Christmas presents for the dc in July?

[DevastatedD0G]

Bit of back ground. Pil are awful, live close by but have not seen dc for over a year doesn't even arrange to see at Christmas, doesn't even meet dc3 till she was 10 months old despite parking in our street, swore at me, the list really is endless, he is also racist bigot, really horrid man

This Xmas gone is the first one they've not bothered to see dc, this week they gave bil xmas presents to give dh for the dc, couldn't even be bothered to arrange seeing them to see them open them etc. dh is hurt and upset again. Then step mil asked bil had we got them and why hadn't we called to thank them? We just sent this:

Hi T, we got the Christmas presents for the children, as its actually closer to next Christmas than last and you and K haven't seen the children for so long we don't feel we can accept them, we actually find this half hearted gesture very insulting. We can either pass them back to R to return to you or pass them on to a charity shop, which would you prefer?

My friend said we shouldn't have poles the beat but I think they should know we are upset and acknowledge receipt of presents but also say we aren't keeping iyswim. Are we being unreasonable?

Poked the bear even.

Or am I being a twat? I just think its bloody insulting now surely?

I just didn't want them to think its ok or that we were being rude not acknowledging their presents iyswim

I had exactly the same with MIL. Held onto them until DD's birthday (which MIL forgot) and then wrote a PA thank you note for DD's birthday presents.

He accepts they are loons but they are still his family, he finds their total disinterest hurtful. They all have family's aka but don't invite dh, don't tell him anything etc. his other brother has had a baby lately who is poorly and been in hospital a lot, they drive 4 hours to see her, I think it's all about appearances iyswim, they are doing the whole caring gp act. They always tried to control us and what we did and quickly lost interest when they realised they couldn't. I think bil is more impressionable.

I think you need to rise above it. I would have accepted the gifts and sent a short thank you note like "Thank you for the Christmas gifts. The children were very surprised to receive them in July but will enjoy playing with / wearing them. Best wishes etc"

I did wonder about that ghoul but we just couldn't. It seems such a slap in the face if they'd had the front to bring th round I'd have been inclined to accept them.

Oh, a message from step mil saying she doesn't understand! Followed by a Voice mail "Dh's full name it's your father here, I think you better give me a ring, get this sorted out, IM NOT VERY FUCKING HAPPY." Like we are in the wrong. I think dh would rather shit in his hands and clap.

They gave you children Christmas gifts in July and they are now offended? If I were your DH I would ring them and give them a piece of my mind now.

Has your dh spoken to them yet ?

your poor dh. what is wrong with people. think you were right op.

Well I know what you mean, but it is really quite rude to reject a gift because it is too late.

I have to say I admire you for sticking to your guns. How perfectly vile of them to be so half hearted with their dg. I am sure your children are doing fine without them and that they are the ones missing out, not you and your dc.