To expect a babysitter not to be drunk when we get home...

[Sticklebug]

Ok, I have delayed all day posting this as I may be being unreasonable.

We have a usual babysitter (aged 17) who babysits for us on a regular basis, but she is on holiday this week. I asked a good friend with children the same age as ours to babysit last nigh so we could go out on DH's birthday. Her DH birthday is tomorrow, so I am reciprocating by babysitting for them.

So... said friend turns up last night with a large bag - first to come out is a pari of slippers - good idea, our house is really cold. Second to come out is a bottle of red wine...ok, fine to have a glass of wine on a Tuesday night. Cue me showing where wine glasses stored and joking about needing a glass mid week on occasion.

We went out and had a lovely evening, really good food, some wine.

We got home and friend was asleep on the sofa - fine, it was 10.30 and late for me! She was really hard to rouse though and then we noticed the empty wine bottle...she had drink an entire bottle of wine in just over 2 hours...whilst in charge of someone elses children!

She shuffled to her feet and left in a hurry (lives 3 doors up so no driving), leaving us a bit unsure of how we fell about this.

AIBU?

[HoikyPoiky]

Obviously YANBU.

I had a teenager turn up drunk and high but I didn't realise it until later. I don't know why I didn't realise at the time but it crossed my mind halfway through our romantic meal out. I guess I had noticed subconsciously. . I wasn't too worried as my kids were quite old and almost too old to be babysat.

I am interested by those saying 'what if there was a fire' etc. Does that mean they wouldn't ever get drunk when they are in charge of their own kids?

It doesn't effect me as I don't drink.

[HoikyPoiky]

Oops x post

[HoikyPoiky]

Isn't a whole bottle of wine an awful lot to drink in two hours . I know some wines are stronger than others but it is a lot of alcohol.

[lurkerspeaks]

I don't subscribe to the "no drinking while babysitting" rule for friends doing people a favour.

I wouldn't however drink masses (so 2 glasses max.) while responsible for other peoples' children. I don't think any of my friends would drink more than that but the vast majority of us would have a glass or two. I wouldn't babysit for free for anyone who didn't trust me to regulate my EtOH intake. None of my friends abstain from alcohol when supervising their own children so to expect a friend to do so is a but hypocritical.

If I'm paying a babysitter then my views change radically. I'm buying a service and I want them to deliver it sober!

I think your friend has just unwittingly outed herself as having a big problem with alcohol.

[maddy68]

Actually it's only two large glasses of wine. (I do have big glasses) perhaps she drank more than she intended?
I could drink a bottle quite easily without feeling really pissed

[cfc]

One of us is always able to drive. It's rare I'll drink these days, but if we had a particularly nice bottle of red, I'd have a glass.

Pregnant and nursing for the last 5 years has put paid to my drinking career.

So I agree, it's not right for both parents to be drunk when in sole charge of chlidren. But as always, there are shades of grey. At least 50, or so I've heard...

[auntmargaret]

I think you're all being a bit judgy. There was no harm done.

[KirjavaTheCat]

My MIL has issues with alcohol. Her house burnt down because she'd drunk so much and forgotten to snuff out candles in her living room. She only woke up when the flames were licking at the sofa and the dog was barking in her face, terrified. She woke up and the whole room was in flames. Her young DD was asleep upstairs, they got out safely but they lost EVERYTHING.

I don't think it's ever a good idea to get drunk when you're the sole responsible adult! Ever. You never know what will happen.

[maja00]

I do get drunk at home, and neither me nor DP drive so that isn't an issue for us.

However, we wouldn't both get passing-out drunk (or I wouldn't if home alone) while DS is here as you need to be at least able to wake up if there is a fire.

[cfc]

There was no harm done this time - but as I ask myself sometimes, "what would the coroner say?"!!

Cold hard facts speak volumes.

I just think passing out fluthered whilst minding someone else's children (or your own, but that's your own business) is wrong. I don't think it's judgey to think that - it's just opinion. I'm not judging her as a human being, I don't place her next to Mugabe on my list of "Bad Peeps" - just in this case, she's made an error in judgement. That's all. We've all been there, to some degree.

[Branleuse]

I wouldnt be impressed but no good can come of bringing it up with her. shes not your regular.

[EvaBeaversProtege]

How closely did you look @ the bottle? Are you certain the bottle was full & not just half a bottle?

She may have been exhausted & fell asleep - you say she's been having problems with her children, perhaps she used the time in your house to get a proper relax?

My mil babysits & I usually leave wine for her, I wouldn't be offended if she drank it.

My kids are 9 & 11 and I figure my house could burn down at any time, not only when a sitter is in charge. (more likely to happen with me than with a sitter as they wouldn't be cooking!!)