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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to refuse to go to a work related meeting in my lunch hour when I already have a lunch arranged?

32 replies

SpringSunshine · 31/07/2013 10:46

Just what it says really - work want me to go to a 1pm meeting. My lunch hour is 1pm - 2pm and I usually meet my mother on the days she has the children as she is not well and I like to give her a bit of a break - the kids can be a bit full on when she has them both as they bicker and fight ...

OP posts:

cornypepper · 31/07/2013 10:48

so when do work think that you will have your lunch break - it's not a 'working lunch' is it?

MerylStrop · 31/07/2013 10:49

Could you not rearrange your lunch hour and meet her at 2.30, or 12?

noblegiraffe · 31/07/2013 10:49

Is your lunch hour being 1-2 set by the company or by you? Are they suggesting that you have no lunch break on that day? That's not allowed, so presumably you could meet your mum in the slot your lunch is rearranged for?

angelos02 · 31/07/2013 10:49

Depends how senior your role is & how important the meeting is?

Groovee · 31/07/2013 10:50

Do you get paid for your lunch break?

Sirzy · 31/07/2013 10:50

Generally if it is in your working hours it is expected that you will be a bit flexible about lunchtimes and breaks isn't it? Can you not just have your lunch before or after the meeting?

FeckOffCup · 31/07/2013 10:50

Depends how important the meeting is, if it is crucial that you are there then they should give you 12-1 as a break to get something to eat and your mum will have to manage without you for an hour. They are not being unreasonable to expect you to attend the meeting but you still need time to eat something beforehand.

EvieanneVolvic · 31/07/2013 10:51

Depends on how much notice they've given you. If it's just a day or two ask them to stick it where the sun don't shine if it can be rescheduled. If it's a reasonable amount could you perhaps make other arrangements for that day...you always get brownie points for being flexible.

RoadToTuapeka · 31/07/2013 10:54

Could you have lunch at 12 and meet your mother and children then instead? I think probably yab a little unreasonable if this sort of request is a one off and can't be arranged for another time. My work would have expected me to accommodate occasional meetings over lunchtime, sometimes these things can't be helped. You should still get a lunch break though!

lottiegarbanzo · 31/07/2013 10:57

Depends how senior you are, how fixed your break time in t+Cs and how much notice. I assume you are junior, otherwise there is no issue. Are they preventing you from having your break at 12-1 or earlier. instead?

Mabelface · 31/07/2013 10:57

Lunch break times aren't usually set in stone and people do generally need to have a little flexibility. Just change the time you're meeting your mum. It's no biggie.

Beastofburden · 31/07/2013 10:58

I would meet my mother before the meeting, surely it would be just as much help to her an hour earlier?

InTheRedCorner · 31/07/2013 11:00

Just change the time you have your break and attend the meeting - you may get a free lunch?

EvieanneVolvic · 31/07/2013 11:02

I have to say I am quite pleasantly surprised by the tone of the responses here...and that most people think that the OP should work round it. I am an employer and it makes me think I am maybe a little too soft resolves to be much harder and arrange lunchtime meetings at nil notice in future

Original poster

SpringSunshine · 31/07/2013 11:03

The meeting is not at the office so I would have to leave at 11:45 to get there on time. It is likely to take 45 mins so i would get back about 14:45 and hence no chance to take a lunch hour ...

OP posts:

CaptainSweatPants · 31/07/2013 11:05

If it's not a lunch meeting have your lunch at 12pm & meet your mum

It's good to be flexible & not arsey at work otherwise the next time you ask for time in lieu to see a nativity play for example they'll tell you to stuff it

EvieanneVolvic · 31/07/2013 11:06

Nice little drip feed there Sunshine . Under these circumstamnces if I were your boss I would not think badly of you if you asked if there were some kind of workaround. But if it can't be done and they are not in the habiot of springing this sort of thing on you, you may just consider sucking it up...

phantomnamechanger · 31/07/2013 11:08

so this has been sprung on you, today (so zero notice), at a time that is usually your fixed lunch break? YANBU - what if you had arranged a dental appt or eye test or something in that slot?
however, if this is unusual/an emergency and your employer is otherwise reasonable and fair, and good when YOU have a family crisis etc, just this once you need to grin and bear it.

broccolirocks · 31/07/2013 11:09

Can you call your mum to see if she's ok and maybe finish an hour early?

lottiegarbanzo · 31/07/2013 11:11

Well, what does your contract say and are others at the same level treated the same way? If there's any expectation of flexibility and others are expected to do the same then you can ask whether they could give you more notice next time, so you can perhaps arrange for someone else to visit your mother but you can't really expect to be treated differently, if this sort of meeting is part of the job.

Nanny0gg · 31/07/2013 11:12

Can you make alternative arrangements for your children if your mother isn't well?

Sounds like they're a bit much for her, And to be fair, that isn't your firm's problem.

Sirzy · 31/07/2013 11:15

So you have lunch earlier then go to the meeting.

Its not your employers fault that you have chosen childcare which can't cope with your children for the day. When you are at work then - emergencies permitting - you should be at work and available and flexible to their needs.

Beastofburden · 31/07/2013 11:18

It's 75 minutes to get there? seriously? ask if you can attend by phone as it is inefficient to spend 120 minutes round trip travelling to attend a 60 minute meeting. That would be true regardless of your lunch plans. Three hours out of your day to do a one hour meeting- that is not an effective use of your time.

Crinkle77 · 31/07/2013 11:19

If it is a working lunch they should give you the time back so you can still meet your mother. If it is a one off I would just go to the work thing.

Original poster

SpringSunshine · 31/07/2013 11:24

lol OK sounds like I am being unreasonable.

Did wonder if i was being a bit pig headed as my boss is a sh*t-bag (to quote a colleague) and completley unreasonable in all respects so I am not minded to do anything to help him ...

Will get dh to check in with mother and go to the meeting :)

Thanks all

OP posts:

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