to think my friend's plan is a little ... unusual?

[WestieMamma]

She has decided to reduce the amount offered to her son at feeds because she is worried about his weight and the fact that obesity runs in her family. He's on the 50th percentile for length and the 75th for weight which she feels is too big a difference. He's 5 months old.

My first thoughts were shock and 'you can't put a baby on a diet'. But she's a nurse which makes me wonder if she's better informed than me and it's the right thing to do. The reason I want to know what others think is that my little tubbles is on the 40th for length and the 95th for weight, so should I be doing the same. (I wasn't worried until she told me her plan)

This sounds bonkers to me. My DS was quite big at birth (8lb 15), and weighed a stone by 6 weeks; some weeks he put on 2lbs. He just looooved milk. He was always on a much higher weight than height centile. Now, at 5 years old, he's tall and whippet-like. I would agree that eating habits in childhood can have an impact on lifelong habits, but I wouldn't extend that to milk feeding in infancy.

Is she bf or ff? I don't see how her plan is going to work.

I think she's mad personally.

My DS was on 50th length, 75th weight and 25th head circumference!

He continued on the 50-75th for length and 75-90th for weight until he was about 5. Very active child too.

He's now nearly 9 and on 38th for height and 32nd for weight.

Children change and settle into the bodies their genetics have given them.

That's very common, Murder - especially given how expensive formula is, people don't want to/feel they can't afford to waste it. It's better to make a smaller bottle then make more if the baby is still hungry but that's is more faff than people want too.

The biggest health issues come in when a baby is born smaller than average and parents try to 'catch them up' - recent research has show that has a hugely negative impact on that child's later cardiovascular health.

I think the fact she's a nurse is irrelevant to the "plan". I'm a nurse, but have about as much knowledge of infant nutritional requirements as the general population (I nurse patients at other extreme of ages ).

Unless she has specific instructions from a health visitor / paediatric nurse / paediatrician she shouldn't be putting her 5 mo on a "diet". IME with dd, children get chunky then suddenly grow in length and unless she is deliberately overfeeding her child or forcing him to finish a bottle of formula, then it's surely irresponsible to reduce his intake without professional input.

I wouldnt take advice from her on how to feed your own DC.

I not aware of her having an eating disorder, although I know her partner has had a gastric band fitted. Reading the replies here I wonder if she just means not working to get the baby to take the last bit of the bottle. I don't know, it's hard to tell. They are PFB with knobs on, so it may be partly down to that too.

Oh well, up to them I guess. At least my Baby-Blobby will be pleased to know his dinner isn't being locked up :o

That's a terrible idea. A baby should never be put on a 'diet'. At five months old you can't read anything into the height/weight centiles, apart from that he sounds perfectly healthy. As long as the HV or GP isn't saying they are concerned about over feeding there's no reason to change anything (and I have a friend whose son is off the centile charts for weight - over 100th - and they are nothing but reassured about how well he's doing. He'll even out once he's on his feet)

Please don't follow her example. Obesity issues start after weaning (not through a milk based diet), and even then you'd have to be feeding the baby a pretty extreme diet for there to be a concern. Most babies seem to self regulate well (they'll chuck it on the floor when they are full!). Babies and toddlers need a lot of fat for healthy development, hence the advice on full-fat milk (never skimmed or semi skimmed).

Just enjoy your reassuringly well padded, healthy baby. By 2ish he'll probably be a little streak of lightning zipping around burning it all off quicker than you can get it in

Maybe im missing something but how can you actually make a baby finish the bottle when they are full?

My ds pushes the bottle out with his tongue or keeps his mouth closed when is full so it is impossible to feed him. He is on 50th centile for weight and 98th centile for height. Basically babies know when they are full and if they are still hungry they will scream until they are fed. You cant put baby on a diet.

Quite KFFOREVER the baby is telling you he's full and you've listened - if you tickled his feet, sat him up a bit etc he would rouse, be grumpy and take a bit more milk to go back to his happy sleep - do this enough times then his natural saitity levels will be over ridden. I don't mean that every FF child will be in that situation but some are - seen it in my own family. If the particular child in question has parents who usually try to get them to finish the bottle then they might have been advised to make a bit less and then only top up if still hungry. As long as OP doesn't do this she has nothing to worry about - her baby's weight will probably sort itself out once more mobile - always best to check with HV though.

I thought fat babies were a positive thing though? Did I miss a memo?

DD2 is FF and when she is full she pushes the bottle out and doesn't take anymore. How can you actually make a baby take more milk if the don't want it? Don't they just spit it out?

If DD2 is hungry she cries until she gets more milk so how can a mum listen to her baby cry through hunger :(

I'm not really sure that it is such a direct correlation between size & amount consumed at that age. I say this as I have b/g twins. My girl has a much larger appetite than her brother (although they are both good eaters). She will finish whatever you feed her whereas he will invariably eat about 1/3 less than her yet he is far bigger and chubbier than her. She is quite skinny and a little bit shorter.

I'm not sure where she puts it all but there's nothing to her, my boy is quite chunky!

A diet for a baby is ludicrous really and I suspect could be very harmful for all aspects of development. As a 5 month old baby only eats when hungry it is essentially starving them which is cruel and detrimental

Oh god, this makes me mad, more so because she is a nurse!

Don't listen! I'd gently explain to her the reasons why it's a terrible idea as well!

YANBU, it sounds like a bad idea to me. Apart from that, he's not even on a top centile and even it he was, I wouldn't reduce his feeds.

Maybe don't be so hard on the mother. She is doing what she feels is best for her child, something we can probably all relate to.

Clearly she has issues, but name-calling is terribly unkind and unhelpful.
Maybe just tell her you think her baby is beautiful and healthy-looking, and remind her it's good for babies to have fat on their bodies to tode them over if they get sick.

I think she needs support.

tide not tode

I think the fact that she will feed him when he cries with hunger makes this less worrying. It just means that he will cry for milk earlier than he would have done if she let him finish when he was ready. Personally I demand fed my dd until she was full up and she clamped her mouth tight shut when she had had enough. She is now 9 and very slim.

OK, I think that maybe the OP has slightly misunderstood what her friend has said. (She may not have, in which case friend is BU)
Possibly, the baby was on 50th centile line for both weight and height. Due to hot weather baby has been feeding more, and has now increase centile line to 75th for weight. Nurse friend is now considering reducing the amount of milk given at feed and offering water instead. How does the OP know that the friend hasn't spoken to HV about this. If the baby has increased centile line at weight it will have been flagged by the HV at clinic. 25% is quite a lot to increase.

It depends on exactly what she means by restricting it though.

My dd21 would eat whatever was on her plate, and almost never refused food. So if you gave her an adult size portion, she ate it.
At 5 months she would happily eat a large potato mashed with cheese, a yoghurt and follow it with a full large banana. That is as much as I'd eat, and more than she now eats age 12! (Weaning was at 4 months back then)

If what she means is that she is not going to push to finish bottles, and think about reasonable potion size, if she has a dc like that, then I think it's reasonable.

What I changed to doing was put small portions on the plate, and if she was still hungry, then she could ask for more. But she didn't have that drive to finish everything, which was there with a large portion.

Murder bil did that with their baby-wanted distrubing as little as possible. Continued into weaning-full meal for baby then give 2 adult size pizza pieces for them to eat during their meal so baby didn't disturb them. Said child was over 30lb at a year

My did is 9 months, bf and now weaning onto solids. She's on the 50th percentile for height but the 98th for weight. I'm not at all worried, apart from her gorgeous chubby thighs she doesn't look fat she's just solid!

I, too, FF DS 7 months and feed on demand.

He loves his milk and I'm really struggling to introduce water, but since around 5 months, I've only ever made 5 oz bottles and sometimes he'll finish, other times he'll turn away and refuse.

As long as he's happy and satisfied, I'm happy and satisfied that he knows when he's had enough.

Quite honestly, if your friend proceeds with her plan and is in fact intending to put her baby on a diet, I believe she'll fail, as the baby will let her know and unless she's preparing to ignore her baby's cues, the baby will still ensure it's hunger is satiated.

No, I wouldn't do what your friend is trying. At the same time, as long as she isn't extreme, it seems unlikely to do any real harm. My baby was a bit of a guzzler but she was in proportion. They thin out as they longer and more active. But I did ease off my gina ford induced practice of 'tanking her up' when I realised she'd turned into a milkaholic.

Ask her what the health visitor and doctor said about her plan.

And if she hasn't asked them make sure she does.

And if she doesn't want to ask them, then ask her why she doesn't want to ask them.

She won't asked them, and she needs to think carefully about her motives for not asking them.

Putting a 5 month old baby on a diet sounds like a very bad idea. Has she asked a HV / paediatrician about this at all?

And unless she's a nurse specialising in looking after babies, I wouldn't count on her being more expert on babies than anyone else.